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What job/career did you want but your parents blocked?

41 replies

Fancydancer1934 · 12/07/2022 22:26

When I was 16 (over forty years ago) I wanted to join the WRENS (woman's royal navy). I'm an only child and mom and dad said no. By the time I hit 18 had lost interest. Fast forward 40+ Years got a good job but it's not my life's work - anyone got a similar story?

OP posts:
Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 12/07/2022 22:30

I wanted to work at Woolworths...
Have done shop work as and adult and loved it!.
Glad I didn't listen to dm.

Redbone · 12/07/2022 22:31

I am an only child too and slightly older than you. I wanted desperately to be a. vet but was told by my parents that people wouldn’t take me seriously as I was a girl.

Louise0701 · 12/07/2022 22:31

Slightly different, as not my parents but; I wanted to be a midwife and my Aunt who was high up in the maternity hospital at the time strongly advised me not to as the NHS was going to shit, the staff were treated like shit and I’d be overworked with more responsibility than I should have with no credit for it but would be the fall guy if it all went tits up. This was 2007.

I didn’t go into midwifery but my best friend did and worked for 10 years before resigning. She suffered anxiety for years.

Garysparrowsthirdwife · 12/07/2022 22:35

Hairdressing-I went and did it at the age of 33-got my qualifications at 35

to be fair any choices I made would have been knocked on the head as they think that girls shouldn’t have an education as ‘they should sit at home,making babies and raising them-maybe a little job for pin money when the kids move out’

’boys are worthy of an education as they go to work’

they paid for my brothers to start,and drop out of quite a few courses at college before they stumbled on the ones they wanted to do-it was made clear to me there was no money in the pot for me so I did it myself

JessicaBrassica · 12/07/2022 22:36

I wanted to be an occupational therapist or a special needs teacher. Mum told me I'd be a rubbish OT. My classroom management isn't good enough for class teaching. after mum had dies, at 40 I retrained as an OT and now work partly in a special school. I love it. But I probably would have been rubbish at 18...

EgonSpengler2020 · 12/07/2022 22:39

I wanted to study biology, psychology and art for a level, my dad said it was pointless combining sciences and art and really pressured me not to do it. So I did PE instead of art, hated it and got a D. Now at 40 I'm contemplating a career change to retrain as a landscape designer, which if I'd done the subjects I'd wanted to I might have been doing it a long time ago.

Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 12/07/2022 22:40

Politician

But my parents thought I was to honest

🙄

rainydogday · 12/07/2022 22:43

Louise0701 · 12/07/2022 22:31

Slightly different, as not my parents but; I wanted to be a midwife and my Aunt who was high up in the maternity hospital at the time strongly advised me not to as the NHS was going to shit, the staff were treated like shit and I’d be overworked with more responsibility than I should have with no credit for it but would be the fall guy if it all went tits up. This was 2007.

I didn’t go into midwifery but my best friend did and worked for 10 years before resigning. She suffered anxiety for years.

Sensible Aunt!

MiniTheMinx · 12/07/2022 22:43

Not a career as such. They dissuaded me from buying a hotel in Hastings. I was about 25 years old. It was £13,000 and less than half my years salary. I wanted to rent it out as bed and breakfast to the council and wait for the property market to pick up again. I read years later of a guy who did just that, bought two hotels, waited, earned a good income from the DSS, then redeveloped the hotels into flats making a couple of million. I was told I was being silly! oh well.

Louise0701 · 12/07/2022 22:44

@Ohmygoditsgonewrong you were definitely not suited then 😂

DrHildegardeLanstrom · 12/07/2022 22:48

To work with horses

daretodenim · 12/07/2022 22:50

I wanted to be a dentist, then a dr (for 4 years), then a psychologist. I was dissuaded from them all. My mother didn't like those jobs. She wanted me to be a teacher. I didn't even enjoy being around kids!!

I studied modern languages..and now 20 years later am doing a psychology degree. I think it would have also made a good dentist and a good dr but at this age training as a psychologist is easier for me with kids than training for the other.

