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Support for bereavement

2 replies

welshrainbow1 · 05/08/2022 14:57

Hi... sorry this is long winded!

I run a small family business and we employ a chap who has worked for us for 6 years and he's always been great. Unfortunately he lost his partner 2 years ago and since then, he's struggled to come to terms with the loss. With being a small company, we are a close team and we check in with him daily and we've tried to support him as best we can.

He has friends and family, who have also been a good support but they seem to have distanced themselves from him recently. He goes to bereavement counselling and he's been advised to join a bereavement group but he feels it's not for him. We've also tried to encourage this and to speak to his GP but he seems afraid to do anything that could help him move forward.

He delivers training courses for us and I've had quite a few complaints lately, he's been described as snappy and passively aggressive, with some saying he's destroyed their confidence. I've even had people quit the course, saying that it's not for them, we've never had any issues like this before! Colleagues have also raised concerns saying that he's becoming difficult to work with, he's very negative and can be hard to be around, we've all noticed the change in him.

We're all sympathetic to his situation and we've excused things due to this, hoping that giving him time and support would help. More recently I've had a few friendly chats with him regarding the complaints but he seems bemused and feels it's just awkward customers (it's not). I've encouraged him to be more positive with customers and to speak up if he's feeling overwhelmed but things just seem to be getting worse.

We've worked hard over the years and we have a good reputation, recently I know we've lost work due to his behavior. I don't want to take his job away from him but I feel that the role he is currently doing is no longer suitable for him. I can offer him a less pressured part time role but I know he'll be reluctant to give up his full time position.

Has anybody been in this situation and how did you navigate it?

OP posts:
WinnysPinny · 05/08/2022 15:38

2 years seems like a long time not to have come to terms with the loss. Maybe he is in a cycle of liking the attention he’s been getting because of what he’s been through.
there is only so much you can do if he doesn’t change then I wouldn’t be employing him for much longer

welshrainbow1 · 08/08/2022 10:47

Thanks! You're right he has got into a cycle, almost like he's punishing himself. It's very sad, he's such a nice guy otherwise but I can't allow this to continue and I don't know how else to help him.

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