Falsely accusations sexual harassment

[2pinkrose]

Hi everyone,

My husband works for retail. 9 months in this job as a Team Leader of a clothing company in UK.

Literally all (about 8) female colleagues have accused my husband of sexual harassment. This is 100% false.

Ever since my husband joined this job he never like his team. He always used to come home complaining about his work to me that the sales representative are lazy and have negative attitude towards their work.

The store manager and the team leader have been really unsupportive.

My husband did flag many times to the store manager that the team is chilling in the stockroom but not any great outcome from it.

Last Friday my husband called in sick and the store manager was so angry. He messaged my husband to come work for half his shift to close the store as there is no one else. My husband msged back that he is not fit to come to work. So that Friday the store manager end up closing the store. This really annoyed the store manager as my husband's sickness ruined his dinner plan.

Monday my husband returned back to work and he was handed the suspension letter from HR.

My husband came home and handed me the letter. I was really really mad at his workplace for giving my husband such grief.

Today my husband had his meeting with HR so he can give his side of story. One word that he used in his side of story "uncomfortable" that the other team leader used to feel uncomfortable towards my husband. HR might use this against my husband. My husband did say the reason why the other team leader felt uncomfortable with my husband - because my husband used make a lot of the sales and that used to make the other team leader jealous and really bothered her.

HR later send my husband another meeting request via email and in this meeting my husband could face disciplinery and attached the team leader's and one of sales representative statement.

My husband showed their statement to me. I read it. Their statement had some dirty things. All lies about my husband.

So far apart of the females colleagues statement HR have no other evidence against my husband yet my husband does have proof when he messaged the store manager that the sales representative are not doing their work and the store manager should have a word with them.

Please can someone tell me what can we do to proof that all these are false allegation?? All statement are false, lies, fabricated

HR director here.

His employer only needs to believe 51% that he did something wrong. They don’t have to prove it beyond reasonable doubt. 8 witness statements is significant.

Even without this, with 9 months service they can dismiss for any non-discriminatory reason or indeed, no reason at all.

Did he go off sick because he suspected this was coming?

Let's be real.....how do you know the accusations are false? You weren't there and only have his word to go by. You may wish they were false, think they are and that the man you know is not capable of such things....all reasonable but you can be certain they are false.

8 women, 8 seperate accounts. Do you really think he are so incompetent that they wouldn't be able to notice or pull apart inconsistencies and elements of collusion if this was some sort of very malicious effort to falsely accuse your husband.

That you can get 8 seperate women to all say the same thing without there being an element of truth to it.

I know that if 7 women at work accussedca man at work of something that I wouldn't just jump on a bandwagon if it wasn't true.

Think about it.

How many women speaking out would it take for you to believe your husband was capable of this? 10, 50, 100, 1000 or it doesn’t matter how many women say he did it because of your experience with him you could never, ever see him as a person who assaults women?

The people who really know abusers are their victims.

^This

I've dealt with a couple of cases like this at work recently. In both cases the wife gave a supporting statement saying how lovely their husband is. In both cases they were dismissed for gross misconduct - because no matter how "lovely" they are they still sexually harassed people in the workplace .

You might know your husband's bank card pin but you've no idea what he does at work.

Either those 8 women all got together and are all willing to make light of the issue of sexual harassment and use it as a weapon against your husband (conspiracy theory) OR he did it and they've all been brave enough to speak up about a difficult issue.

All eight lied? Yeah that’s what’s happening.

So every woman your husband works with is a liar? That's the story he's going with?

Were there issues in his previous workplaces?

what are the specific allegations (or "dirty things" as you said)? You read as though English isn't your first language, do you think you might have missed some of the nuances?

It would be very troubling to think that your DH could be so kind and protective of you and harass other women. But it might be possible.

The statements might include the words your husband said and the things they say he did. Can you with your hand on your heart say you can't imagine him doing or saying that?

So op what’s the real story here? You know full well all eight women aren’t shit at their Job and all lying about this. So you know your husband has been sexually harassing all the women, and is likely awful at his job. So why are you pretending not to know it and that you believe him? You know full well the accusation isn’t he is having an affair, so the pin code stuff is irrelevant, none of them are interested in him, they just want the pervert to stop perving on them, hitting on them and being sexual to them.

and what’s all the nonsense about you earning more but totally living off him and he pays for everything and goes around buying homeless people amazing meals. It’s doubtful this is a high earner, likely quite a low earner, so where’s he getting all this money to pay for everything and buy homeless folks Amazon meals?

what’s going on? Do you have no empthy for these women, and no anger at what he’s doing?

