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Original poster

Boss called me fat today

25 replies

user1474626056 · 22/07/2022 20:09

Hi all

Embarrassed to ask my friends for advice on this, but i work at a high street clothing store, and my boss called me "the fat one" today in front of a group of staff. I didn't say anything at the time but now can't face going to work tomorrow.

Do i pretend it never happened? He is quite high up so i think a complaint will cause issues for me long term?

OP posts:
LoveTigerWiger · 22/07/2022 20:33

I don't have any advice I'm afraid but I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Nottodayseagull · 22/07/2022 20:35

That's awful. I'd leave that company for a different one if that's the culture tbh. You shouldn't have to put up with that it's bullying.

Original poster
user1474626056 · 22/07/2022 20:35

LoveTigerWiger · 22/07/2022 20:33

I don't have any advice I'm afraid but I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Thanks, i'm googling my options "what to do if your boss calls you fat" and all seem to suggest legal action but i'm not in a position to do this.

OP posts:
dolphinsarentcommon · 22/07/2022 20:36

I wouldn't go and I'd call in and tell them the real reason. Ask them to email you their bully/harassment policy and the grievance procedure and sit tight.

He needs moving. Not you

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/07/2022 20:36

Are you in a union? If not, join one.

Original poster
user1474626056 · 22/07/2022 20:37

Nottodayseagull · 22/07/2022 20:35

That's awful. I'd leave that company for a different one if that's the culture tbh. You shouldn't have to put up with that it's bullying.

Thanks, i 100% will have to move away, but the breadwinner atm as my partner in between jobs so feel trapped

OP posts:
CadburyCrunchy · 22/07/2022 20:46

@user1474626056 that's awful and where has he been living in the last 10 years! He knows full well that he can't say that so do you think he was goading you for a reaction of some sort? Do you think he's trying to get you to leave?

Ontomatopea · 22/07/2022 20:47

Can you find another job easily?

Ontomatopea · 22/07/2022 20:48

user1474626056 · 22/07/2022 20:37

Thanks, i 100% will have to move away, but the breadwinner atm as my partner in between jobs so feel trapped

Show quote history

Ah sorry missed this.

Kanaloa · 22/07/2022 20:50

This is horrible bullying. No advice really as I’ve no clue what action is appropriate but I have sympathy. I don’t suppose you can look through your policies & procedures and put this incident in writing to the higher ups? If I was a big boss I’d definitely want to know if my managers were behaving in this way.

Thewayshetalks · 22/07/2022 20:58

Speak to your head office HR department, even if he is high up they will want to know, call in tomorrow and explain why you are not going in & advise you are waiting further advice from head office HR

CDD1992 · 22/07/2022 21:02

Speak to citizens advice for free guidance. At the end of the day, if you put in a complaint and you're then reprimanded or sacked because of it, you can easily sue them for unfair dismissal. Good luck whatever you do, but just don't put up with it. X

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 22/07/2022 21:07

Is there a head office you can speak to? Are there any of your colleagues you feel close to who you could confide in and might be willing to back you up? That's absolutely horrible and I'm so sorry this happened to you. What a dick.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 22/07/2022 21:09

Look at your employment policies, specifically the one relating to raising a grievance. Your complaint is about your manager so I believe the policy will require you to log a formal complaint with your managers manager or HR.

You need to be explicit in your email that you are are raising a formal grievance, when the incident occurred (time and date) where it happened and who else was there and observed it happening.

You said it was a high street store so is there another branch you can easily get to or at your branch would it be possible to be moved to a different managers team?

Coffeeenema · 22/07/2022 21:29

user1474626056 · 22/07/2022 20:09

Hi all

Embarrassed to ask my friends for advice on this, but i work at a high street clothing store, and my boss called me "the fat one" today in front of a group of staff. I didn't say anything at the time but now can't face going to work tomorrow.

Do i pretend it never happened? He is quite high up so i think a complaint will cause issues for me long term?

So bad.

Gather witnesses and raise hell.

thefirstmrsrochester · 22/07/2022 21:36

Thewayshetalks · 22/07/2022 20:58

Speak to your head office HR department, even if he is high up they will want to know, call in tomorrow and explain why you are not going in & advise you are waiting further advice from head office HR

This 👆

Morechocmorechoc · 22/07/2022 21:42

Def don't leave it. Speak to HR. You should get a good pay out for it or tell them you will be suing. Don't back down its completely unacceptable!

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 22/07/2022 21:45

That sounds awful OP. Please don’t feel embarrassed. He is the one who should be embarrassed.

If you can bring yourself to tell us some of the context it might help people advise you better.

Did he address you personally by that term or was he talking about you to someone else? Neither is right of course.

Prettybubblesintheair · 22/07/2022 21:49

That is horrific and completely and utterly unacceptable. Absolutely do not go in tomorrow and tell them why. Hr are going to be up in arms about this as they should be. It is not ok to call someone anything that relates to the way they look. It’s all derogatory, even something they might consider complementary like “the pretty one” is derogatory because it implies that’s all you are, pretty, never mind the fact that you’re great at your job! Definitely do not let this go. A man wouldn’t.

NotStayingIn · 22/07/2022 21:54

Oh gosh OP that's horrible, I'm so sorry. I'm not sure if it is relevant, but what size/profile company is it? I'm wondering whether if it's a bigger chain they might have a better HR system to deal with shit like this than if it's a smaller store.

WudYouSayItInRealLife · 22/07/2022 22:29

If you don't want to leave the job and don't won't to report him what about emailing him and asking him about it. It doesn't have to be confrontational but might ensure he doesn't do it in future.

You could detail what happened and tell him not to do it again. If you do decide to send an email I'd keep it short and factual and I'd not use any threats.

Polimolly · 22/07/2022 22:36

Why are some people assuming the boss is a man?

Do raise a grievance against them? I'm very sorry this happened to you

Polimolly · 22/07/2022 22:37

Oh sorry. I can see you says in your post it's a "he". I missed that. Sorry everyone!

MargotChateau · 22/07/2022 22:42

Call in sick.

Tomorrow first thing in the morning, calmly without emotion write down what happened, and how it has affected you.

Then contact ACAS and find out your rights and what to do next, link below;
www.acas.org.uk

And then contact some no win no fee law firms.

I’ve been in a similar situation, work place bullying and sexual harassment. Both times I found out my rights, told them I knew my rights, have employed a lawyer, both times I was paid out to settle with a NDA before I even properly engaged a lawyer.

longcoffeebreak · 22/07/2022 22:55

Jeez definitely don't do nothing he or she needs to know that is so not ok

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