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Original poster

Extremely Bossy Colleague

17 replies

MrsWarboyss · 13/06/2022 17:39

I work with an extremely bossy colleague. We're at the same level and do the same job but she constantly tries to boss me around and tries to tell me to do things. She seems to be able to do as she likes; we are supposed to stay in our area as we are dealing with clients that walk in but she disappears off for up to an hour at a time walking off to other departments, leaving me to deal with clients single handedly. She also tries to delegate all the less good parts of our jobs to me. Oh and butts in very rudely when I'm dealing with clients 'correcting' me (in her opinion!) and taking over my interaction.

I am an assertive person but no matter how assertive I am she continues doing it day after day, even ordering me around in front of clients. I've spoken to our manager who said 'Oh she's just a bit like that, bless her'. He seems to be happy for me to pick up the slack when she's off talking at others and is always on my back asking if X, Y and Z is done. I've asked if he'd have a word with her about her bossiness and wandering off and he said no as it would only make things awkward in the office.

How do I deal with her?

OP posts:

WetWilly · 13/06/2022 18:14

Are you me??? Exactly the same here with a bossy colleague - they do it more when management are around so I now say - I’m super busy can X wait. And when they really piss me off I reply I’m ignoring you until you say please - why are some people so up their own arses. Piss off it’s a job FFS

Original poster

MrsWarboyss · 14/06/2022 11:13

Exactly! It's not even a career-type job. We're both receptionists on £10 an hour

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 14/06/2022 11:43

This is where you could do with a public announcement system where you can trigger "would Jane return to reception please" every time she disappears. Your boss is incredibly weak.

Original poster

MrsWarboyss · 14/06/2022 14:26

Yes! We need a tannoy! And yep, he's a total wet weekend

OP posts:

Paq · 14/06/2022 14:33

Change jobs? There seems to be loads out there.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 14:40

Paq · 14/06/2022 14:33

Change jobs? There seems to be loads out there.

Yes I would do this.

The manager won't do anything about it then there is nothing really that you can do do unless you want to argue with her in public.

The other thing you could do is tell her that you are not happy to be left on your own while she is wandering around the office and say that if she continues to do that then you will do the same and she can see how it feels to be left having to cope with everything.

Also next time she delegates work to you you need to say that you are on the same level.

The problem is that if you do this it looks like you will be seen as the troublemaker has the manager just wants an easy life.

So I would look for another job as life is too short to have to put up with someone like this

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 14:42

I remember when I was in my 20s that the people I worked with would make long personal calls as soon as the manager left the office.

This meant that I had to deal with any incoming calls.

I just put up with it but I would have call them out on it now that I am in my 50s

Original poster

MrsWarboyss · 14/06/2022 19:08

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 14:40

Yes I would do this.

The manager won't do anything about it then there is nothing really that you can do do unless you want to argue with her in public.

Also next time she delegates work to you you need to say that you are on the same level.

The problem is that if you do this it looks like you will be seen as the troublemaker has the manager just wants an easy life.

So I would look for another job as life is too short to have to put up with someone like this

Show quote history

I've tried going off for walks myself but she makes such a fuss. If I even go to the loo she asks where I'm going and tells me to hurry up because we've got work to do

OP posts:

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 19:23

MrsWarboyss · 14/06/2022 19:08

I've tried going off for walks myself but she makes such a fuss. If I even go to the loo she asks where I'm going and tells me to hurry up because we've got work to do

Show quote history

Can't you do the same to her?

Everything she does to you you need to do to her and if she says anything just say well you did the same to me.

Preferably do it straight after she has done it to you so she can't deny it.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 19:25

Also I would keep a note of every time she goes off and how long she is off for and then when she denies it you can show her your log.

And to be fair you should do the same for yourself so keep a log of everytime you go off or go to the loo or whatever so that you are being fair to both of you.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 19:27

And if she still denies that she is taking lots of time off and not pulling her weight then I would send her an email every time she goes off somewhere saying you have gone off now. Then send her an email when she comes back saying you are back now and then she can't deny how long she has been away for.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 19:27

And if she still denies it then send her an email saying you have gone off now if you haven't gone off please reply to my email if you haven't replied to my email then I can assume that you have gone off.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 19:28

Also you need to start giving her things to do just like she does to you.

Again keep a note of everything she asks you to do do and then she can't deny it and if she does deny it then again send her an email saying this is what you asked me to do and I'm going to ask you to do some things.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 19:29

You either have to tackle her yourself as your spineless manager isn't going to do it or you need to leave.

If it was me I would leave because it's just not worth working in a company where someone like that can rule the roost and no one does anything about it.

And I'm sure but if you do leave you will get a much better job in a much better company.

AmandaHoldensLips · 14/06/2022 19:32

Ask her, "Are you a bossy nightmare at home too?"

SteakExpectations · 14/06/2022 19:39

I think it depends how big the company is -
do they have a HR dept? If so, dig out the grievance procedure and submit your grievance in writing (as you have already raised it verbally).

If no HR dept, you could try telling you manager that either he deals with it or you’ll leave, or just straight up leave.

gonnascreamsoon · 15/06/2022 13:16

Every single time she goes to 'wander off' I'd be saying 'Where are you going ? Exactly how long will you be gone ?' and then 'Well hurry up, because we've got work to do !' Every single time !

When she arrives back after being away 'What took you so long ? Why did it take you an HOUR ? You can't just up and leave reception leaving all the work for ME to do !' Every single time. Also keep the 'log' of when she's away VERY obvious and visible !

When she 'interrupts' you with customers ? ' Excuse me ? It's VERY rude of you to butt into my conversation. Please mind your own work, and leave me to mind mine !' Every single time. Just keep staring at her after you've said it until she finally fucks off. If she still tries to talk to the customer, say 'I've already TOLD you to continue with your OWN work, and to leave me to do mine, so please leave now.'

When she tells you to do something ? 'No, you can do it, I'm busy with my OWN work.' and 'If it's that important to you to do it right now, then YOU'LL need to do it, because it's YOUR job as well as mine !'

Also, ready with 'I can manage my OWN work 'timetable' thank you !' and ' That's a job we BOTH have to do, so I'll do 50% and YOU can do 50%.'

If the Manager tries to 'have a word' with you about your new strategy ? tell him 'That's just how I am I'm afraid, I can't keep silent when a colleague is taking the piss !'

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