How many hours do you work?

[Mimiandme]

Hi everyone, looking for some help / advice. I’ve got a 2 year old daughter and currently work 9 hours a day, 3 days a week. I’m finding the balance really really tough, I start work at 7.30am, the morning is a mad rush, trying to get my little one sorted, I look a mess as I run out of time to get myself sorted and I just feel really overwhelmed. My husband works shifts and very long hours so I prefer to not work a Thursday and Friday as those are our days together as he usually works weekends or if he is working on those days I use those days to get things sorted, clean, get things done around childcare. It feels like having a Thursday and Friday is a luxury but really without that time I wouldn’t see my husband and it’s hard enough as it is. He’s in emergency services and is usually late off sometimes another 6 hours off on top of already a late shift, no two days are the same and I never know when he will be home so having those 2 days off works for us.

I’m thinking ahead (I’m a worrier!) about school hours , pre school etc. I’m stressing wondering how I will fit my hours in if I need to do school drop off and pick up? I think it would be easier to spread my hours out over 4 days? How do you make it work? I know a lot of mums do hold down full time jobs and sometimes even more than 1 job. I feel like I should be able to manage this but I find it really hard. I do have anxiety which doesn’t help. I’m just curious what hours do people find a good balance?

I work roughly 30 hours a week over 3 days (3 x 10 hour shifts) as a chef/line cook and I have a 4 year old, an 11 month old and I'm 5 months pregnant... I'm exhausted. My partner does Monday to Thursday and I do Friday to Sunday, luckily we both work at the same place in the same department so we can work our shifts around each other with no issue. I'm considering dropping a day and working 16-20 hours over 2 days instead, as I get absolutely no respite 😭 it's bloody hard being a working parent x

I work three x 8 hour days. Office hours, but flexible, so if we’ve had a shit morning it doesn’t matter if I am “late”. I think I’ve got a really good work/parent balance.

55-60 hours per week, over the normal five days.

My DH does about the same. We’ve two children, so do need to use a nursery and we also have a nanny.

I sympathise. I’ve yet to find the balance. I’ve recently moved quite a distance back to my home town following a divorce and didn’t have help before I moved around my mon-fri full time job. I didn’t have a lunch break so I could pick dd up from school and started work (wfh) at 7.30am before school drop off then worked until 6pm at the earliest in the evening often restarting once dd was in bed. I pre prepared all her food at the weekends and she ate dinner at the kitchen table whilst I was working at said table. It will be worse now as the school she’s in takes an hour round trip so I’ll be working even later around her. Appealed against school placement but don’t expect to hear until end of September at the earliest. I think we all juggle to some degree

Following as I’m keen to reduce my hours

I work 38 hours a week over 5 days. My husband does the nursery runs and childcare until I get home in the evenings as he's more flexible and works from home full time although he also does the same hours. It works for us and although I'm exhausted bu the end of the day but I would say we have a really good balance.

I’m self employed and have an almost 3 year old. I’ve realised that realistically to cope with sickness, school holidays, school hours etc I can only commit to 14 hours a week. As soon as I’m on top of something my daughters ill or the childminder shuts and I’m back to playing catch up again.

I'm paid to work 37 hours over four days. 4x9:15 days. In reality I work about 45 hours per week, for which i get flexi credits for.

I'm constantly knackered but its a pressurised time at the moment. I'm not not juggling children though. My colleagues who are seem to manage by working earlier, heading off to do the school runs,and then getting back on line (all varieties of children's ages/requirements throughout the team) . This seems to work ok - most ensure their diaries are up to date, and it makes it easy to check if they are out for 30 minutes (or however long it takes), and when they are likely to be back.

We both work shifts when DS was that age we hardly ever had more than a day off together a week. What do you do? Our breakfast club starts at 7:45 and I work 8:30-17:00 with after school club available until 18:00 could you alter your hours?

Contracted for 33.75 over 4 days (90% of FTE), but in reality I do 35-40 most weeks, more if I have to be away overnight. Usually do 8ish to 5/5.30. DW does 30ish over 4 days, this will always include 1 weekend day but doesn't start until 9.30 so can do drop off.
Between us we have 3 days off during the week so we only use 2 or 3 days of nursery and when DS starts school in 2 weeks we only need ASC 2 days per week. It's a bloody struggle, I only cope because I WFH pretty much full-time when I'm not travelling, 1 or 2 days a month in the office and usually 1 overnight a month.

I do 3 7.5 hour days and finally feel like I'm not running from one thing to the next ( though children are now school age and I mostly wfh so can make up time on my off days if need be). I do need to use after school club but find this works better than 5 short days due to the above flexibility and work prefer it.

Full time…39hours. We both do the same hours though.

Thanks everyone ❤️. I just had a sit down chat with my husband and he’s actually been pretty supportive. He’s going to see if can do a flexi pattern so he can do 4 school drop offs a month which would actually really help me and then he will make up the extra time on the end of a shift, which to be honest he’s usually late off anyway so an extra hour at the end would be fine and then I’ll do longer days on the days he’s off so some days I’ll do 7.5 hours and others I’ll do 9.5 hours.

Im wondering if as my daughter gets older it will get easier as she’s really dependent on me at the moment because of her age. I spend half the morning running after her 😂.

Tell me it’s gets easier ? Did you find the mornings get easier as they get older?

