Being asked to go to the shops on my lunch break

[Twilightimmortal]

Hello, I need some advice about something that is causing me anxiety and stopping me sleeping.

I'm a TA in a small school that has one kitchen staff. For the past two months she has asked me almost everyday on my lunch break if I can go and get some shopping for her for the school.

She does get deliveries but these are top up shops.

It started with her saying are you going out at lunch could you please get me so and so? No problem I said.

When she asked again I said yes but I need my time back. The teacher said sure I could have 10 min back. Then when she asked again I said I need 20 min back as she is asking me to go to a specific shop.

Now it seems that she just says I need you to go shop for me. Here is a list and the money.

I dont want to do it anymore. No one else gets asked and tbh sometimes I dont want to go out at lunch time also recently all of the items and check out have taken half my lunch break. Also she has started messaging me on my way to work to pick up bread and small stuff.

I'm being kept awake by this foolishly, when I know the simple answer is just say I'm not going out sorry. I just don't want to cause problems between me and her.

If you are not going to say ‘no’ yourself then you will need to tell your supervisor.
the kitchen staff should be more organised.
you are entitled to have an undisturbed lunch break.
does she come and find you to ask? How does it happen? Be unavailable…scoot out the door before she has a chance to.

Oh sorry, just read that she messages you. Why is that? Block her or easy to say ‘no’ in a text.

You need to have frank discussion with whoever is your boss. Maybe say you are happy to go to the shop if it is in work time and part of your duties but you are not prepared to continually do this in your break time.

"Of course I can get it. My lunch break finishes at 12:30 - I'll go them and come straight back after." Or "well I finish playground duty at 1 - so will pop over then"

Dont be there for her to ask! Turn your phone off. If she does manage to ask you, say ‘sorry, I can’t today, maybe XX could?’ and if you need an excuse tell her you’ve scheduled a call with someone at whatever time. Don’t feel bad saying no- she doesn’t feel bad repeatedly asking!! X

Oh OP you are definitely being taken for granted. It's really unreasonable for her to expect you to go on your lunch I bet most of the time your not using that time back. I would just say to her you would really like to spend your lunch without doing errands and although your happy to help not every day is there anyone else who can also help?

Is the kitchen staff even in a position where she should be giving you work to do? Why doesn't she just go to the shop herself on the way to work?

You need to discuss with your manager(s) and make it clear you won't lose your lunch break to tasks that are work related. Doing it every once in a while when you're in the shop anyway is fine, but regular like this, no.

Maybe the school cook doesn't have enough time during her hours to source, prep and cook the food. But she shouldn't be solving this problem by taking advantage of you. She should also talk to her managers to work out a way to do everything she needs to do in the time she is at work, which she should obviously be paid for. Or perhaps she is disorganised and needs to sort that out?

There's is a lot wrong with this. However, as the end of term approaches I think now would be a good time to say you won't be doing this moving forward and she needs to speak to the headteacher and school secretary about a better way around this. Quite frankly, it's a waste of time. 20 mins every day is 1hr40 per week that the school should be paying you to pick up bits that the kitchen staff should know in advance that they need. Be strong, say it isn't working. I don't know if you're working today and tomorrow but it would also be a great time to say 'no there is no way I'm walking to any shops in todays heat sorry'

She used to have a kitchen assistant but she left and they won't hire anyone at the moment.
Everyone feels a bit sorry for her and helps a little bit with getting the children's fruit and cutlery and plates ready. But we all do that.

The shop thing seems to have become me. On Friday was the last straw, she gave me a big list and then when I came back said that its for Monday so it saves her time in the morning?!

I suppose as a TA you can't get away with extending your lunch.

Someone used to do this to me all the time. I'd get their stuff and only then start my lunch. It was a bit of a bonus as I'd already walked into town on their time. It didn't carry on for long.

Just say sorry I’m busy on my break today. Can’t do it.

You need to nip this in the bud op. A sorry I'm not going out today would do.

Can she get a weekly supermarket delivery? Will take a bit of planning, but maybe she needs to simplify the food offering a little if she's trying to do a 2 person job by herself?

She is trying to do a 2 person job. That's why I helped out. She also gets delivery's. But she gets me to get top up shop stuff. Pays cash aswell so I have to queue up instead of using self checkout.

I'm done with it. I'm going to say. I cant do it anymore. I'm not getting my break sorry.

Its got to the point that I never want to do it again. Even for a one off.

Put your foot down now.
Today's weather gives you the perfect excuse -
"Sorry but I'm not going out in this heat and, to be fair, I won't be able to do anymore errands for you".
Then walk away - if she texts DO NOT reply.

Then continue to refuse her requests so she sees you're no longer her assistant.

If you nip it in the bud this week you'll be in a much stronger place when you return to school in September and you won't spend the summer holidays fretting about it.

If other people feel sorry for her then they can run her errands. You've done your fair share.

It's the end of term. Tell her, in advance, that from next term you will be busy at lunchtime with your own stuff.

I've been in a similar situation. You just need to say your not doing it anymore as your not getting a proper break. They can't deny it. You will feel much better once you've said it.

I would tell them before they ask you again so that they can arrange an alternative. Could you text her?

As long as you keep doing stuff like that the longer it will be before the schools feels they need to hire someone else. I get wanting to help eachother out but something like this which is every day is not fair. I'd speak to them and if no joy speak to your manager and set out expectations for next year ie I will do x before or after my lunch break, but not during.

This sounds like a typical school! Be asseroand clear that you get your time for your break back. I would still help out though.

I know it's hard now they seem to expect it but I'd just say to your manager and the kitchen person that it's now not longer something you can assist with.

If you are happy for them to allocate time in the normal day (so your lunch break is still ringfenced and your own time) you could offer this but make it clear. Also if you are driving you should be claiming mileage.

How is it workinb out OP?

Are you using your private car to do this?

If so and your insurance policy is for "social and commuting" you are therefore not insured

I'm not working there at the moment but before I left I was asked if I'm going out during my lunch break whilst I was with a colleague.

I said "not really why, I'm only going to get a coffee im not going near the shops."

She said " no, I was just going to ask of you could get me a drink"

After when I went with my colleague for a coffee I said to her that I dont mind going but not everyday and I don't get my time back anymore. She agreed and said that she has been asked but started to say no everytime.

Thats it, haven't thought about it for a few weeks

Oh goo

*good