AIBU to give up work for a bit?

[ReginaFilanji]

I am considering giving up my job. I work 29 hours with small children. I also have my own children one of whom as SEN and challenging behaviour.

I just feel like I don't ever get a break from children. I feel so exhausted and depressed and just don't have the motivation anymore. Our home life is so stressful I feel like not working I'd at least get some down time why they are at school.

There's also my dad, he had a stroke a few years ago and has been left permanently disabled. I feel like I should see him more and spend more time with him but between working and general stressful family life I rarely get the chance.

We will be fine financially and DP said he's completely fine whatever I decide.

Not BU at all. There'll be plenty of time for work. Family comes first.

Totally get where youre coming from but I wouldnt. You mention dp rather than dh so if the relationship breaks down youre more vunerable. What about your pension?

Changing jobs might be a better option.

Hi @ReginaFilanji
i am feeling like this at the moment. I feel totally overwhelmed with everything, work and home life being the mean factors. On paper it looks like I have the perfect job, school hours and term time but honestly I feel like I don’t get a minute to myself. I feel like work is main cause but I just can’t afford to not work. I don’t know what to do as it’s affecting my mental health. I was thinking of working a couple of full days and putting dc in child care. It’s like from the minute I wake up, dropping children off at school, racing to work, as soon as I finish I pick them straight up and it starts over again. I don’t know what the answer is but just so you know your not alone….it’s hard x

Yes, if you’re not married I’d say no. Look for a change in direction.

Don't give up work. You need pension contributions for the future.
If you end up on your own (nobody imagines this will happen to them) you will have no pension and be in a vulnerable position. Change your job to one that doesn't involve kids.

What do you do? How much do you get paid? How difficult would it be to get back into work. And how long do you propose to be out? How old are your DC? What's your pension like?

Quitting work is easy. Getting back in often isn't.

Quality of life with your family would be my priority, but as others say there are lots of things to think of
Are you married?
How does your partner feel about supporting you ?
How will the then "family" money be spent?
Do you have Pension?
Do you have savings if needed.

You can claim carers allowance which protects your state pension. I cut my hours with Sen child rather than leave entirely but my pension still took a big hit so I would suggest discussing with your dp that you still pay into a pension eg matching the contributions he is making to his, especially if you are not married. Are you getting DLA for the child?

Lots of food for thought.

DP is fine whatever I choose. He is fine with me not working for the time being. Not married but engaged. Plan to marry in the next 2 years. Currently enrolled in to work place pension only. Family money will continue as is. So anything left from DPs wage will go in everyday account for things like food, petrol and bits and bobs.

I work in early years. Not incredibly difficult to get back in to. Can keep up with legislation changes etc.

@MusicMagpie197 that's exactly how I feel! I feel like I'm on a carousel and it never stole

I don't claim CA currently because of earnings but he does receive middle rate DLA.

There are many people on here who were promised marriage and it didn’t happen.

I handed in my notice yesterday.

I already feel better.

I've decided to help look after my dad.

Instead of 'planning' to get married in a couple of years - get down to the registry office asap with two witnesses and protect yourself now that you are in an incredibly vulnerable situation.
Nothing to stop you having the big wedding in a couple of years. However you won't have two years whereby you run a risk of having absolutely know financial security.

Engaged has no legal status.

absolutely no - even

Well done ReginaFilanji. An excellent decision.

I quit work and spent time with my toddler and mum for nearly 3 years. I will always be grateful for that time I had with my mum before she died - we became so close and I loved giving her a bit of extra comfort, companionship, her knowing that I loved her so much I wanted to be with her. Even though we had our challenging days! If I could go back and do those years again, I absolutely would.

hope you find your mojo again, and remember that even on the days your dad drives you nuts and the kids have you tearing your hair out and things seem harder than before - you will treasure the memories from this time in your life.

Yes of course it's fine to take a break from work. It's only on MN that people get so weird about it. Although I do agree that it would be better if you were already married . I also have a child with SN so I totally understand what that's like

I understand its hard juggling but i’d never give up work completely as it makes you vulnerable particularly if not married. Maybe take a break for a few months and then get a new and different role when you feel you’ve had a bit of a break. I work 3 days so it works well managing teenager & elderly parents.