Boss cried on me ?!

[MrsTeaShore]

Has anyone else had this happen to them? My boss recently cried in a one to one meeting with me. Mainly relating to her stress relating to another employee. i ended up being the one coaching and consoling her instead of the other way round. Ever since I have felt a bit awkward and I kind of wished she hadn’t. I feel like I am now sharing the burden when I already had enough on my plate. I agree that we are all human and have feelings but I don’t think a manager should go that far. Especially in a corporate/professional environment. AIBU ?

Silver lining? You now have power.

I'm not saying be mean and use it against her. But she's going to feel so much worse than you about this.

Be graceful about it, don't mention it, and realise that she is the one who will feel the most weird. Bet she treats you nicely from here on in, and your gracious non-mentioning of the situation can only go in your favour.

Yes I have had this before and it's not a bad thing shows their human and also dealing with crap and stress and sometimes that boils over when overworked.
You don't have to share the burden just have a bit of empathy but don't be raising it just check they are doing OK.

I Understand your perspectives, but we are only human, and not borg, plus from a Machiavelli perspectives, gives you an edge for being considered in your bosses, inner circle so to speak.

I've had it happen when boss was going through a difficult time personally, totally fine we have both been through similar situations so could support each other. For your boss to do it regarding another employee is totally inappropriate, how would you feel about her talking about you in that way?

If she does it again I would try to steer her away from discussing the employee with you in detail and point her in the direction of appropriate support such as her own boss, another person at her level/a mentor or HR.

You now have power.

🤔 what a ridiculous, unprofessional, and inhumane statement.

Oh please, as if "gives you an edge" isn't the same thing.

I hadn't seen that as it was posted when I was typing my own, and I absolutely agree with you, both comments are the nearly same thing and as bad as each other.

I hope I never turn into the type of inhumane person whose first thought is to see a professional advantage from a person in distress.

My boss cried to me when her mum passed and also when ofsted came in. Didn’t make me feel awkward or anything, we spend so much time together we are friends.

It depends in why the person is crying.

I've also consoled and given my boss at the time advice on what to do, and a hug. But crying in front of one of your team about another member of the team would make me feel uncomfortable as well.

Hopefully it's just a once off, but if it happens again I'd cut her off and say it doesn't feel appropriate. I remember many years ago my make boss wanted to talk to me about something personal ( turns out he (married) was having an affair with another member of the team who was married as well), I managed to change the topic and got out quickly as I just didn't want to get involved in whatever was going on.

I need up crying on someone who works for me and actually it was the best thing as she understood how lonely I was and how difficult things were for me. Our relationship has totally changed for the better. I am fed up of the brave face and can manage anything look, we're all
Human

Just because someone is your boss it doesn’t make them better than you. They’re still human.
Anyone can get upset.
It’s good you have a trusting relationship where she felt she could open up to you.

I see why it's not ideal but as you said, everyone is human. The good thing you can draw from it is that she felt comfortable crying in front of you: she must trust you!

About twenty years ago I had a boss who was a terrrible bully and reduced her staff to tears on a daily basis. I stood up to her once, politely and the next time I saw her she started crying and saying she was past it and too old etc etc. it was a very uncomfortable environment and I didn’t stay long.

I cried in front of my team once, I'd just received a call to say my gran had had a massive heart attack and my mum was with her on the way to the hospital, but things didn't look good. Turned out it was an aneurysm and she died. They were very supportive and ushered me out of the door regardless of the fact it was a really busy time. If it's a one off, see it that she's human, don't mention it and move on. If it happens again just say you'd rather not discuss it as it involves another member of staff and it puts you in an awkward position. More than that take it up with HR

Christ we are all human whether we line manage or not

My gives you the edge, over a random person was in relation to being more of an indispensable asset to your boss, as some business books and courses, suggest when possible going the extra mile for your company is try to make yourself an indispensable asset to the boss or company as a whole.

Same as in the classic book how to win friends and influence people by dale Carnegie