Page 2 | Give Me excuses to take time off work

curlyhairedd · 2022-08-04T21:18:06+00:00

I've had 2 previous miscarriages and now 11 weeks pregnant for this first time. I'm constantly anxious and unable to enjoy my pregnancy for this reason I NEED a good excuse to force my work to allow me to work from home I previously used to work from home until we had a new manager that's just being difficult. My job can be done fully remotely and there's absolutely no reason for me to go into the office everyday but this is the expectation now. I just need a good reason to give them to allow me to work from my bed for the next month or so? Give me your best excuses

silverclock222 · 05/08/2022 08:19

Why don't you just take sick leave?.

SaltandPepper22 · 05/08/2022 08:22

Unless you have been medically advised bedrest, then I can’t see how staying in bed is going to be of any benefit to you or your pregnancy. In fact I would say that indulging your request to WFH (or bed as you say) is actually just going to feed into your miscarriage anxiety. Going about normal daily activities does not cause miscarriage and in a large number of cases, if a miscarriage is going to happen, it’s going to happen regardless of what you do.

I’m really sorry you went through miscarriage and sorry you are experiencing such high anxiety around another one however do you not feel it might be better to seek some support for your anxiety (eg. Counselling) and try to go about your normal activities?

If you start working from bed then what’s next for the next 9 months? Will you not do anything or see anyone at all?

RagingWoke · 05/08/2022 08:32

You can ask to wfh but they don't have to agree. Would splitting the week be a compromise you'd agree to?

Staying active is really good for you and baby during your pregnancy though and taking to bed for months on end won't help you physically or mentally. Are you getting any help for your anxiety?

summerlovinvibes · 05/08/2022 08:36

@curlyhairedd , sorry if this is asking the obvious, but if you don't feel well enough (either mentally or physically) to go into work, then why don't you just go off sick? I think your opening post of saying time off and then later saying that you just want t to stay in bed suggests that not a lot of work will be going on, so rather than insulting your employer by lying, just say you're not fit to work right now? If you have significant anxiety issues around previous miscarriage, then I think it sounds like you need to get yourself some help around this.

I think that is the fairest thing for you and and your employer.

Motnight · 05/08/2022 08:41

Your language is really telling, Op 😉 Taking time off, staying in bed!

I wish you all the best but you really need to frame any requests you make to work from home to your employer in a different way. Or take paid annual leave or ask for unpaid leave.

sweetlebeetle11 · 05/08/2022 08:44

I don't see why your boss would mind you taking time off n your situation provided you can actually work but I would be honest with them. You can't pretend to have covid/D&V / etc for mths so your best being honest incase you need longer.

prepared101 · 05/08/2022 09:00

It's clear from your responses that you don't actually want to work from home therefore you should just be signed off if you are not able to work.

I know you've had losses and this must feel scary but pregnancy lasts a long time and there's almost no increased risk in going to work - particularly if you work in an office. Please don't use your pregnancy to shirk off for the next 6 months- women have fought hard to be treated as equals in the workplace and that sort of thing undermines everything.

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 09:32

There's a real lack of understanding or empathy being demonstrated here for OP. Can you actually imagine how frightened and worried she will be for this baby?
I work from home and in the office (my company operate a hybrid approach) and without doubt the days wfh are tons easier!
Can't get up later, no rushing to do make up and hair, no driving / traveling. Can use own bathroom, can work more comfortably. At the end of the shift I'm already at home, no travel, no traffic jams. Can pop the oven on during an afternoon break and get dinner on the go.. it's pretty obvious that wfh would be a lot better for OP's mental health and physical well-being !

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 09:37

In addition to the above these a far reduced risk of catching Covid and colds when wfh.
Costs less in travel / petrol
Cost less in coffees / lunch
And actually I believe I work harder and faster at home with less distractions and in the knowledge I don't have to travel, fight to get home at the end of the day

Hiphopopotamus · 05/08/2022 09:39

I’m currently pregnant and temporarily working from home full time because of extreme morning sickness. While I’m just about ok to log on and work (yes, sometimes from bed!!) I’m not ok to get up, look smart and presentable and commute into the office (where I’d be running back and forth to public loos all day)

I’m still working and being productive and doing a decent job, but my GP was happy to give me a fit note stating that I need to WFH and my work is happy to accommodate. If that’s what the OP needs to keep everything going and it won’t impact her job it seems like a no brainer.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/08/2022 09:40

Why do you need 'an excuse'?

Shoddy.

Ask your GP for a fit note for the same reasons you explained in your original post.

Jalisco · 05/08/2022 12:36

ouch321 · 05/08/2022 08:11

Think this is out of order.

You yourself said 'take time off' and later said 'stay in bed'.

It's not exactly a big jump that you'd be pretending to work.

And she is correct you would be lying by making up some crap just so you don't have to commute in. Either tell them honestly and see if they'll take pity on you or go in as normal.

Show quote history

Quite. I said no such thing, and this tirade is uncalled for. I never said that my trauma was worse than hers or anyone else's - I commented on people who were advising her to lie about illness including a bad back. Funny how advising people to lie doesn't get a tirade, or a deleted post, but telling the truth does. The OP is the one who said she wanted to work at home from her bed. This is unhealthy and it is wrong. If the OP is sick then they should sign off sick. If they are not then they can attend work. It is that simple. Trauma doesn't come into it - one is too sick to work or one is not. I wasn't the one asking for "excuses" to not go to work or to work from my bed.

