Broke down ..…

[CoffeeWonderful]

I had a particularly stressful day at work and on speaking with the leader in our team, found myself breaking down. It was during a 1 to 1 and I understood the conversation was between ourselves. I now believe it wasn’t as the manager at head office had been very off with me. Even online I found her dismissive of me at team meetings.

The incident happened three months ago and not only do I feel embarrassed at crying, I’m feeling like the weakest link. I am looking for another job as I just don’t feel supported in this role. I have an interview coming up, just hope I get it.

Not knowing what the leader in the team has said to the manager has made me very uncomfortable and I feel I can’t trust her anymore.

How do I show I’m together now and not let them know I feel so embarrassed?

Was the reason you broke down to do with them not being supportive? Without being outing what were you upset about?

There was a mix up as regards who was going into the office. I misunderstood and thought it was my colleague when it was me. It left the team with no admin there and I felt foolish. Also my DD is going through a MH issue, this stresses me out although she does seem ok now. She spent a week in hospital following an OD. I’ve told no one. I felt as if my world was caving in and started crying. I really feel unsupported generally but can’t seem to pick myself up. I’ve got an interview at the end of the week but know I need to feel more in control.

I fear people see me as a flake and just wish I wasn’t so emotional.

It will have been the "misunderstanding" that left you not showing up for work that marks you out as the weakest link, not the crying in the 1-1?

I'd second this. If, and only if, you are right! It sounds like you are having a shitty time all round, and sometimes that means we see things that aren't there. But my advice is, tell your manager what is going on. They cannot support you if they don't know. You have nothing to lose if you've already started looking for another job. But nothing you've said makes me think they are monsters. Just tell them.

Put in a formal meeting to ask her what the issue is. It’s such a shame that some poor managers make people feel like this when in reality they should be doing everything they can to support their staff.
Always remember that they need you! It’s unacceptable to be ‘off’ with you because you either mixed up work days or got upset.