Hello!
Just wanting some advice, I’m feeling really fed up and unmotivated. A bit burnt out, and I can tell my performance at work has dipped. This bothers me because I’ve always been really high performing, hardworking and the sort of person who gets things done, and honestly I just can’t be bothered right now.
I work in the creative industry and I’ve got the job I dreamed of when I was at university (after a lot of hard work and a few twists and turns). To cut a long story short I was a creative manager in a start up business. It was very stressful, I was on about £28k which didn’t feel like anywhere near enough for what I was doing. The only perk was I got a good holiday allowance.
I left 18 months ago for a small business in a slightly different sector, which has meant a bit of retraining on my part (nothing drastic though). I started on the same salary, but my annual leave is now only 20 days + bank holiday. I did try to negotiate this (unsuccessfully) and at the time I was so desperate to leave my old job I was willing to accept this. At the interview I made it clear the reason why I was leaving was due to my old job being so stressful and wanting a step down in responsibility.
I just want to be able to switch off at 5pm and not be thinking too much about work or working into the night anymore.
The owner is a nice person, although the business is doing well, the outgoings are high and there’s not tons of money to pay everyone more.
Fast forward to now, I think I’ve gained a lot skills wise but I feel unmotivated and maybe a bit resentful of my situation. My experience in the start up means I am good under pressure and I am a bit of a Jack of all trades. As a result, my role has morphed into something completely different as the company has launched a new product area which means I’ve been doing what pretty much was my old job but with no team around me, and I can see myself sleepwalking into another shitty situation but this time on less pay than I would have been on if I’d stayed put, and less holiday.
In hindsight I shouldn’t have let myself get into this situation but there you go.
I do enjoy the actual work, but I think what I resent is what feels like low pay, low holiday allowance and no team/support. I work remotely, whereas before I worked in an office so it can be quite lonely. I am also much worse off working from home as I walked to work before, and now I’m paying lots in utility bills heating /cooling my workspace.
I also have the feeling of ‘here we go again’ as I was in a similar position in the start up (lots of work and no support) and it took years for me to get a team. Apart from before I was in my twenties and no kids, things are different now, and as much as I am a capable person and want to do well at work, I now know my family and my friends are what brings me joy and they come first.
I have been looking at other jobs and they’re either down south (I’m in the north, in a little town!), or they don’t advertise the pay or it’s quite low still.
I guess I’m just venting and frustrated. I keep seeing people talking about salaries and they all seem to be on loads of money, and mine seems low in comparison. It’s not so much the money that bothers me, it’s more the feeling of being undervalued or taken for a ride that bothers me.
Thinking logically, I think I would have to make a case for the amount of value and experience I’m bringing and negotiate a rise from there. Only problem is I’m so fed up and burnt out I feel like I’m limping through the working day and performing averagely at best. How do I get my motivation back?
Thank you for reading!