To cut a very long story short I left my previous role just under a year ago to work in what represented a great promotional opportunity to a Director role for a charity. At the time of the interview the job that was sold to me was very much in keeping with my skillset and it seemed as though they had a great culture from how they presented themselves at interview
Pretty much from about 3 weeks in there were some major red flags. My colleagues are not nasty bullies or I doubt deliberately trying to be this way but essentially the culture places almost no value on people skills or wellbeing. Almost everyone's manner is abrupt, brusque and there is a pervasive blame and critical culture. The role is very different in reality to what I was sold and I was honest with them at my probation appraisal that I felt it was misaligned to my skillset and that I had doubts about the culture. In my first 3 months I'm not exaggerating when I say that not one person not even my boss asked me.how I was finding the role or settling in. There is a very high performance culture and people are so stretched that excessive overtime is a constant. In a team of 40 I'd say about 25 have major issues going on (I'd know as I'm in HR) and there is always some type of conflict disaster or wellbeing issue going on in the team.
I have a 3yo son and I have seen almost nothing of him during the week since I started. I perhaps stupidly agreed to full time compressed hours (because I have a day off with my son I didn't want to lose) but in reality my days are insanely long as there's always extra to do. Despite raising it several times I'm consistently scheduled in for meetings and events on my non working day and there is an underlying implication that this is expected because I'm senior. My manager is not all bad - we've got to a point of a fairly good working relationship but he remains unapproachable and a bit unpredictable and I haven't found myself able to be honest about how I've been finding things. When I raised issues in probation he basically went on a charm offensive for a short while which gave the impression these things were all solvable but in reality im 6 months later and all issues have worsened
The three major factors that have made me miserable ate the workload the culture and a relationship with a colleague who is also a director who I find very undermining and constantly critiques my work/ tries to delegate to me. I recently found out there's a chance she will become my manager and that was the last straw for me thinking I needed to get out
I've decided to commit to resigning after a long hard think over the past few weeks . The trouble is - I'm in a senior leadership role so the fact I'm leaving in under a year especially when everyone else has worked together for about 12 years will be a big deal. I had plans underway which if left will cause big issues. I recently recruited new members to my team so the timing feels awful. And so I'm really anxious about telling my boss. Any advice on how to hold that conversation or get over the guilt and anxiety loop would be much appreciated. I really want and need to get to the other side of this