Thanks again mama’s! x

I recently had this same dilemma. My little one is nearly 3. He's been in nursery for the past 2 years but I've been studying full time for my degree and I was always available for drop off and pick ups. Since graduating in May, I was about to head into teaching (PGCE) this September but got cold feet about the amount of hours required with such a small child. In the end I pulled out of teaching and now work 6 hours (5 days a week) from 9:00am - 3:00pm. It's flexible, I can work up to 3 of the days at home, with 2 in the office, or I can start/finish a little earlier/later if required. I've been incredibly fortunate in the flexibility of my new job and I can't tell you how relieved I am.

My little boy still goes to nursery 8-6pm and once he reaches school age, I'll still be able to do drop off/pick ups without trying to find wrap around care. Personally, if I was in your position, I would spread the hours out over more days. I'm assuming it's not viable to reduce the hours at all?

I work 40 hours over 5 days as does DP. When DS was younger it was a mix of nursery and grandmas helping. Now he’s in school and it’s before and after school club, lots of dashing out of work ON THE DOT at finish time so I’m not late collecting him.

Very stressful and I wish I didn’t have to do it. Currently 19 weeks with DC2 and when my mat leave is up my partner is quitting work until the free hours kick in as we just couldn’t afford childcare for 2.

I have a 4yo and 2yo and I currently do 20 hours a week on average, though it actually works out 14 one week, 26 the next. I do two 7hr shifts every week, and a 12hr day every 2 weeks in addition, so a lighter week and a heavier week! We also work childcare round each other (he works weekdays 9-5ish) and at the moment only have a day off together every 2 weeks, though we do feel quite lucky that we get time together through my husband working from home, and from me doing either an early or a late so always have some time on my one working a day a week we don't cross over.

I totally understand, it's hard trying to fit everything in and not be stretching everything too thinly. I also worry about the future as when the kids are at school/nursery more I'll want us to have more time together outside that and at the moment I work mostly evenings and weekends. I'm lucky my work is quite flexible and I hope then to be able to pick up more early shifts when they're at school, but will have to see how it all pans out.

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed, I sometimes feel that way too - it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job. All the best however it works out for you!

I have 4yo twins and 6yo and work 20 hrs a week. 9.30-2.30 4 days a week. And have a day off to get the house straight. My partner works long shifts so I don't have to do more hours and can do the school run etc.

Gosh, are you doing mornings (ie getting you and your DC ready) on your own and needing to be working by 7:30? I work more hours than you over more days…but neither my nor DH’s shifts start until 8:30, so we have more time in the morning and we can tag team. I think I’d massively struggle trying to have DS at childcare and being ready for work by 7:30 too!

Tough call, but if you are sinking without trace, could you do a half day one on of your off days?

Changed jobs & Went PT when DD was 15 months. Term time My basic hours are 22.5hr spread over 4 days Mon-Thurs plus paid overtime. I’m 5 mins from DD school. Mon 9-12 & Tues 9-2 (actually work til 3 both days) We’d/thurs 9-5 pick up from school club. All school holidays I have Mondays off then make up 3 hours on Tuesdays.

32 hours over 4 days. DH also works 4 days, 35 hours. We use wraparound childcare 3 days a week.

I work term time only, 8.30 - 3 , five days a week and have a six year old and 4 year old. My husband works away Monday to Friday so I have to use my mum for help with school
runs. It works well as I’m home just as kids get home and I’m off in the holidays, I do work in the evenings sometimes and I’m studying too. It’s a lot but I’m so grateful for the holidays off with my children, and that I can be home to meet them as soon as they get in the door

30hrs over 4 days at the moment, then hope to do 30 over 5 when she starts school. I do 2 days WFH and 2 office days.

DH works shifts and only has Saturdays as a fixed day off so we get one guaranteed day together. He gets one Sunday off a month too. He is WFH though so I do see him when he is working (he works in financial crime for a bank).

When my eldest was 2YO, I had a new born baby! I worked part time evenings around DHs hours when baby was six months.

When DC went to school, I went back full time in a job with flexi-time. So I could do the school run, go into work and then we used a childminder for after school. My kids are a bit older now and I WFH in job that's flexible with hours. So I do about 40 hours a week.

I'd be trying to start work later in your shoes or look at a childminder for the school runs. My tip for getting out the house in the morning is do as much as you can the night before (so wash hair the night before etc). Then in the morning I only need a quick shower. I get up early to make sure I get myself ready before my kids are up. So then I can focus on them. My eldest is autistic so he's not as independent as I'd expected him to be by this age (I thought he would get himself up and dressed by now without me hounding him!). But mornings are a bit easier with a good routine in place.

I have a 6 and 8 year old and work 22 hrs per week (3days). However I largely manage my own time and am not based within a team office so if I run late it’s not an issue (unless I have an appointment) and I can make up hours elsewhere if I need to attend something at school/deal with children sickness etc.

I would struggle to do more hours as we have very little outside help and the options for school holiday childrcare in our small town are ….well there’s nothing. So while I might be able to manage more hours in term time I wouldn’t be able to do it over summer holidays.

I find the day off while kids are at school help with doing housework/shopping etc -‘d gives me someone alone time, which as an introverted person I always struggle if Ingot too long without a chunk of alone time.

28 hours over 4 days