Resignation email about bully. Give me courage?

[AYellowSubmarine]

I have written, and I am about to send, a resignation email about the bullying I have experienced while working for my current company.

It is written. I only have to give 1 weeks notice and I have three weeks holiday pay outstanding. So I can leave today.

Finding another job will be easy, I regularly turn offers down. I have tried to complain but people are on holiday so often that I cannot continue and wait for the right person in HR (nobody is sure who this is!) to be around.

As I said, the email is written, I will be paid, I have substantiated my claims.

Please tell me that I am doing the right thing?

I honestly wouldn't. You can't drop a grenade and then run from it.

I'm assuming you'll need a reference from them?

Don't. Just say that you will be giving X weeks notice & will leave on X date. Anything else is superfluous & will be ignored.

I also agree. Either stand up for yourself, and fight, or walking away. There is no credibility in your allegations if you do nothing about it whilst working for the company. But they can still damage you. Either fight or walk - there isn't a half way.

Yes what’s the point if you’re leaving anyway?

What is the point if you are leaving? They won't do anything.

Just keep it to the notice period, you using your leave and send it.

Will they do an exit interview? You could mention it then, nothing to be gained by putting it in the email.

I have tried to do plenty about it while working for the company.
Specifically, I have sent copies of emails the bully has written me and they are obviously offensive.

What I cannot do is find anyone to have a conversation about it.
I have tried.

So, rather than dropping the grenade, then leaving, I have dropped the grenade, no-one has addressed my concerns with me.

And no, I don't need a reference.

If you don’t need a reference absolutely do it! Bullies are scum and I hope they are investigated

Do it.

I did it. Absolutely nothing happened.

Many many complaints about the same person from different people but nothing happened.
I named the person in my resignation letter.

In the exit interview I again named them and specifically said I was leaving because of them.
Nothing happened.

They have been in touch twice asking me to consider taking my old job back. I said no, I will not work with a cunt.
That bully is a cunt.

Given the circumstances you describe I think you lose nothing by putting the situation in black and white.

Don't be emotive in describing events, be very factual but do describe the harm it's caused you and the refusal of the company to address the issue.

If the bullying relates to any protected characteristic you may have, mention that.

Do it

so long as it is factual, do it

They will do nothing - they don’t need to, you're leaving so any issue is ‘solved’. Therefore, protect yourself by sending a factual email only.

However, if they then ask for any feedback on why you are leaving, you could tell them.

As you don't need a reference I would do it. It may well change nothing but at least you will know you did your best to alert management to what has been going on. It may benefit someone else at some point, you never know.

I look back at some of the rubbish I put up with in my working life and regret I didn't raise a grievance at the time.

Well if nobody took any notice of you whilst you were there, then why would anyone take any notice at a parting email. You never know when you may need a reference, I honestly think you have nothing to gain by sending other than a standard resignation letter.

From the tone of your messages, I'm assuming that you have resigned already? Best for you going forward OP x

Agree with PP. Just give your notice. You might be asked to give an exit interview or survey, you can do that honestly if you want to but keep this short and to the point.

If it’s easy to get a new job, do that then leave. Don’t let the bully win by walking with no job to go to.

Stay and raise a grievance - they won't give a shit if you leave but they will if you make a fuss. Hopefully you're in a union and they will support you.

Well I didn't send the email.

I do have another job to go to (I'm in a shortage industry).

I'm on 3 weeks holiday now, this is my notice period. I don't have to go back. I'm still quite stressed, because that's the thing about being bullied, it takes it's toll.

The final straw for me was the bullying boss calling me last Thursday and screaming down the phone at me, calling me an idiot and lazy etc, etc.

While they were still shouting at me I forwarded them the email that they had sent me instructing me to do things that way. My email reply had been that I thought that it would be more productive to do it another way.

When they finally stopped ranting I told them to look in their inbox and read the email thread. They did, when they realised that they were wrong they put the phone down on me! No apology or anything.

I'm respected in my industry, have contributed to civil service think tanks, which led to industry changes.

DH woke up this morning and said let's have a proper holiday. It wasn't until he said that I realised how stressed I really have been. When I was talking with DH about it this morning I started shaking, I'm still shaking.

It's all so stupid, I'm no shrinking violet. You wouldn't assume that I could be pushed around and yet, here we are.

Now I'm looking at holidays and making a long list for a last minute getaway.

The bully won't get their comeuppance this time. What goes around comes around.