Viviennethebeautiful · 12/07/2022 22:53

Wanted to be a hairdresser. Not acceptable to my aspirational dad. Ended up with a rewarding career both in terms of making a difference and financially. Still I do wonder if my life would have been richer (in terms of enjoyment and family) had I pursued my dream.
too old to retrain

Cafog · 12/07/2022 22:54

Wanted to join the PSNI when it was being changed from the old RUC. I'm glad they stopped me.

Notoironing · 12/07/2022 22:56

Jockey

DelisButAlsoCrime · 12/07/2022 22:57

Ski instructor. I still spend around 6 weeks a year skiing and am envious of them, although not sure what they do outside of the season!

Onlyrainbows · 12/07/2022 22:57

Astronomy

SweatyChamoisPad · 12/07/2022 22:59

Wrens - they told me I wouldn’t get to do anything interesting.
Police - they come from an area which doesn’t take kindly to grasses, and they saw it as me turning against where I’d been brought up.

Hyvsvaar · 12/07/2022 23:02

A marine biologist, was ridiculed regularly about saving the planet..this was the early 90s
ended up working for nhs in a ‘typical female job’ that my granny/mother pushed, it was souls destroying and crushed my make a difference spirit

Louise0701 · 12/07/2022 23:04

@DelisButAlsoCrime my cousin is a ski instructor at a holiday resort in Austria. During quiet periods, he fixes mountain bikes at an activity centre in the Alps.

Discwriter · 12/07/2022 23:07

I wanted to be a beautician. Used to help out on Saturdays and did my own facials and manis and pedis since I was about 9. My mum was against it so I trained as a lawyer. Still think it's an amazing job.

CharlotteOH · 12/07/2022 23:10

Artist

Mossstitch · 12/07/2022 23:17

Something medical in a hospital but parents wouldn't let me stay on at school despite being at a grammer school. My mother's idea of suitable jobs for a girl were a secretary or hairdresser. I did finally get myself to uni in my 40s and have worked as a therapist in an NHS hospital for 20 years and still love it. But with proper parenting I'm sure I could have been a doctor.

AlienatedChildGrown · 12/07/2022 23:26

By 4 I was very fixed on the idea of being a teacher.

My dad made me sit through every single news report of bad working conditions, low salaries and unemployment of teachers during the 70s. He was fond of “those that can do, those that can’t teach”. I think he was desperate to channel the results of a single IQ test in the direction that would ensure me an independent and financially comfortable life. So all sciences it was. Future engineer, computer programmer (he had me typing code by the early 80s into a computer that used a tape recorder as a hard disk, or soft disk, can’t remember which), scientist, doctor, dentist … but not vet !

I’m a teacher. Via a non-conventional route, in an area that is not really considered a proper part of the profession. Nothing makes me feel like teaching does. Not from when I put chalk to board to teach my class (my younger siblings, there against their will) for the very first time. I bloody loved it. These days I don’t have to threaten my students with older sister style retribution to show up to class 😁

My sister is actually a scientist, very high level one. I think he saw that amazing Big Career potential, just in the wrong daughter.

At the end of his own career dad was teaching the thing he loved most in the world. Showing that also those who can do, teach. By all accounts he loved it and was so good at it he won awards. Maybe the rogue apple wasn’t trying to fall as far from the tree as he thought it was. I wish he could have seen me teach. I know he would have breathed a sigh of relief. Because what he wanted was his daughters to reach all of their potential, not limited by their sex. And if he’d seen me in action he would have seen that in my own way, that’s what I do. Even if it doesn’t involve thwarting any professional gender stereotypes.

Mooshamoo · 12/07/2022 23:33

I really wanted to be a nurse. I was talked out of it, as my mother didn't think I would be able for it.

Do you ever think that some parents just love the control over their children, by telling them that they are not allowed to do the job they want to do.

It is a form of power and control.

Eg.
Child :I want to be a teacher
Parent: no teaching is a terrible job, you should study to be a doctor.

It's all about control

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