When is reasonable to TTC in new employment?

[Wrenegade]

Im looking for advice or experience from employees or employers that have had similar experiences.

My husband and I are considering TTC in December of this year. By which time I will have been in my role six months and hopefully passed my probation period. Is six months reasonably long enough to be in a role when TTC? I intend to return to work after mat leave but I’m concerned I may be judged for (hopefully) falling pregnant not far into employment.

For some background I have endometriosis and have been advised conceiving may be difficult, I will be turning 28 around the time we hope TTC. I am anxious about not postponing too long as both my mother and grandmother were given emergency hysterectomies before 29 due to endometriosis complications.

We had originally planned to TTC in September when in my old role. I chose to change jobs as I felt that my physical and mental health were being impacted (health role with 16 hour shifts working around a 24 hour clock).

I’d be grateful for any thoughts or advice, looking to see what range of reactions I may encounter.

I'd say, having gone through something similar with notifying my boss that I was expecting a month into my new job - don't put off TTC. Just make sure you are fully clued up on your maternity rights and remind your employer if you have to. In my situation, my boss reacted badly to my pregnancy and the series of events that unfolded from that have taught me never to compromise my rights in order to keep boss happy. Despite cutting my maternity leave to a couple of months as he'd asked and being asked to work some days during what little maternity leave I had - I was still very unappreciated. A good employer won't do this. Your employment rights including pay rises, accrued holidays and return to work are protected when you're on leave.

*should clarify it's a month into my job I notified my boss I was pregnant - not a month until I gave birth! He actually had plenty of notice - well before the 15 weeks notice required.

Once you qualify for maternity pay I'd start

Once you would qualify for the enhanced maternity package

Thank you all for responding, your replies have certainly made me feel more convicted to prioritise starting a family over work.

@LoveToOat I am really sorry to hear the sacrifices that you made that went unrecognised and not valued. This is absolutely what I fear but like you said a good employer wouldn’t behave in that way and more than anything it reflects on them if they do.

Hey @Wrenegade I passed probation back in april. Started TTC this month. Don't put off starting a family, their will always be help out there regardless. I am 37 and delayed TTC as I once ran a business that required my attention 24/7 and I wouldn't have had the help I needed. I moved to my current job for my own mental and physical wellbeing.
I too plan to stay after maternity when/if baby happens.
Also employers are not allowed to discriminate pregnant women, if they were to dismiss you their are grounds for unfair dismissal.

Whenever you want to, even if it’s day one.

@niknaks37 thank you for sharing your experience, it is comforting to know that someone else is in a similar situation at the moment. If you don’t mind me asking, how long was your probation period? Wishing you all the luck in your TTC journey.

@Wrenegade Im in a similar position. I started a job in March and will have my probation end in September.

I’ll qualify for the mat package from October so I’m planning to start TTC end of October (my app reckons I’ll ovulate on halloween 😂)

I too left a very stressful job and I’m glad that I did. I feel so much more ready to TTC in my new nice job. Obviously they might be very annoyed, but it’s a risk I’m taking!

@Mushroo our situations sound very similar, thank you for sharing. I have felt very stressed about this decision and feel really encouraged by others who are making the same choice.

Ultimately I do believe women shouldn’t have to make work plans and decisions around TTC and that two are separate matters. Fathers starting families rarely have the same worries.

Really exciting that you’re so close! Wishing you luck for your Halloween baby.

@Wrenegade I’m a massive overthinker too and I just thought, if I can’t get pregnant straight away I’d hate every day in my old job.

Whereas now I can settle into new job and just go from there.

(and yes, if it happens definitely striking the name Damien off the list 😂)

I fully expect it to take me over a year to convince after comming off the pill. Everyone said my cycle will need time to settle.

My mother struggled to conceive me and my grandmother struggled to conceive her second.

Also I was "old" 37.

I conceived 3 months in to us trying and I'm now 37 weeks pregnant.

I would check your contract as I was under the impression I had to be in my job 2 years for full maternity. When I did get my things through for maternity leave it turns out I only needed to be in the job 6 months.

@Spottybutterfly at 31 waiting nine months is fine, you’re young. But I hear that starting a family actually feels like more of a priority for you at the moment. Perhaps because your current job is not what you were hoping for it to be. Personally, I’d be thinking more about the work load and stress whilst pregnant. I say this now as a pregnant woman who has found pregnancy hasn’t come without its complications. Of course, all women are different and lots find it an easy experience. But next time I TTC I will consider if my work environment is conductive to my wellbeing. You have rights and pregnancy is a protected characteristic.

Have you sat down and looked at your finances? What does mat leave look like on SMP and what does it look like on the mat package? Can you afford the former, do the benefits of the latter out weigh the waiting?

Im sorry to hear about your cyst. That must feel worrying, I can relate to the (fear of) struggling to conceive. Ultimately for me starting a family came before all else, the advice on the first gave me the confidence to remember that work is just work and any potential future baby is your child forever. Have you spoken to your GP about TTC whilst having a cyst present?