TastesLikeStrawberries · 05/08/2022 12:41

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 09:32

There's a real lack of understanding or empathy being demonstrated here for OP. Can you actually imagine how frightened and worried she will be for this baby?
I work from home and in the office (my company operate a hybrid approach) and without doubt the days wfh are tons easier!
Can't get up later, no rushing to do make up and hair, no driving / traveling. Can use own bathroom, can work more comfortably. At the end of the shift I'm already at home, no travel, no traffic jams. Can pop the oven on during an afternoon break and get dinner on the go.. it's pretty obvious that wfh would be a lot better for OP's mental health and physical well-being !

What about all the women in this situation who are unable to work from home? Pregnancy is worrying but if every woman decided they wanted to WFH or take time off how would any business run properly. I bled throughout my pregnancy and worked to 37 weeks. I physically couldn't afford not to work.

BecauseICan22 · 05/08/2022 12:45

You are pregnant not ill.

Be reasonable in your assessment of your situation and get some mental health support.

If you're employed to work from the office, that's where you need to be.

I say that as someone who's had 3 miscarriages this year alone and 7 miscarriages in total over the last 15 years.

Being sneaky won't serve any purposes.

Crocky · 05/08/2022 12:52

BecauseICan22 · 05/08/2022 12:45

You are pregnant not ill.

Be reasonable in your assessment of your situation and get some mental health support.

If you're employed to work from the office, that's where you need to be.

I say that as someone who's had 3 miscarriages this year alone and 7 miscarriages in total over the last 15 years.

Being sneaky won't serve any purposes.

I agree with this. I have had a miscarriage and wouldn’t have thought about not attending work in the following pregnancy.

If you are unwell then speak to your gp.

JemimaPuddleducksWaddle · 05/08/2022 12:55

There's a real lack of understanding or empathy being demonstrated here for OP. Can you actually imagine how frightened and worried she will be for this baby?

There will be people on this thread that have had miscarriages and like me a gorgeous DD born sleeping.

OP should be more aware of her wording if she wants different answers. Lying to her employer etc is a slippy slope and shs will rightly get caught out.

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 19:03

Some people are so sanctimonious.. it's exhausting. OP isn't trying to get anything for free, doesn't seem to want to sign off sick and not work.. all she wants is the strength and the moral support to face her employer and reasonably request the opportunity to temporarily work from home - something that was previously championed and I imagine during covid was actively enforced.
Women need flexibility for their obstetric needs, end of. And in my opinion menopausal women and those suffering with any gynaecological complications also.
Hooray for you if you were able to bounce back into the office no question after a loss. But why put down another woman who isn't feeling so bouncy?
If the quality or quantity of OPs work was affected then sure it needs discussing but if not (or if she's more productive) then it's a win win. It's just that simple.

Original poster

curlyhairedd · 05/08/2022 20:38

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 19:03

Some people are so sanctimonious.. it's exhausting. OP isn't trying to get anything for free, doesn't seem to want to sign off sick and not work.. all she wants is the strength and the moral support to face her employer and reasonably request the opportunity to temporarily work from home - something that was previously championed and I imagine during covid was actively enforced.
Women need flexibility for their obstetric needs, end of. And in my opinion menopausal women and those suffering with any gynaecological complications also.
Hooray for you if you were able to bounce back into the office no question after a loss. But why put down another woman who isn't feeling so bouncy?
If the quality or quantity of OPs work was affected then sure it needs discussing but if not (or if she's more productive) then it's a win win. It's just that simple.

Thank you for this. Was really upset that many on here are not understanding and seem to think I'm trying to fob work off

OP posts:

PseudonymPolly · 05/08/2022 20:42

Just tell them you're vomiting twice an hour and you're worried about being unable to make the commute or making a mess in the office.

If WFH is possible, i can't see any half way reasonable employer declining your request.

Lopar · 05/08/2022 21:08

It's all very well people believing they work more effectively from home, but it's often not the case. And as for there being 'absolutely no reason' why you can't - they've told you that they want you in. There's your reason.

Either you're ill and so off sick or you're fine and need to go to work as directed. There's no medical reason for you not to drive or sit at a desk, as it's clear you don't have any of the issues people are suggesting would warrant reasonable adjustments.

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 21:17

Lopar · 05/08/2022 21:08

It's all very well people believing they work more effectively from home, but it's often not the case. And as for there being 'absolutely no reason' why you can't - they've told you that they want you in. There's your reason.

Either you're ill and so off sick or you're fine and need to go to work as directed. There's no medical reason for you not to drive or sit at a desk, as it's clear you don't have any of the issues people are suggesting would warrant reasonable adjustments.

Can I ask.. are you a team leader or in a managerial position?

Here's the thing - the employer should be monitoring the productivity of an employee regularly and know that the employee is working well. Regular reviews, stats, reporting, coaching and training, upskilling if required. It's not as black and white as you're making it out to be. Having a human touch makes a great manager

RagingWoke · 05/08/2022 21:21

Lopar · 05/08/2022 21:08

It's all very well people believing they work more effectively from home, but it's often not the case. And as for there being 'absolutely no reason' why you can't - they've told you that they want you in. There's your reason.

Either you're ill and so off sick or you're fine and need to go to work as directed. There's no medical reason for you not to drive or sit at a desk, as it's clear you don't have any of the issues people are suggesting would warrant reasonable adjustments.

'Often' is a sweeping generalisation. Some people take the piss wfh, but that's not the case for the majority of homeworkers. You only see the piss takers in the media though, or posts like this with a poor choice of words.

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 21:25

Exactly ragingwoke. And if your employee is taking the piss while working at home then deal with it. Prove it and begin proceedings. Assumptions and generalisations are so damn ignorant

sweetnoodle · 05/08/2022 21:26

Although to confirm I have no issue with OP's wording

Nat6999 · 05/08/2022 21:34

Find out if anyone else who is pregnant is WFH, then you would have a case for discrimination.