So I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. Got significantly worse during my last 6 months of nursing studies.
My first job as a nurse I stuck out for a year until I couldn't handle it anymore so I moved to a less acute department (however can still be acute at times). Then during the height of covid I fell pregnant and was redeployed to a non-patient facing role until the start of my maternity leave. Now I'm back in the less acute department mentioned earlier.
Throughout this whole journey my anxiety has got worse and worse. They are mainly around worrying that a patient is going to die under my care. Like to the point where I worry about it in the middle of the night. It's not normal because (thinking rationally) I know that the likelihood of them dying is not very high.
I'm currently off work trying to manage this (having therapy, awaiting counselling, trialling medications).
I'm just wondering how many others experience this type of anxiety, or have done in the past?
I'm not sure if this is fixable or not and whether to just call it a day with nursing and look for a career elsewhere.
I absolutely love what I do and when I returned from mat leave, a lot of the patients remembered me (after not being there for almost 2 years) and were really happy to see me which was so rewarding. I'm just not sure what to do