Toxic boss.

[whatisforteamum]

I've known .y new boss for years.
He also recommended me for promotion. Which I was unsure about but he reassured me I could do it.
It gives him less workload too.
However he is micromanaging everyone really badly.
I check on colleagues yet his is too the extreme so much others are thinking of leaving.
I get nit picked on a daily basis so much so I suggested I get demoted.
This isn't what he or the others want.
I get messages on WhatsApp I've had to mute as I'm asleep.
He is so negative it is draining and because it is a hotel I have no escape as he lives there and drinks until close every single day until the customers leave.
So I see him at work and if he is off.
Sometimes he raises work stuff when he is drunk and I find it awkward.
I love the job and my colleagues.
He also dumps stuff onto me and gets a sick pleasure from telling me about challenges in the coming weeks.
I'm sure this is transference.
I usually just don't react much in the hope he will stop doing it.
Am I handling it the right way.?
I hope he will back off when he sees we can handle the workload.

I can't see how how are handling it? However it is, what you are saying is that its not working.

Get another job.

Get in touch with his boss!!! This is not acceptable behaviour. He’s awful and you shouldn’t have to handle it. He’s crass and unprofessional. So go above him and complain. Or leave.,

I spent more years than I care to remember working in hotels and had a fair few bosses like this one. The only way to escape unscathed is to either simply escape (quit or get transferred) or wait til he quits/is fired/transferred. Is it a chain or owner-operated? In my experience, owner-operated are the absolute worst to work for. They are understandably on it 24/7 and it's a very unhealthy lifestyle with loads of stress they tend to take out on their second in command.

It's horrible to have a workplaces this. Hope things improve for you, OP.

A quality chain.
Staff left recruiting is impossible and I can see he has good qualities yet now he is almost bullying having admitted to being a bully at school many decades ago.
I have told the boss and apparently someone unbeknown to me has told the boss his drinking and bad moods bring morale down.
Hopefully it is on the radar now.
Still I don't understand making my life a misery when he would be stuck if I left.
I agree hospitality is v little downtime and living in magnifies this.
I am coping with it by chilling on my days off and not asking him anything so he can't ask me when I'm off either.

Thank you powerclivemax.
Sorry you have experienced this.

Clivepowermax

I would never rely on a boss being stuck if you left, nobody is irreplaceable.

Concentrate on recording in writing all his behaviour so that when your time is right you have the evidence to report it upwards.

I do miss hospitality sometimes because i met loads of brilliant people from all over the world and had some great times but I burned out by my late 20s. Really hope your situation gets better very soon because it can be a great career.

look after yourself x

I would normally agree however 3 short for many many months no one wants to stay in the industry let alone apply.
Good idea about recording things though.
I had to do that once before then the person transferred.

Alisondoughnut

IPfrealy I agree.
I've done it for decades.
A miserable boss can bring the whole team down.
The hours are long so it has to be bearable.😁

He started to try to wind me up earlier. Dumping worry on to me.
I said you can either trust me or show me what I need to know.
Or let me go back to my previous role.
That took him back a bit.
I do feel like it is temporary and he will continue to drop shit on me at short notice just for the fun of it.
Some people get pleasure in being a dick.

Good for you. Hope he takes it on board. Do you have formal performance reviews?

Not in years. We are too short staffed. And he probably doesn't know how to do them yet.!

Oh mate 😬You deserve so much better!

I probably do tbh.

100%!

Well there have been some improvements.
My boss can't enter the workplace drunk so no interaction after hours.
And he is slightly less controlling.
Managers actually listened to staff concerns.
Meanwhile about to be painfully short staffed again.

I'm pleased things are looking a bit better, but it still sounds like a stressful workplace so I really feel for you! Imagine having to be told not to enter the workplace drunk. People really don't know how rife alcohol/substance issues are in hospitality and how common it is for big bosses to step in on the one hand and enable on the other. I feel for the guy but it's not fair for staff to take the brunt.