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Management - HELP!!

12 replies

Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 08/07/2022 17:47

Another issue my friend is having from management.

if anyone was following in the past weeks a friend of mine has been having issues with work.
Today she noticed she’s not got ANY weekends off for the next 8weeks & sent a text message to her manager to say if she can try & give her a weekend off in September. Not knowing she was off today as they sometimes work in different branches. Her manager replied saying for her NOT to text on her private number ever again & to only contact on her work phone in store or email. Also if she ever contacts on her private phone again she will raise a grievance for harassment.

Shes always contacted the manager on her personal phone as so has the manager when she needs my friend to change her shift or do them a favour etc.

Ive said in previous post she suffers from stress & anxiety & this has really set it off again.

what can be done about this?

thank you x

OP posts:
chilledbubble · 08/07/2022 17:49

Just apologise next time they see them and say they'd assumed it was ok as the manager gave her the number but she won't do.it again.

UserError012345 · 08/07/2022 17:51

Gawd manager sounds like an arse.

Over the top reaction.

Lesson learned.

Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 08/07/2022 18:01

UserError012345 · 08/07/2022 17:51

Gawd manager sounds like an arse.

Over the top reaction.

Lesson learned.

Yup she is! I felt she was being very OTT especially seens that’s how they normally keep in contact regarding work etc. she could have put it politely!

OP posts:
camdenl · 08/07/2022 18:08

I can see where the manager is coming from but their response was abrupt.

I don’t contact my manager outside of work unless I need to call in sick, which has been just once since I started working there. No one should be expected to deal with work stuff outside of work. Her request wasn’t an emergency to warrant contacting her personal number.

Therefore, I would take what has been said on the chin and just liaise via email instead.

The comment about harassment warning can be scary, but it’s unlikely the manager has put a complaint in at this stage, so your friend is not in trouble at work and go in as normal.

Nothing to stress over. In the email, I would say sorry for contacting her outside of work and nip any issue in the bud.

Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 08/07/2022 20:03

camdenl · 08/07/2022 18:08

I can see where the manager is coming from but their response was abrupt.

I don’t contact my manager outside of work unless I need to call in sick, which has been just once since I started working there. No one should be expected to deal with work stuff outside of work. Her request wasn’t an emergency to warrant contacting her personal number.

Therefore, I would take what has been said on the chin and just liaise via email instead.

The comment about harassment warning can be scary, but it’s unlikely the manager has put a complaint in at this stage, so your friend is not in trouble at work and go in as normal.

Nothing to stress over. In the email, I would say sorry for contacting her outside of work and nip any issue in the bud.

thank you for your reply.

how on the other hand is it okay for her manager to contact her on her days off (when they are fully aware) for changes to shifts etc, if she doesn’t reply then they call her.

she genuinely didn’t know it was her managers day off as she is running 3 stores currently hence she thought she’s at another store. She didn’t expect a reply, just incase they do the rota’s for following months in the next days or so she was just requesting it off.

OP posts:
camdenl · 08/07/2022 20:36

Is she on a zero hour or part time contract? Seems like she doesn’t have a set rota, so maybe them calling about changes to shifts could be reasonable eg if there’s last minute changes or if there’s an opportunity for overtime.

though I do agree with you - changes in shifts could be communicated via email and shouldn’t really happen super frequently. Your friend should know on her last day of work for the week, what her shifts will be like after her days off without changes in between.

genuinely though, does being text/called bother your friend? If it does, raise it in the email she sends to the manager

Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 08/07/2022 20:57

camdenl · 08/07/2022 20:36

Is she on a zero hour or part time contract? Seems like she doesn’t have a set rota, so maybe them calling about changes to shifts could be reasonable eg if there’s last minute changes or if there’s an opportunity for overtime.

though I do agree with you - changes in shifts could be communicated via email and shouldn’t really happen super frequently. Your friend should know on her last day of work for the week, what her shifts will be like after her days off without changes in between.

genuinely though, does being text/called bother your friend? If it does, raise it in the email she sends to the manager

No it certainly doesn’t, but the manager seems to have made a super big deal about it. She always replies to their texts/calls on her days off/sick leave.

she’s on a full time contract - 5days a week

OP posts:
rwalker · 08/07/2022 21:01

Sounds like possible another member of staff has caused a problem and she put a top to using her private number and your friend got the brunt of it .

Tell her to email and put on email sorry about the confusion but always contacted you on that number many time before didn't realise it was a problem and it won't happen again

Jalisco · 09/07/2022 08:22

There are a string of posts about this entire situation going back some months, in some of which it is your friend, and others it is you. It would be helpful to know which it is because, with the best will in the world, whether the information we are seeing is being filtered through a third party matters. If you are hearing a version of events from a friend, you are likely hearing only their side of it. If it is happening to you directly, then it is still only one persons side of events, but it is also at least the direct version of one person.

There seems to be multiple issues here but the employer does appear to have made attempts to support you / your friend. They have moved her/you to another store because you said that you could not cope with how busy the former store was. She/you have been reluctant to properly engage with occupational health when the employer asked for an assessment. But then, in a smaller and less busy store (with presumably fewer staff), having got what she/you asked for the issue is now that they won't give more flexibility on shifts and she/ you don't like working later shifts and with no other staff on. And now she/ you also want to quit and want to know if doing that will affect your / her UC.

