BCC - Passive Aggressive Bullying or Justified?

[Dreamwhisper]

I've been in a role alongside a team member where for a long while now I have felt severely demoralised and demotivated to to this other colleague's behaviour.

I've never really said anything as everything seems to be, at least on the surface, a plausible thing for colleague to do or say, for the most part. However I feel this person displays a lot of passive aggressive or underhanded behaviour toward me. They also talk to me extensively about our direct line manager and points out things she has done to them, which makes me aware that some of the stuff they do to me is deliberate, if that makes sense?

I have technically started a new role but am still helping out in this colleague's team. We have both had clarity last week that my help would go ahead for now and I would continue looking after my current work load.

Today while doing work for new role, I got an email from colleague advising they had picked up one of my emails, can see something has not gone ahead due to an error on my part, and has sent screenshots showing my error, and advised if I want them to action what needs to be done (which is simple and not complicated to fix) to let them know.

What they don't realise is because they sent it from our shared mailbox I can see that they have copied in both our direct line manager and their new manager.

I feel really really hurt and frustrated. First off because it had already been re clarified that I would still be responsible for this area of the work so I didn't need them to pick up this email in the first place. There is another email for the same work load that they have not answered - so clearly they have looked through both, spotted an error on one and gone forward with that so that can send that email.

And secondly, because blind copying in people seems very underhanded. If you really felt this should have been brought to the attention of the managers, why wouldn't you copy them in so I can include them in my reply and solution?

In your experience, is there any consideration in work places for this kind of behaviour to be considered, if not bullying, at least unfair and not above board?

Sorry the first part of my post is so vague, but I don't want to go into detail. It's really hard and long winded to explain.

I'm sorry but it is so vague that it's nigh impossible to fathom whether the colleague is being fair / bullying or not. So I think I would have to go with I doubt it is bullying, but if it were, you complaining about it will only draw more attention to the fact that you made a mistake and it was your colleague who picked it up. That would reflect poorly on you, and she could even counter - quite credibly - that your complaint was motivated by bullying her because you didn't like the fact that she pulled you up on a mistake.

And "unfair" or "not above board" are things that don't belong in workplace language - life isn't fair, and especially not at work! You can't complain about things like that - it would make you sound like a school kid. And history is history - if you didn't bring up stuff at the time then it looks even more like a playground spat if you now start listing all the things you say they did previously (but never did anything about at the time).

If I were comment at all, I would be wondering how you can effectively do a completely new role and that workload whilst simultaneously doing your old job as well. That is what strikes me as "wrong" here, and that is down to the employer. You have a new job - how they cover your former workload is their problem, not yours. So if you really wanted to throw a cat amongst the pigeons, then perhaps going to your managers (and running with the idea that you haven't seen the bcc )and "admitting" to the mistake, but saying that you are concerned that the arrangement where you do the work of two roles is the cause as it is throwing your concentration etc., etc. so you think that they need to make other arrangements for the old workload. You might even suggest that your former colleague is more than capable of taking it on....

But I don't care that they copied the managers in, I care that they blind copied the managers in.

I do think you're right though that unless I were to spill all details and right down every single thing that has happened since working in that team, the context isn't there and I won't get understanding advice from this thread.

I don't agree with the "life isn't fair, get on with it" mentality though. Everyone has the capacity to treat people with a base level of respect. I'm not asking for special treatment or even fairness, I'm saying that the abuse of features like bcc should be at least considered. I've worked in an office environment for 9 years and never once used that function to covertly email people behind without someone else's knowledge.

I also don't agree that you can't speak out about past poor treatment, bullying or abuse. People have the capability of understanding why someone might not have been forthcoming with negative feedback in certain situations.

I was pregnant when I started my new role and needed to pass probation. I like the work and the company so put up with a lot of stuff to secure my own job in my vulnerable position. It also takes a while for patterns of behaviour to become apparent. I'm sure it's the fault of my post but the response I received here doesn't feel like it fits my situation very well.

It isn’t really clear what you are actually asking, “is it unfair or above board” doesn’t really have any meaning in employment law. You are too vague on most of your situation to really comment, but regarding the blind cc, trust me that reflects worse on the person that sent it than it does on you. In my professional life in management if somebody bcc’d me on something like that, I would think the person sending it is sneaky and pathetic.

I would utilise the fact that she’s copied them in to your advantage. Reply to her saying something like ‘thanks for bringing this to my attention, I will take it from here. I’m unclear as to why you’ve picked this up as it is within my designated remit, not yours. Perhaps we can all sit down (including x and y since they are bcc’d in your email) and clarify, once again, who is responsible for what under the new arrangements. Would that be helpful?

Fine. Complain.

How do you know that she didn't speak directly to the managers and they asked her to copy them in?

You can go to the managers, and you can make allegations about years of problems with this colleague that you've never, ever, mentioned previously. And for which you probably have no evidence. BCC is there as a function, so there is no "abuse".

And I never said you can't speak out. I said that there is a very good chance it will be worse on you. You did make the mistake. You never reported previous "bullying". And bcc isn't bullying.

I could say more, but I won't. You want someone to tell you that you should complain, drag up history you've never mentioned before, and accuse a colleague of bullying over something that might be impolite but isn't bullying. This could bounce back on you badly. But go for it if it matters that much to you. Just take responsibility if it goes wrong. You asked for advice, but what you meant was advice you agreed with. Personally, I couldn't be arsed with the energy it would take up to manage a situation with a former colleague I never once previously complained about, and if I'd actually made a mistake, I wouldn't draw more attention to it. But you go for it.

As a person in a senior position I always find an email that's BCCd interesting and annoying. It's usually about something really petty, it usually means there's a personality clash going on and it usually means that someone's about to make a complaint.

It's a stupid way to communicate something to me because if they've BCCd me in then they obviously don't want it to be known that I know so what exactly am I supposed to do about that. If I reply then I out the person who sneakily sent it to me, if I contact the person who sent it to me then I only get their side of events unless they're willing to step forwards.

That's what I'm on about more than employment law/legal/HR policy perspective. Like you said, it can be considered sneaky and pathetic. I'm more approaching this from an office etiquette/working relationship standpoint.

I have gone ahead and raised it for similar reasons stated above - I pointed out that we'd already raised and clarified work load, and how it feels undermining/malicious. I have a meeting to discuss it.

Like I said to the poster who is being kind of weirdly aggressive in their response, there is a context that would make things look very different. I am not the only person negatively effected by this colleague either. And yes, I did put in my email that if managers have asked colleague to do this, I'd still like to point out that the bcc feature, if discovered, is very demoralising.

Hopefully it will all work out and I will be able to get some distance from this situation as my new role picks up.

Exactly!!

And, as is evident from my situation, if a BCC is discovered it opens a huge can of worms and causes major upset.

I would reply, copying the managers visibly in and saying something like
"I'm keen for total transparency around this/my workload so copying x and y in so they are aware of my decision making"
Or something similar