Stress on work project unbearable

[Littlebird43]

I am working on a fixed term contract (18months) that I am half way through. The project was poorly planned, the targets unachievable and constantly shifted by the lead partner, the workload is huge (way beyond the hours I am employed for), the activities sometimes dangerous, the partners difficult to communicate with and several individuals have 'checked out' and are doing the bare minimum. I am the project manager but am inexperienced in a lot of the work required. No one is happy. I am at the point where I am in tears every day with anxiety through the roof and can't focus even to get simple things done.

I am employed by a very small organisation - no HR dept and the director is my manager. I work from home with no one else to talk to. I can't quit because we have applied for a fixed rate mortgage and I need to stay employed while this is finalised or we are financially f**d. Also I would find it very difficult to get future employment in my industry if I quit - this organisation is very influential in my industry across the region where I live.

I am not really sure what I am asking for - will I get through this one day at a time? Is this common for freelance project managers? Does anyone have any advice? My DH says I need to be more assertive but I just don't know where to start and feel everything has gone too far. Thank you

Hi there I’m feeling your pain. What’s the governance around the project ie is there a project board and sponsor that you regularly meet with to escalate risks and issues. Sounds like a review is required particularly if you can evidence the plan isn’t working and objectives will not be achieved. Difficult to give any more suggestions as I’m not sure what the project relates to.

Start by making a full and honest list of all the issues.

Then break it down into areas: 1. what you can change 2. what you need help with and 3. what is (seemingly) insurmountable.

Cross ref that against what is most vital / urgent. Then take each point, one by one and work on it. You'll feel so much better with a plan in place.

How are you getting on OP?
I came seeking some inspiration. I'm a lead in a project that sounds similar but without the external industry factors. I can get work very easily on my experience and likely won't add this role on my CV / LinkedIn.
I'm handing in my notice tomorrow. I worked through the mortgage piece like you. The role has been soul destroying and I'm at breaking point.
I hope things have improved for you. Pp advice above was good.

Can you not apply for another job so you are leaving with something to go into and that way you are still earning money?

Assume this is for the OP @CrabbitBastard I do have another role in place.

I've stuck it out and the safety issues are resolved which has reduced the stress. Also both DC at school helps rather than trying to work during summer hols. Counting down days to end of contact.
I am also looking at skillshare to do some more training on this kind of project management. Any recommendations greatfully recieved!

Hopefully you can tap into online PM communities of practice in your industry. Without knowing what it is I can't advise however the principles of project management are usually the same anywhere and the issues you called out (poor planning, lack of control resulting in scope change etc.) will always result in the problems you experienced.
At interview stage ask about project governance, available resource and how risks and issues are managed. Should give some insight before you start and influence whether you accept the role or not.