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Original poster

Toxic workplace help

14 replies

WillfredJohn · 25/05/2022 23:20

Having taken a high profile role in a leading charity, I’ve had a torrid few years. My workplace ,which I joined a few months before Covid, has been a all time career low point. The company has an extremely toxic culture with several senior managers really responsible for this. I’ve watched great colleagues leave or be forced out due to an extreme bullying culture. When I took the role, I did spot some pink flags, but over the course of the last 6 months these have turned crimson red. The issue I have is that I’m increasingly feeling gaslit by others and that I have only one work friend that I confide in, who is in the process of leaving, and I don’t trust anyone else. It’s isolating and miserable. Does anyone have any words of advice or help. I think I’m struggling mindset wise to compartmentalise my feelings. I’m trying to find an alternative job but have not been lucky yet. I constantly feel paranoid, micro managed and it’s affecting my home life.

OP posts:
lisavanderpumpscloset · 25/05/2022 23:22

Keep looking; you'll find something.

Could you take some time off to your give yourself some headspace?

cheapskatemum · 25/05/2022 23:26

Are the charity's trustees in on the bullying culture?

Original poster
WillfredJohn · 25/05/2022 23:33

cheapskatemum · 25/05/2022 23:26

Are the charity's trustees in on the bullying culture?

It’s a very personality led place. And I’m not the sort to kick up lots of fuss. I think my main challenge is to not be outwardly negative and keep my thoughts to myself. Everyone I interact with generally feels like the organisation has hit a period of it being very dysfunctional, and has lost its way. There’s also been constant rumours of layoffs and sackings. So everyone is at a low ebb. The lack of transparency and continual HR/PR spinning of negative events has me feeling like I’m going crazy. It’s like no one dare utters the truth because then you get singled out and marginalised. My partner is just sick of me talking about it.

OP posts:
Crazylazydayz · 28/05/2022 10:18

Put your energy into finding a new job.

Rather than downloading to your partner could you write a journal. It’s important to download the frustration etc. but unfair on your partner, a journal allows you to download without impacting your relationship.

Original poster
WillfredJohn · 28/05/2022 11:18

Crazylazydayz · 28/05/2022 10:18

Put your energy into finding a new job.

Rather than downloading to your partner could you write a journal. It’s important to download the frustration etc. but unfair on your partner, a journal allows you to download without impacting your relationship.

That’s a really great idea. Thanks for the suggestion. 😊

OP posts:
mumonthehill · 28/05/2022 11:26

I was in a very similar situation last year in a charity. All very toxic, no ability to deal with poor management and a bullying culture. I stuck out for 18 months and was in a team of 5, all of us left within a 3 month period of each other in the end. We had constantly raised issues and little was done. We were all great at our jobs and it is their loss. More staff have left since and my replacement lasted only 6 weeks! I got another better role still in the third sector and the difference has been life changing. Keep a log of what is going on, report if you feel you can and look for another job. The whole experience really did dent my confidence and only now do I feel back to my normal self.

ninnynonny · 28/05/2022 11:35

I have worked in charities for at least the past 12 years and apart from a tiny one that I was CEO of, they have been possibly the worst places for toxicity and leaders being narcissistic bullies. At least I don't think I was a toxic bully! I have just left my last post after 6 years as it got to a point where all the good staff were being obviously managed out ( and yes, I include myself in that), to make way for the favoured few.. I would recommend you leave. No money is worth being that unhappy

ninnynonny · 28/05/2022 11:38

Trustees are another kettle of fish. They can be brilliant or they can be selected by the CEO as s/he will know they won't do anything. The ones at my last post were pretty much all new and carefully chosen by the CEO to be manipulated to CEO's viewpoint and methods

ninnynonny · 28/05/2022 11:39

WillfredJohn · 25/05/2022 23:20

Having taken a high profile role in a leading charity, I’ve had a torrid few years. My workplace ,which I joined a few months before Covid, has been a all time career low point. The company has an extremely toxic culture with several senior managers really responsible for this. I’ve watched great colleagues leave or be forced out due to an extreme bullying culture. When I took the role, I did spot some pink flags, but over the course of the last 6 months these have turned crimson red. The issue I have is that I’m increasingly feeling gaslit by others and that I have only one work friend that I confide in, who is in the process of leaving, and I don’t trust anyone else. It’s isolating and miserable. Does anyone have any words of advice or help. I think I’m struggling mindset wise to compartmentalise my feelings. I’m trying to find an alternative job but have not been lucky yet. I constantly feel paranoid, micro managed and it’s affecting my home life.

In fact , you could be at my last place!!

Original poster
WillfredJohn · 28/05/2022 12:40

It’s so counter to what I had expected. I guess I’d just been very lucky and never experienced anything like it before. I thought a charity would be such a positive experience and it’s been totally opposite. Thank you for all the warm and kind words, I’ll try and keep working on an escape plan.

OP posts:
flopsyandjim · 29/05/2022 18:42

is it a disability charity by any chance? If so, we may work in the same place. lots of unhappy people since March, if that makes any sense to you....

Original poster
WillfredJohn · 29/05/2022 20:05

Sadly it's not. But, what is scary is just how mainstream this sort of culture seems to be within chairites.

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 06/06/2022 15:04

Put your energy into finding another job and take time off if you can.

For what it's worth I had similar experiences at charity job and a close friend works in a similar area and feels awful and trapped in her job too.

Original poster
WillfredJohn · 06/06/2022 16:16

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 06/06/2022 15:04

Put your energy into finding another job and take time off if you can.

For what it's worth I had similar experiences at charity job and a close friend works in a similar area and feels awful and trapped in her job too.

Thank you for your comments!!!

OP posts:
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