What to do with frustrating colleages.

[LaMadrilena]

Colleague A is brilliant at what he does, but is also absolutely snowed under. Hes also the class clown, and can be difficult to work with, because everything has to be done his way. Hes been (rightly) very frustrated recently with the way our company does things - lack of resources, overwork etc.

Colleague B is supposed to be helping A. He doesn´t have nearly as much experience, and hasn´t progressed much in 2 years helping A - no initiative, leaves things late, needs his work checking by A. Hes also a bit over-sensitive on a personal level. He often complains hes too tired/hungry to do a task and has to eat/rest first. He hasn`t told me of any specific health issues.

Im their line manager. B has just called me in tears because A has apparently shouted at him and said some things that he found offensive, and its not fair because he isn`t well. I called A to get his version, which is that he just told B a few home truths. But A did go off on a complete rant when I suggested that he talk to B, because on a practical level, they have to keep working together. He got so unprofessional that I hung up and told him to call again later.

I hate managing people. What do I do with these two? Theyre honestly as bad as each other. My feeling is that A is right in what he said, but B is right in that there were far better ways to say it. Honestly, its like working in a primary school sometimes.

Any fantastic people-managing strategies for these situations?

Refer colleague B to OH, either there is a reason behind the having to rest at work or he’s overwhelmed.

Colleague A look at your discipline policy, investigate what was said to B that was offensive and his unprofessional behaviour towards you. I know it’s probably frustration, but it’s still unacceptable behaviour.

Talk to colleague A and establish the factual issues with Bs work, is he just not up to the job? Once you have outcome from OH consider if B needs performance management.

Bring in a mediator to work with A and B to address the “home truths” in a kinder way and to repair the relationship.

Yes management is hard but clearly this has been brewing for a while.

If you hate managing maybe the issue is you.why is he so snowed under?

There is a lot to unpackage here. But basically you are their manager so start managing. Managing other people is a lot harder but also far more rewarding than just doing your own tasks. Have you had any management training? Sounds like you need some

This sounds like it has been building up for a while and involves at least an element of a personality clash. How big a team do you manage? If A is overworked then a) can you reassign tasks so they have a more manageable workload or b) give them person C who is competent to work alongside them to get the work done to reduce their stress.

Sorry, half my message disappeared there! I'll try again.

Sorry, half my message disappeared there! I'll try again.

Okay A was possibly unprofessional in how he spoke to B, that remains to be determined. However if in two years B is not progressing, lacks initiative and misses deadlines why are you not managing this? Are you having appraisals with him, is he on a performance management plan? Part of the downside of management is that you have to actually deal with this kind of thing!

FFS. Mumsnet is unusable on my phone at the moment.

Anyway, three aspects to this. I'm assuming you work for a decent sized organisation, I know if you don't some of this will be harder.

If you are new to managing then get some training so you have some tools to use. Try and be more positive about managing, as I said above it can be incredibly rewarding. I love seeing people get more confidence as they gain experience in their roles. But also, try and think how incredibly shit it must be to work for a manager who doesn't like their job and constantly avoids doing it. You owe it to the people you manage to be fair and honest with them and to care about them and their work life.

So person A. How offensive were they? You've said they are difficult to work with, does this mean they have upset people before? They obviously upset you enough that you also put the phone down on them (as an aside you shouldn't have done that. I'd have said 'I can hear how frustrated you are with this situation. However I think you need some time to organise your thoughts so why don't we continue this conversation in an hour'). Speak to your manager or HR about if this is serious enough to start having a formal behaviour management plan for them. As far as the overwork goes you need to work with A to develop a plan to get their workload down by changing resourcing or changing the way you work to streamline tasks. You should be advocating for them to your manager and kicking up a fuss about the impact on your workers.

Person B. Get them working with someone else to see if their performance improves, I suspect they will not improve while working with person A now that things have come to a head. I've seen quite weak performers improve dramatically if they move to another role or team where they are happier. If they still don't improve speak to HR about putting in place a performance management plan. As the PP said speak to A (and anyone else B works with) to identify the weaknesses in B's performance but make sure it's factual since there is clearly too much emotion between these two. Also speak to B about how what support they think they need to improve their performance. How many days sick are B taking, that can often be an indicator of unhappiness at work?

I think it’s a bit of a crap manager that blames everything on ‘personality clash’. If they are snowed under why are they snowed under? What are doing to help rather than what sounds like putting them against each other.

Manage the issues first and see what happens rather than the classic mis management of trying to manage the reactions and fall out of what sounds like a stressed out team due to work load and stress.

*pitting not putting

It rather sounds as though its them managing you instead of the other way round.

"Im their line manager."
"I hate managing people. What do I do with these two?"
Realise that the problem is your management. Or lack of

Apologies if this seems like a drip-feed, that wasn't the intention, but to answer some of your points:

People saying I'm not very good at managing, you're absolutely right. I don't have the character for it. The task was foisted on me when the last manager left, and I now do both my and her jobs for less pay than she got... But you're right, I owe it to my team to be better. I do care about them (sometimes too much) but find it hard to put my foot down. I'm on anti-depressants due to work issues. The problem is there is allegedly no budget to put someone else above me, and if I left (I put 10€ on Euromillions this week, so here's hoping...) there is practically no one in the country that could replace me in all aspects of the non-managerial parts of the job. That's not me being big-headed, it's just we're very specialist.
This is a small organisation (25 people) not in the UK, so no OH, no HR, no appraisals, no improvement programs... This is a struggling company in a grubby Spanish industrial estate. We're about 30 years behind the UK in that sense. The company boss is very much of the "You get paid every month, what more do you want?" mindset.

I hung up on A because he started talking about his balls (Spanish way of saying how little importance he gave to what I was saying). I didn't get angry or hang up in a huff, just let him know that that wasn't an appropriate way to speak. And when he continued, I said I was hanging up because I didn't want to know about his balls and that we could speak later. We spoke later, and he carried on in the same vein.
And this is why I was looking for a miracle solution...
Anyways, to update. A didn't speak to me for 3 days. He's now fine. I spoke to B to see how he was, and he apologised for being over sensitive. They are working together as usual.

Thanks for your points. I know I need to improve.

"there is practically no one in the country that could replace me in all aspects of the non-managerial parts of the job"

If you get a job offer elsewhere would they give you a pay rise to stop you leaving?

Not necessarily. I have a pretty hefty no-competition clause (can`t go to the competition or pretty much any related company within two years of leaving).

Is that clause enforceable though? Often these things are not enforceable...

If you want to manage them theres loads of resources online...

If you dont i would just keep kicking it over to your boss....if your not being paid as a manager why do it..

Its not your company ....

For starters I would sit A down and tell him his behaviour is completely unacceptable and that if he cannot behave professionally then it will need to go down the disciplinary route.

It being just the way he is is not an excuse and it isn't fair on B to expect them to put up with it.

Then I would look at Bs work and if they are under performing, look at any training they may need.

You need to start managing the issues with B's performance better because its got to the point your best worker has completely lost his shit with frustration at the ongoing situation and lack of B's progress/coping abilities.

Other than a word about not blowing up at people, I suspect A probably deserves a bit of an apology for your lack of action on B.