Worried about pregnancy should I just get signed off for now?

[Scorpio8]

I am feel so under pressure already as I really feel something wrong with my pregnancy. Trying not to think about it but today it's got to me.

I have had a lot of time of due to my Fibromyalgia then from stress of this pregnancy. Then last week went back after a week of Covid.

I work in retail and last week my till was down and we do have a dodgy team member she does steal from the till but did put it down to a customer confusing me. Normally I am spot on with my till. So that annoyed me.

Then today I feel quite low thinking of this pregnancy and frustrated because I got to get private scan because 12 wks is 24 August. Its been a few weeks since 8 felt something was wrong but not been taken seriously because no bleeding.

So the assistant manager posted on work group chat that they need someone to cover today. I honestly haven't responded my manager posted this is getting a real issue and he putting us on rotation for Sunday. Now I am feel unwell not completely better from covid. I spent time with my OH this week and yesterday was busy so shattered but suffering today because of my legs hurting.

At the point I feel like just being signed of until I get a scan done. I can think straight although work does take my mind of it. I am not sleeping with my back hurting and legs. I have to get up to sit up straight. It's a struggle already they know my health condition. Plus my manager knows about my pregnancy just feel annoyed I should not be under so much pressure right now.

Any advice please

If you can afford to be signed off then by all means do it. Why wouldn't you?

I'll be honest - I think you are probably blaming the employer for stuff that is perfectly reasonable. They are, after all, an employer, and all they really want is the work being done. So perhaps cut them some slack?

But that's very different from the fact that you are anxious and worried and not 100%. It's perfectly ok to admit that and go off sick.

I guess your worry is the amount of time you have had off as well? They can't count pregnancy related sickness really, but obviously large amounts of time off sick aren't probably going to make you a poster girl - go back to that whole thing about it's an employer and all the want is the job done. But if you need time off and that is the right thing for you, do it.

Looks like you’ll be off for your whole pregnancy then if you can’t hack it now.

@Jalisco
At the moment while I need my job it's not my priority and really don't care no more. I do my 3 days and don't work everyday.
If I have to I will go my doctors to get a doctors having my hours restricted to 3 days. In fact my manager gives me 2 days extra which I am grateful but won't do more. Not just because of pregnancy stress but because of my health conditions.
I just don't need extra pressure.
@drpet49
Only until I get the scan done. I won't have extra pressure at work. My health my priority.
Which sometimes I think is forgotten when I go in as I meant to have extra breaks. Which from tommorow I will making sure I get even if I am so very little hours. I have lost a baby before so if I am on and off through pregnancy really don't care.
I just won't even have this added pressure and I know it's important to my managers but for me it's not my problem. They still need to do a risk assessment again that needs to done but work related will just not listen too. My well being is my concern even before the pregnancy thought this. I told my manager I was thinking of leaving because retail not for no more.
Because standing on my feet just too much for me.

That's why I asked if I should just sign off until after the scan which will have to do privately. Plus sort my other health issues out.

It’s probably best to just leave to be honest.

Can't you get a private scan for asap to put your mind at ease?

You should leave. It's not your managers / businesses fault that you can't get a scan just yet. I have managed people like you and they are drains on businesses.

I get that you are a bit worried but honestly this post just comes across as excuses and laziness. How will you afford this private scan with no money coming on? How will you afford a baby with no money coming in? Part off being a parent is being responsible and this could ruin your cv and future prospects as well. I can't even begin to describe how shit it is living in the poverty line with a baby that grows week and non stop rising fuel costs. You would be BONKERS to risk your job for a pregnancy that's only 8-10 weeks.

Thing is, once you have your 12 week scan, are your anxieties really going to be over? I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of weeks after your scan the anxieties start up again. Hormones can do crazy things to you - I think you'd be better off speaking to your midwife about your anxiety and see if you can manage it, rather than defaulting to stopping work (although stopping for a bit might be part of managing it, but you can't use it as a cure all)

Op you say you need your job but then say it’s not a priority? Do you need it?

Speaking as someone that’s struggled with anxiety and a long term health condition that affects me I think you sound really worked up and anxious more than anything.

Do you have support managing the fibromyalgia? Are you working part time permanently due to the fibromyalgia? I think it’s best to separate all the issues out. Also, is your line manager/manager understanding? I get how hard it is juggling a long term health condition with work and the rest of life. It can be a job in itself!

But if you need the job it’s best to figure out a plan before you get further in to the pregnancy,

I'm a bit confused. It's totally reasonable if you are contracted 3 days to say you can't take on overtime at the moment, given pregnancy, recovery from covid and underlying issues. But it doesn't sound like you have specifically told your manager that and if you usually want the extra overtime they probably think they are being helpful as most people at this point would want extra money coming in whilst they can.
So isn't it just a case of saying 'thanks for the overtime offer but I'm just not up to it at the moment'? I don't understand what all the drama is about?
Also I don't think a scan is going to be the magic solution you think it is. You'll just worry until the next one after that. Things will also get harder throughout your pregnancy, especially in terms of pain, joints, muscles etc so if you get signed off now will you really be going back? Can you afford that?

@HSKAT

I hope that I can get a private scan soon

If my worst fears are true then have to take more time off.