He sounds like a great husband, but he may still have sexually harassed his staff. That’s a lot of people accusing him, so I think you have to work on the assumption that something has gone on.

So 8 people all have their stories straight and made all of them up?
Seems suspicious

OP - face facts. You cannot know who is telling the truth. You cannot prove they are lying.
You can write a character statement in support of him, whether it will be considered I do not know.
If he has a union representative they can advise.
Similarly so can ACAS.
He can pay for legal advice.
What he cannot do, and nor can you, interfere with the witnesses.
Are the police involved?
Are the accusations of sexual harassment?
Sexual assault?
Discrimination based on sex?
All three?
If the latter he should definitely contact ACAS.
And perhaps you may wish to consider it is extremely unlikely that 8 people would conspire in such a fashion: they would face gross misconduct allegations etc themselves.
Contrary to many Daily Mail commentators/ideas women do not frequently lie about these matters and don’t escape if they make false allegations free. It’s a bit of a false narrative driven by a certain type of man that this is the case.

Agree with the others. I’d say it’s unlikely that 8 seperate women were lying.

legally sexual harassment can include:

Sexual harassment includes a really wide range of behaviours, such as:

Sexual comments or noises – for example, catcalling or wolf-whistling.
Sexual gestures.
Leering, staring or suggestive looks. This can include looking someone up and down.
Sexual ‘jokes’.
Sexual innuendos or suggestive comments.
Unwanted sexual advances or flirting.
Sexual requests or asking for sexual favours.
Sending emails or texts with sexual content – for example, unwanted ‘sexts’ or ‘dick pics’.
Sexual posts or contact on social media.
Intrusive questions about a person’s private or sex life.
Someone discussing their own sex life.
Commenting on someone's body, appearance or what they’re wearing.
Spreading sexual rumours.
Standing close to someone.
Displaying images of a sexual nature.
Unwanted physical contact of a sexual nature – for example, brushing up against someone or hugging, kissing or massaging them.
Stalking.
Indecent exposure.
Taking a photo or video under another person's clothing – what is known as 'upskirting'.

Eight women are lying?

Listen to yourself.

I've seen the wives of serial killers say similar things to you and they were guilty too. Nothing you say proves his innocence. Eight women prepared to give a statement is a serious accusation.

So 8 women have ganged up together to make false accusations about your husband in their workplace? potentially putting their own job at risk?

Really?

It sounds rather unbelievable to me.

What would be the reason? so they can get him sacked?

I could understand one rogue employee making false allegations to get back at a manager who maybe had issues about their performance, but 8 women?

Anyway if they made this up it is likely that at least one of them will retract and give away the plot when the actual investigation starts.

But I would say you should not be so quick to dismiss them as liars.

It may be true, it may not.

If he really doesn't fit in with the team its actually a really easy way for them to push him out.

Having worked in largely female offices i'd say that it is quite possible for them to have ganged up to bully him out. I've seen it done with other women who weren't part of the 'gang' (not sexual harassment but other allegations). Eight women wouldn't lie! I'm pretty sure eight women in a tight nit group who find someone coming along and rocking their nice little boat where they can get by doing as little as possible can certainly lie.

Unfortunately HR will go with the women as its the thing to do, they won't want to rock the boat either, even if it is to the detriment of the business. As you can see from the other comments if enough people tell you the Earth is flat you better believe it.

The red flag is 8 people from the same workplace accuse one person of same wrong doing. It's so easy to have a group of people lie, especially if someone is unpopular and they want to get rid of him. What is difficult is finding 8 people who don't know each other, saying same thing about one person.

Sarah Ferguson says lovely things about her ex Andrew. Doesn’t mean he isn’t an foul mouthed, arrogant sexual abuser.

I'm sorry OP this must be really hard for you.

Red flag to me is 8 women. Even if I was press-ganged and leant upon or threatened with my job, I could never, ever accuse someone of something they hadn't done. I just couldn't and I'd hope I'd be in the majority. Even a minority still wouldn't mean all 8 women.

I’m afraid that, no matter how lovely your DH is to you and your son, it has nothing to do with the fact no less than 8 women have accused him of sexual harassment.

and how the colleague you met “looks wrong in character” has anything to do with the truthfulness (or otherwise) of her accusation is a mystery. She can’t help the way she looks - some lovely people have “resting bitch face”.

People say Islam is sexist because the Koran states that two women's word is worth one man's. Turns out that the Western world thinks it's 8 and counting.

Funny, since the prevalence of men groping, harassing and lying is so incredibly high. Even knowing how women are harassed so much, abused so much, the first thought is always, 'how can we twist ourselves in knots to see the man as blameless?'.

It's bizarre to me.

It doesn't have to be true, only has to be believed.