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Disciplinary looming at work, but are they going to sack me now?

38 replies

ErmineAndPearls · 07/06/2022 14:44

I'm a teacher in an independent school. I've been having problems for a couple of years, largely due to the menopause, I think. I wasn't previously this disorganised, forgetful, knackered mess. There's no doubt that I've been underperforming. I look at my colleagues and I just don't know how they do it. I'm overwhelmed.
My line managers know this and they've been trying to support me. I've had occupational health appointments and they've given me an easier timetable. It hasn't made enough of a difference.
I was called to a short meeting several weeks ago with my three (!) managers. They said they were starting a process, that what was going on "wasn't sustainable". I basically need too much support. The Deputy Head said that she really hoped that this "didn't have to become disciplinary". There was a longer meeting a week later in which targets were given to me. I went off actually thinking that this could be a positive process.
Now I've been called to another meeting, this time to "discuss the targets" that were set. The email inviting me to this meeting has me worried sick. The previous emails said "feel free to bring someone with you". I chose not to, because I didn't want to seem defensive and I know these managers well. This recent email does not say I can bring someone with me. This email says that two of the three managers will be there (Head of Dept, Deputy Head of School) and also a woman from HR. Is this it? Are they literally going to sack me?

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 08/06/2022 09:08

Go for ill health retirement. Menopause ramped my anxiety up to unmanageable levels. You’ve already had adjustments which means you are following the process. 49% of people get it.
Or apply for Access to work. I had a support person for 2 hours a day from this.

MrsHamlet · 08/06/2022 09:09

I am a union rep for a teachers' union. You need to talk to your rep asap and you need to get them to accompany you to this meeting.

jessycake · 08/06/2022 09:29

I think you really need a drs appointment and blood tests in case it's a thyroid problem , that and the menopause can also strike at the same time.

PupInAPram · 08/06/2022 17:28

@Jalisco sorry, you are right I am wrong. It's unreduced pension for business efficiency or redundancy grounds and some or no reduction for ill health grounds depending on the impact of your illness. I should have checked before I posted. Apologies.

Meh2020 · 08/06/2022 23:57

Hi, try not to worry at this stage but do take someone with you.

I’ve noticed above that you said that you love the teaching but not the admin - what have you put in place to get on top of this aspect? I’m not being rude at all but this sounds like you just don’t want to do the admin which is part and parcel of the teaching role.

it might be worth having a think about the evidence you’ve gathered to demonstrate that you are improving in this area.

have you sought medical advice for your menopause symptoms and researched other things that might help in the interim.

WombatNo12 · 09/06/2022 00:08

Any chance you can be neurodivergent?

It's perfectly possible to manage but symptoms are worse during menopause. I got a coil sorted at a sexual health clinic when my GP messed up their ius clinic & wasted months. Much better & now combined with gel for hrt, big help.

Also people are right about a thyroid check, it can pack up at menopause, mine did!

Definitely look to get help. It's very likely to be physical stuff, even neurodivergent conditions are a lack of dopamine, so all can be helped.

Changedagain876 · 09/06/2022 00:29

Not RTWT but union, union, union.

eurochick · 09/06/2022 01:20

I don't have any advice but I do empathise. When I hit peri my ability to deal with admin just vanished. I've always been pretty organised until recently.

Dogroses · 09/06/2022 04:49

Can't offer any advice but just want to say I really feel for you and thinks it's brave of you to admit your shortcomings. There are not a lot of sympathetic people in the world and often menopausal women's very real experiences are dismissed, and the women ourselves. Really hope things work out for you!

ErmineAndPearls · 09/06/2022 11:36

@WombatNo12 I’m starting to wonder that myself. My brother has three young daughters, two of whom have recently been diagnosed with ASD/ADHD.

I thought I’d come back to the thread to say that I have had the dreaded meeting and it was fine, actually quite positive. They went through all the targets one by one and identified about half of them as having been met, with others still to be achieved. They set the next meeting for the middle of November. My Head of Dept in particular was really keeping the tone of the meeting really constructive and positive.

I felt like I was heading for a breakdown when I started this thread, but I was totally calm and philosophical about it by the time I had read all of your answers. Thank you all so much.

OP posts:
WombatNo12 · 09/06/2022 11:46

It's very heritable, so if you have relations with ND issues, then yes, best to look into it. I have a diagnosis and have changed things to manage better. Been really helpful.

Basically, teaching is easier because it interests you and the standing up presenting triggers the dopamine response. Admin/housework does not! :-)

AnnaMagnani · 09/06/2022 11:47

Pleased it went well but get yourself on HRT!

Antidepressants are not a substitute for proper HRT treatment.

WombatNo12 · 09/06/2022 12:23

Yep. Defo hrt. 👍

And if you're ND, antidepressants can be unhelpful but I can't remember why! 😁

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