Tell me how you are your partner balance careers and childcare

[coralpig]

I’m fresh out of ideas on how to make this all work and would love to hear thoughts on getting the balance right.DH Is a junior doctor on a hideous rota. Our twins are coming up to 2 years old. They are in part time nursery where they are happy and settled. I’ve just stepped away from a job in a charity which was part time.
I trained as a teacher and had a good job before I had the twins but a series of mental health issues and personal circumstances led me to leave the term after I had them.
at the moment I am tutoring privately. I have a good reputation and mostly get work through word of mouth but my husband’s rota makes this incredibly difficult to schedule so it’s not really economically viable.

i am experiencing a big loss of identity and struggle to know what I want. I want to be there for my children, and wrap around childcare is so expensive anyway, but I also want to start rebuilding my career. I haven’t been a classroom teacher since before covid due to my pregnancy and conditions look awful. I’m considering looking to other sectors but the pay and school holidays are really appealing.

what do you do and how do you balance it? We have no local family support

I work full time in the NHS (static shifts though) and we have a primary aged disabled child. My husband used to be a full time teacher but we knew there was no way we could both focus on careers and our child with his needs.

We decided teaching was easier to get back into than my NHS role so DH gave up work and I stayed full time. He tutors but does a lot of LEA contracted work during school hours and then the odd bit online out of school hours or when I'm home. My work takes priority and he always works around me and he's fully in charge of school stuff. We split the house hold jobs equally. He never wants to go back to the classroom as he enjoys the freedom of tutoring. We have no family support either and DS has a lot of appointments.

When do little ones get the 30 hours funding these days? Could you ring fence that time for tutoring and then do online tutoring when they are in bed? Or consider part time teaching and source childcare?

I know two families where 1 parent is a junior doctor:

1- the wife became a sahm because her husbands schedule is too u predictable for her to work.
2- the wife who is the trainee dr has halted her studies to locum- as it allows her a higher income to pay for the childcare.

honestly with twins I think you either need a lot of family help or I would hold off returning to work until they start school- feels like a whole I’m sure but it does fly by.

Full time nanny/housekeeper. I work strictly 9-5.30 in a high earning, relatively intense job. DH works all hours 7 days a week in a super high earning job. We do 90% of the kids coordination between the nanny and me. No probs if kids off sick, nanny is here so no impact on our work.

DH in the Police, was a PC when we had the kids. I worked in social housing as a Housing Officer so spent most days out on the road.

We simply couldn't make it work, so I became a SAHM for 10 years.

DH is high up in rank now, but back on shifts. I work back in social housing but a desk job, although many long days. Thankfully my employer is super flexible so I can do school runs, or rope a friend in to help with them if needs be.

They get it term after they turn 3.

these responses are very helpful. Huge range here