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Original poster

Reference blunder?

46 replies

Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 21:31

Recently a friend asked me to be a referee for a new post she was going for (I was her manager a couple of years ago previously). I said I would, I had to fill a out a bit in relation to her sickness absence, so I contacted HR for the information and weeks went past without a reply. My friend's new organisation were really insistent the reference be sent over as it was the only pre-employment check which was outstanding, so I asked her to go through her calendar and send me every sick day which she did (8 days in total). She has since taken up post. Today HR finally sent over her sickness absence information and she has a total of 80 days sickness in 3 years! I feel like a complete fool, surely this is fraud and my 'friend' knew what she was asking me to do. I feel like I acted in good faith and now this could possibly fall back on me?

OP posts:
lisers · 18/08/2022 21:50

I don't understand how you could have been unaware of her terrible sickness record!

Original poster
Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 21:52

I was only her manager for a short time

OP posts:
Violettaa · 18/08/2022 21:52

I doubt it will come back to you. But 80 days is massive! I'm also puzzled how you didn't see this as a manager?

Original poster
Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 21:52

And I should add that it is a huge organisation of over 15000 people so I would have no awareness of this

OP posts:
m00rfarm · 18/08/2022 21:54

Have you said anything to her? Could it be a mistake - that is a huge amount of sickness!

Fupoffyagrasshole · 18/08/2022 21:55

Gawd I couldn’t get upset about this who’s actually going to check

amd in future just give the dates the person worked there if you don’t have the info or don’t wish to share it

that’s all you need to provide..

Original poster
Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 21:57

m00rfarm · 18/08/2022 21:54

Have you said anything to her? Could it be a mistake - that is a huge amount of sickness!

No I don't trust myself to say anything at the moment because I'm furious

It all kind of makes sense now because she was like a cat on a hot tin roof about this bloody reference now I know why

Thanks everyone for your reassurance, lessons learned and I'm probably over thinking

OP posts:
DeliberatelyObtuse · 18/08/2022 22:02

Blimey

80 days and she told you it was 8?

That's properly dishonest and really shitty of her

I really hope it doesn't come back to bite you on the bum if they subsequently say they employed her on the basis of your reference 🤞

Original poster
Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 22:05

@DeliberatelyObtuse I wholeheartedly agree

OP posts:
Gazelda · 18/08/2022 22:07

Are you sure that her new employer hasn't also asked your current employer for a reference? Did she put you as a contact instead of the HR dept?
If so, then I would be very angry and would have to tell her how she's mislead you and asked you to make a dishonest reference.
In future, always always forward reference requests to HR.

And I'm staggered that she wasn't under a capability investigation with that level of absence.

Original poster
Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 22:08

@Gazelda a very, very laid back organisation

OP posts:
KweenieBeanz · 18/08/2022 22:20

To be honest your mistake was in ever putting a number down for sickness absence without verifying it with HR first. If HR were taking ages you should just have put, unknown, please contact HR for this. You didn't know the answer yourself so shouldn't have put an answer in.
I know that's not any help now, but learn from it.
I'm surprised someone you know well enough to write a reference for, you weren't aware had taken 80 days sick leave. That suggests pretty significant/chronic ill health, would you not have even heard on the grapevine they were poorly?!

ObjectionHearsay · 18/08/2022 22:20

Meh I wouldn't worry, no ody is going to check anything.

But even if they did it's a simple typo isn't it 8 and 80 you just didn't hit the 0 key 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

But they will never check, I've given a few references over the years nobody has ever come back to me.

KweenieBeanz · 18/08/2022 22:21

ObjectionHearsay · 18/08/2022 22:20

Meh I wouldn't worry, no ody is going to check anything.

But even if they did it's a simple typo isn't it 8 and 80 you just didn't hit the 0 key 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

But they will never check, I've given a few references over the years nobody has ever come back to me.

Not as simple as that. Few people would be willing to write a reference for someone in that situation unless they were to be open about it in the reference.

WhereTheLightningBugsBlaze · 18/08/2022 22:30

Aren’t most references nowadays just job title and dates worked? I used to work in HR and the refs we got back for new employees were basically pointless. No real detail on there

SummerNightsDriftingAway · 18/08/2022 22:59

It will come back to bite HER on the bum if she carries on with a high sickness rate in her new job, as they'll undoubtedly be way less tolerant. So more fool her...

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 18/08/2022 23:34

I used to work with somebody who had an awful, awful attendance record

I think he had around forty days sick in one year. He asked me to give him a reference and there was a question about attendance etc.

At that point I decided not to give him a reference. I wasn't prepared to lie and he didn't want me to be honest

Sproutingpotatoes · 19/08/2022 00:12

You've done nothing wrong. You submitted what you thought was truthful information. And the thing is, if she's the type of person to take 3-4 weeks of sick leave a year (assuming she doesn't have a chronic illness) then she'll do it again in the new job too. Sooner or later, it'll catch up with her.

SarahDippity · 19/08/2022 00:15

I think you gave the reference in good faith, and you did not have access to official work records in a timely manner, so you went with the knowledge you had. Do you feel compelled to forward the HR record as an addendum?

Blanketpolicy · 19/08/2022 00:38

You have been very naive giving out an unvalidated company reference for someone you barely know professionally.

What is your company policy? I have seen people being disciplined before for giving out unauthourised company references.

Johnnysgirl · 19/08/2022 00:41

Why did you ask her for the details instead of waiting until HR confirmed it?
You really shouldn't have done that Hmm

Johnnysgirl · 19/08/2022 00:43

Thanks everyone for your reassurance, lessons learned and I'm probably over thinking
What exactly do you reckon you're overthinking? You didn't do enough thinking.

AhaLyn · 19/08/2022 20:01

If you barely managed her enough to know her outstanding sickness record then you css as not write a reference. Anyway, lesson learned. Hope it’s not public service such as NHS.

GiltEdges · 19/08/2022 20:15

Personally, I’d be inclined to contact the company again and apologise for your typo. You told them 8 days sickness and when what you’d meant to say is 80 days. Sorted. Any comeback on your friend is her own doing.

Original poster
Fairygarden1992 · 19/08/2022 20:24

GiltEdges · 19/08/2022 20:15

Personally, I’d be inclined to contact the company again and apologise for your typo. You told them 8 days sickness and when what you’d meant to say is 80 days. Sorted. Any comeback on your friend is her own doing.

Thank you for this, I am seriously considering it, she was happy to put my neck on the line

OP posts: