Does anyone else struggle with this politics here or have any advice to add?
I work in one and have had a few annoying things happen recently.
- went to a small internal event with all younger men (some of whom I consider work friends / acquaintances - we chat and grab lunch together occasionally, they’ll message me for chit chat) and one of them said when I arrived “would it be really offensive to say XYZ now Rororoooo has arrived?” And started sniggering. I rolled my eyes and laughed, asked what he meant by that. His response was that it “wasn’t about me”. But has given me a complex and I really hate the whole all boys / locker room talk.
- in a recent appraisal which went very well otherwise, I felt that my appraiser unnecessarily kept praising my own mine report and how at ease he was in social situation, comfortable in himself, socially confident, how they got so lucky hiring him. I just felt a bit unfairly compared to a junior male colleague who has fit in like a glove because, yes, he is good socially but also he is joining a workplace of people exactly like him. I felt like the subtext was that I am not like that.
- some women I work with mentioned that one of our male coworkers kept ordering them about when they started and that they had to have frank conversations about him not being their boss. I have found him very challenging too but haven’t admitted this. I find it depressing that he has never been challenged on his atttude towards junior female colleagues and instead we have to “put up with it”
there are many things I like A LOT about my work. But it’s hard to get past these and to feel like I’ll never fit in, I’ve been there about a year and I feel like a smooth start where I was happy and cheerful and confident then petered out and now I’m less confident and more nervous around them. I just want to be back to my normal happy self but I know I’m seen in a different way now