Building a career as a mum

[Xenacat]

So I'm a fairly new mum, before having my little one I focused only on my career, now I find my self debating whether I even want a career. Can I still work on my career without it affecting my relationship with my son? Will I be too old by the time I am able to progress in my career? I am a chronic overthinker and worrier, im hoping some of you mums have been here. How do you mums do it? How do I decide what I want?
Thanks in advance for any advice.

Who is supporting you if you don't have a career? What if that person buggers off?

I do work but only part time, even in this time I have mum guilt for leaving my son to work. My partner (sons dad) supports me working full time and would gladly swap but I'd still have mum guilt.

PT is good. So long as you keep your hand in, you can decide if and when you want to rev up your career. Keep your options open.

Parenting is a long game. Bear in mind, children's needs are not just their physical care, it is also setting financial goals like giving them a deposit or paying for university or tutors or private school fees if state schools do not meet their needs. Having a career buys you options for your dcs. You also are not stuck in any relationship just because you are financially screwed if you leave. I cannot relax unless I know I can always take my dcs with me and support them independently. It is a sense of freedom I would be very careful not to give up.

Personally my dcs need me more now that they are teenagers. When they were little, it was less of an issue who looked after them, so long as they were loved and secure. I have gas in the tank for them because I kept my hand in and went back to a ft career once they were in school.

I don't have mum guilt. I am doing the best for my dcs.

You said your a new Mum. How new? My feelings changed over time. By end of my maternity leave I was ready to work again,
And again now my children are bit older and finding their own lives. But my red line is wanting to be there to pick them up from school and be with them at the end of the day.

I personally don't think children do need you less as they grow older.. it's just a different need. With the current way of the world, the harsh reality of modern life, mental health etc I think they need parents more than even as their get older..

What personally do you mean by mum guilt?

As teenagers, emotionally, mine have needed me more. Sometimes they don’t realise they do. I’ve wfh since the pandemic. Whilst I’m not a huge fan personally, I can see my son really benefits from me just being here. He will ask for a hug out of the blue. Primary school and life is relatively easy and most children I know, not all, enjoy after school clubs, especially only children. Secondary school his harder emotionally for many.