Do I stay put or retrain?

[EllaBella41]

For the past couple of years I haven't hugely enjoyed my job. It is high pressure, results driven and sometimes working with difficult people. I am forever wondering if I should just throw the towel in and look for something else as I feel so stressed and unhappy sometimes.

The things stopping me at the moment are firstly my salary - I like the income I have and also don't want to limit my earning potential or put myself at risk in the future if I ever split with DP. I also feel that maybe I should just suck it up as surely every job is stressful. Would be great to hear thoughts.

No advice for you but I’m in the same position and not sure what to do either…

It depends on so many things - do you plan to take any family leave in the near future / how long did your training take to do your job and how long have you been doing it / are you public sector or private because advice is likely to be different if you are for example a paramedic to if you are in corporate banking…

But to answer very broadly - does it have to be so absolute? Could you explore re-training part time rather than quit immediately? (And if you’re in a final salary pension, personally I would try every other option before walking away from it).

Do you have an idea what you would retrain as?

Could you use your existing skills to do something less stressful?

Im feeling exactly like this. Im starting to think all jobs that pay a decent wage probably have their stress points. I want the salary - well need it, only one income right now - but not the accountability.

Im thinking of going to see a life coach - but maybe that will just be money thrown away, theres no magic answer.... is there?!

Just to add detail I didn't have any specific training other than on the job. Basically just needed my degree to be considered so nothing special. I am hoping to be able to start a family in the next few years but also not sure if it is the most family friendly job- seen a few colleagues have a tough time in this industry due to lack of flexibility and need to do 5 days a week (or cram into 4).

I could definitely explore retraining - my thought process is very black and white and all or nothing so good to remind myself I don't have to be.

I have thought about horticulture but I must be honest I have nothing to offer there at the mo other than interest!

@GreatGatsby212 I have thought about a careers coach but only browsed!

Ok, some more thoughts then (obviously feel free to ignore anything that doesn’t fit):
— every job does have things in it that some people find stressful, but others won’t. So the trick is to find the job that fits you, in that you find the hard bits challenging, rather than stressful.
— what do you do already to handle stress? I’m not at all saying you should put up with horrible amounts of stress. Having some things that you know you enjoy / restore your energy / re-balance you, is going to put you in a better place no matter what you choose for your career.
— if there’s a career you’re interested in, it’s worth asking around in case anyone you know also knows someone in that field. Asking them for a chat / the chance to shadow them, is cheaper than a career coach
— there’s a bunch of stuff that studies have shown affects how much we enjoy our jobs. I can’t remember them all, but some are the amount of autonomy you have, the amount you see the impact of your work, and that your work matches your personal values. It could be worth starting with those, to help identify some jobs you might enjoy?

Great post @anotherneutralname

OP maybe you could split a page down the middle and write down the activities and situations that make you stressed on one side and the ones that make you feel happy/ relaxed/ empowered on the other.

For example I am an accountant and i get stressed by conflict and by being responsible for problems with no straightforward solution, but I am in my peaceful spot building spreadsheets so I am trying to get work where I can mostly just build spreadsheets and not take the problems of the company onto my shoulders.

Stay put AND retrain.

Speaking from experience, taking a pay cut is a very hard pill to swallow. I was in a very high-stress job but with high pay. I took a leap of faith and switched into a completely different sector doing something completely different. I didn't enjoy it, and was also earning hardly anything. It was honestly such a huge regret of mine that I'd gone in so blindly.

Luckily, I managed to return into a similar role. Stress is still bad but I'm earning well again and it puts me at ease knowing that I'm confident in my job, and I have a feeling of security amidst the rising cost of living.

I'm retraining on the side to give me more options in the future, should I need them.

Every job can be stressful. The vast majority of well-paid jobs are stressful as you're likely to be managing people and/or having more responsibilities.