I can't get my life back on track and am totally floundering.

[Charlize43]

I'm 55. I was made redundant at the start of the pandemic (April 2020) but not due to Covid but because we had a change of management and my new boss kind of bullied me out of my job. It was a job I loved and I'd been there 20+ years and had put a lot of work in, so I left there in quite a bruised state with my self esteem destroyed.

I did three months in therapy (CBT) and then spent a period on anti-depressants. I took myself off them after about a year as they made me feel sedated and I found myself doing even less than I had been before.

I've been living very frugally off my redundancy money which could last me a few more years as I budget quite well.

I'd like to return to work, which I know I need to do so at some point, but feel so completely lost and directionless. I can't get motivated at all and I feel like my life is spirally out of control. It takes me ages to do job applications as I always procrastinate and think I'll apply tomorrow...

Obviously if you don't go out and spend all day sitting on your sofa reading or doing a bit of gardening then you don't spend much money. I feel too young to be 'retired' and I realise it's been two years since I have worked.

Does anyone have any advice they could give me on how to get back onto my feet?

I'm not in the same situation so my advice might not work for you, but I've found if I do something small every day work related I feel a massive sense of achievement.
For example, I've been doing some of the things from the earn £10 a day thread and that has helped me to regain some focus.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_money_matters/4602067-earn-ps10-a-day-august-2022?page=1

Or maybe a volunteer job a couple of days a week? Just to make you feel like you're working again. Then maybe the next step seems less daunting.

Good luck!

Well you need a goal of some sort. Once you've got that, you'll be able to figure out your next steps. Problem is, you've mentioned that there's little financial motivation. Would you consider getting a coach? I'd recommend reading how to do everything and be happy. It's a collection of strategies, and not all of them will apply to you, but it might make you think about what you really want out of life, and will help you figure out your next steps.