Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Is this burn out? I feel like I am going insane

10 replies

Forresttheout · 14/06/2022 07:05

Looking for some tips on how to handle this but work is ruining my mental health. Last week I took 5 days leave, during the leave I was called multiple times a day, with repeat calls when I ignored them. At one point I left my phone off and went out for lunch with DH to try and escape it only to return to 4 calls from the same person. As we where driving back I found myself day dreaming about crashing the car, not killing or seriously hurting anyone but how nice it would be to perhaps have a broken bone or whiplash or concussion or something minor that would mean I could spend a few days in bed in peace. I have realised this is not healthy and that over the last 6 months such day dreams have been getting more and more frequent, every weekday I wake up feeling dread and have to spend 10 minutes in the shower trying to control my breathing.
I however have no idea what to do, we cannot afford for me to quit work, due to visa issues (not in the uk) I am unlikely to find another Job. I am working for a small/medium company that has poor management and isn't doing great financially therefore a lot of responsibility that shouldn't be mine is dumped on me, I have become the oh 'forrest' will do it person but I feel like I can't say no and set boundaries because if I do they will just let me go and find another mug who will do 1000 things not in their job description for pathetic pay. Unemployment is a big issue here they will find someone to replace me and I think they take huge advantage of that.
I have discussed this with DH and he is due to get a promotion next year with a pay increase that will mean we can afford for me to quit and not bring in any money while I look at going freelance, finding a new role etc. But the thought of having to withstand this for another 12 months is to much.

OP posts:
GreatCrash · 14/06/2022 07:08

They definitely shouldn't be calling multiple time when you're on annual leave. Can you just keep saying "oh I'm on leave this week, someone else will have to deal with that"?

Forresttheout · 14/06/2022 07:12

@GreatCrash I tried that the first day, it didn't stop the calls so then I just took to ignoring them but I was getting so anxious about the shit show I was going to have to return to it was easier in the end just to take the calls and sort out the issues. The managing director is very much of the opinion that management staff need to accept working outside of contracted hours is normal etc. that I knew if I just ignored everything and returned to a complete mess I would be blamed. I think I would find this mentality less infuriating if I was actually compensated properly for my time and experience but i'm expected to be a manager on a junior wage.

OP posts:
tanstaafl · 14/06/2022 07:34

If you’re set on leaving, I’d treat the next 12 months as your own personal training time on assertiveness, time management, other qualities that will make you even better in the future.

I’m not saying you tell everyone to f*ck off next week - you want to be there 12 months! - but begin to practise techniques bit by bit that benefit you and benefit other workers coping abilities.

because yes, you’re burning out.

Forresttheout · 16/06/2022 08:07

I am pretty set on leaving as this has been getting worse and worse for the past 3 years now and I've lost all hope of anything changing. Using it as my own training time is a good idea.

OP posts:
KleineDracheKokosnuss · 16/06/2022 08:10

Tell them that since you didn’t get a holiday due to all their calls, you will be taking those days in the future. You have to set boundaries.

but yes, you need to leave. Places like that don’t improve.

Yodaisawally · 16/06/2022 08:22

Do you have separate phones for work and personal?

Forresttheout · 16/06/2022 13:56

@KleineDracheKokosnuss I wish I could do that, they would probably just let me go on the spot if I did. I spent some time yesterday thinking about going freelance and compiling a list of all the skills I'd need to perfect etc. going to try and take the advice above and focus this next year on using the time to perfect those skills while gritting my teeth whenever my boss opens his mouth.
@Yodaisawally I have separate sim cards but they are both in one phone, I feel I can't just turn off one sim while away as if theirs some sort of urgent issue and I don't answer I get a lecture when I return because 'responding to emergencies is part of being a manager' Basically the managing director thinks nobody should be allowed a life outside work because he doesn't want to pay for enough staff to cover when someone is away

OP posts:
Mamahotfoot · 17/06/2022 08:03

I can sympathise with the situation you’re in but it’s not going to be ok to stay for another 12 months. I don’t know where you are in the country so can’t comment on the job market where you are. However I can tell you that at present there are nationally more vacancies than applicants and that it is a job seekers market. Have you got a cv? could you spend some time thinking about your undoubted range of skills and the sort of job you would like to have and then take a day or two just to focus on getting your cv out to recruitment agents, visit the job centre, look at the vacancy page of any organisations you like the look of. Don’t let lack of confidence stop you from trying. Your present employer doesn’t deserve you!

Forresttheout · 17/06/2022 08:53

@Mamahotfoot I appreciate your reply but I am not in the UK I am in 'developing country' where the level of unemployment is huge and consequently my visa is very restrictive on the type of roles I can take. I moved here to be with DH but immigration laws mean I am not entitled to permanent residency for several years after marriage. In 12 months time our income should be higher and I will be eligible for a different class of Visa. If I quit now I can stay only as a dependent meaning I can't legally work and currently our income can't support that so I am kind of stuck
I think my employer knows i'm stuck and takes advantage of that

OP posts:
FinanceLPlates · 17/06/2022 18:32

That sounds awful OP. I don’t know if remote working for an employer who is based in a different country might be an option? No idea of the legal/visa/tax implications so I suppose you would need to check that out carefully. However there are now many more roles where eg a U.K. employer might consider someone working from elsewhere (as long as you have reliable Internet and there are no online security concerns about the country you’re based in).
A long shot but many employers are desperate to recruit atm so there might be options?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page