I am probably a little harsh because of stress of pregnancy but at work don't even think about the Pregnancy as no one knows at the moment. So I put that aside get on with my job which I am good at.
I just think until after my scan what happens at work I won't stress myself out too much. I also have a co-worker that's a complete nightmare honestly she stresses about everything at work but again at the moment will ignore probably be a bit blunt with her.
Saying that manager is good but he had health problems but because he gone in and worked doesn't mean I need to add that pressure. As long as I do my 3 days they can call for cover but I can't do it. For me it's a struggle. Chances are I will go on maternity leave and not return to work although was hoping too. But don't think because my health I can't.
I been thinking of this for ages now. I kind of know what to do.

You seem to be projecting your anxieties onto your employer. Early pregnancy is tiring but that doesn't mean that the whole world stops. If you are so financially comfortable that you don't need a job then resign. However I don't see a dr giving a sick note that says you can only work three days a week due to being pregnant!

I'm very confused. You went off with stress due to pregnancy but your work don't know your pregnant. You want a doctors note to say you can only do your contacted 3 days and no overtime 🤷‍♀️

@BackOnTheBandWagon
That's what I am going to do after the scan.
My midwife is very understanding though but think these days you having to bleeding to be a real concern.
Think I have calmed a bit about work but just won't stress myself out too much.

No I was signed off with stress but I have been in the doctors and got my hours reduced. My manager doesn't give me many hours but now again he tries to help by giving me more but I can't do more than 3 days. I am restricted and it's not because of the pregnancy. Even if I wasn't pregnancy I would be thinking of the same thing. Most people with fibromyalgia get signed off work completely which my manager knows I struggle with that anyway.
I think they know I can't do overtime. I probably just overreacted to feeling pressured to go in. I won't my health does come first.
I can only try and that's what I do.

@Mamansparkles
The pregnancy is not only the issue it's also my other health conditions. At the moment even though worried not sure what's going to happen. Once scan done and yest maybe my mind won't rest and for me it would be understandable because of having a stillbirth previously. Obviously going to try and work but if I need to be signed off I will. My Fibromyalgia bad at the moment again but trying to ignore that. I am not someone who like just sitting at home. I do too much and get told to rest. I know when my body had enough.
Money is what I need but 3 days is enough and I am part time sometimes they ask if I can stay extra hour I do. But I really can't keep doing it.
That's why I said before finding out I am pregnant to my manager that retail not for me. If I say I need to speak to him be like don't say your leaving. He doesn't want me to leave in a way thinking what best for me and the job. I can't keep taking time of anyway. The pregnancy just added on my health conditions stress.
Thanks for your reply

If your able to work your contacted hours then do so .
If your offers overtime just say "no " .
If your to sick to work get a sick note .
Maybe pay for a private scan if it will put your mind at rest .

@AhaLyn

I am getting pain management for my Fibromyalgia but need to know what I can take while pregnant. I probably need to go to my doctor or speak to midwife. But first need the scan too. Once I know everything okay go from there.
I am very anxious and getting therapy for that.
I am having lack of sleep due to pain in my legs and I only been back a week. I don't want to just stop working but at the same time if I do 3 days it's enough.
At least I am in some form of work. I just feel pressured to do overtime which I won't have they know the score. Like I said I do odd extra hour. But won't be killing myself to help all the time.
I could just sign off which I have every right to do but I won't because I do like my job. Standing just too much and went back ill and next day tested positive so really I forced myself in.
I think each day I force myself in and this is nothing to do with the pregnancy. I think I try not think of that no one knows other than my manager, partner and couple of friends.
I can't afford to just leave like that. I decided before I was pregnant that I would look for another job less stressful but then decided I will have to stay and leave when I go on maternity leave.

@whowhatwerewhy

My contract hours is actually 1 day but grateful for the extra 2 days.
I just struggle anyway. I do my best to go in and my work has no air conditioning too.
Thanks for advice

I think you sound quite frazzled @Scorpio8 do you have family and friends to support you?

@AhaLyn
Family don't know about the pregnancy. It's not just nothing I had a bad cramp on right side but EPU are rubbish with the you need to be bleeding to be scanned probably seem to forgot women have gone for scans and no been bleeding.
With work I will plod along at the moment no one knows it's the case of suffer in silence until private scan. Probably just forget about the pregnancy but if I need to be signed of with health issues which can't be helped will do.
If all okay haven't got long until I go maternity leave.
I think managers can only do so much and accommodating to my situation. That's when I still as much as I love my job got to put myself first with my health do my hours and refuse more. It's just because of the pregnancy although the worry I have shouldn't be dismissed.
On a whole don't need extra pressure from work to do overtime if they need cover it's a no from me unless I feel well in myself..I force myself in all the time feeling ill. Like they say don't kill yourself for job that can easily replace you tommorow.
There's a line being drawn now and won't go over. Another thing being short staffed is not my problem I don't care.
I would help if I could but my legs are like nope not today. Even the day I am scheduled on have to force myself in which I do. Like I did will take breaks when needed. My pregnancy problems are not their problems and their staffing shortage also not my problems as long as I do my hours we good.

@AhaLyn I mean no bleeding when they found no heartbeat.