Having all this and more information seeded across multiple threads actually makes it harder to give you good advice because nobody is seeing the bigger picture. But if the employer has done quite a lot to support you, and if that isn't helping, for whatever reason, there will come a point at which you / she must decide to either accept this situation or to move on - whether that means finding another job or not. As individual circumstances, some of these events may seem that the employer is being very unreasonable. But taken together they paint a different picture, and I do wonder to what extent her / your underlying problems are colouring your /her view of what is happening. Perhaps the manager is being a bit short on this occasion. But equally, perhaps she is struggling with an employee who, reasonably or not, always seems to want something different / more, and this was the last straw.

Managers are only human. They can only do so much. Perhaps it might be better now for you / your friend to consider whether a fresh start somewhere else will help. Whatever the circumstances are, and regardless of how you/ she has got to this situation, it doesn't seem like there is a way to easily resolve it. When that happens, a fresh start can be the best for everyone. That doesn't minimise the anxiety you / your friend is feeling. But sometimes anxiety doesn't tell us the truth, and our reactions to the perception we have are uncontrolled, making it all a vicious spiral.

Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 09/07/2022 08:41

Jalisco · 09/07/2022 08:22

There are a string of posts about this entire situation going back some months, in some of which it is your friend, and others it is you. It would be helpful to know which it is because, with the best will in the world, whether the information we are seeing is being filtered through a third party matters. If you are hearing a version of events from a friend, you are likely hearing only their side of it. If it is happening to you directly, then it is still only one persons side of events, but it is also at least the direct version of one person.

There seems to be multiple issues here but the employer does appear to have made attempts to support you / your friend. They have moved her/you to another store because you said that you could not cope with how busy the former store was. She/you have been reluctant to properly engage with occupational health when the employer asked for an assessment. But then, in a smaller and less busy store (with presumably fewer staff), having got what she/you asked for the issue is now that they won't give more flexibility on shifts and she/ you don't like working later shifts and with no other staff on. And now she/ you also want to quit and want to know if doing that will affect your / her UC.

Having all this and more information seeded across multiple threads actually makes it harder to give you good advice because nobody is seeing the bigger picture. But if the employer has done quite a lot to support you, and if that isn't helping, for whatever reason, there will come a point at which you / she must decide to either accept this situation or to move on - whether that means finding another job or not. As individual circumstances, some of these events may seem that the employer is being very unreasonable. But taken together they paint a different picture, and I do wonder to what extent her / your underlying problems are colouring your /her view of what is happening. Perhaps the manager is being a bit short on this occasion. But equally, perhaps she is struggling with an employee who, reasonably or not, always seems to want something different / more, and this was the last straw.

Managers are only human. They can only do so much. Perhaps it might be better now for you / your friend to consider whether a fresh start somewhere else will help. Whatever the circumstances are, and regardless of how you/ she has got to this situation, it doesn't seem like there is a way to easily resolve it. When that happens, a fresh start can be the best for everyone. That doesn't minimise the anxiety you / your friend is feeling. But sometimes anxiety doesn't tell us the truth, and our reactions to the perception we have are uncontrolled, making it all a vicious spiral.

Thank you for taking the time out to reply. Yes it’s about me, I was hesitant to write it’s about me with the current situation as I didn’t want anyone I know seeing this.

theres been various situations with my employer right now & im literally done with it all. As I’m the only breadwinner I also have to consider what would happen to benefits we receive if I voluntarily resign.

they have been very unreasonable with me since I’ve returned from jury service & I feel like it’s payback in a way because I was off for so long - although it was not my fault I was put on such a long case.

I feel as though I would like to take some time out get in the right frame of mind before getting myself into another job. My doctor has also offered me a note and said if work is making me feel like this then it’s advisable to take time out.

I think I will speak to someone from UC next week and discuss the situation, hopefully they can advise me.

employer has moved me etc, but there wasn’t much of a issue before it’s literally problem after problem since I’ve returned from JS. I can feel the tension and it’s really draining.

OP posts:
chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 10:47

If its part of a wider picture I would ask to be signed off for stress and use that time to find another job. Alternatively don't quit as you won't get benefits if you make yourself out of work.

Jalisco · 09/07/2022 11:46

chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 10:47

If its part of a wider picture I would ask to be signed off for stress and use that time to find another job. Alternatively don't quit as you won't get benefits if you make yourself out of work.

I would agree with this - I would never contact the DWP and ask them what they would do if you resign from your employment. These are people who lie all the time and are experts in denying people benefits. If you genuinely can't cope with working then get the sick note.

But I would have to point out that the trail of threads about this pre-date your jury service. And I appreciate that you may be struggling, or that they are perhaps unhappy about the amount of time you had off (albeit it wasn't you fault) but I can see arguments on both sides here. Your colleagues, whether it was your fault or not, had to cover your absence, and in a smaller store with fewer staff which was something that was your choice. Pressures are not just one way - everybody has them. I do think it's time to move on for you, but it would perhaps be better to try to use some time off sick to take stock and start applying. You might think that you aren't ready for another job yet, but it is easy to go from that point to never having another job again. It will get harder to go back to work, not easier.

Whatever the faults on either side in this situation, your pre-existing anxiety won't go away, and it fuels everything. It is fuelling how you feel now about work. If you simply walk away with nothing else, it will fuel your doubts about new employment. And if you end up on benefits it will still fuel your worries - and worries that will be exacerbated by the current economic and cost of living worries. Don't rush into decisions that you don't have to. Sign off sick. Look for some other work. If that doesn't happen then you are going to end up on benefits anyway. But don't invite a life on benefits, especially not right now. You deserve better than that.

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