When should I go back?

[Vic69]

Hi everyone

I've finally stopped lurking and become a member!
My first is due in April, and I am talking to my CEO about Mat Leave this week. I think we will be able to cope on one salary, so there's no financial pressure to a)work until the last possible moment or b) return as soon as I can, which is great, plus I work in the Voluntary Sector with a very flexible boss who is prepared to work around my needs.
So that's great, but I haven't a clue when to stop working - how many weeks beforehand? - or whether to aim to go back after 6 ,9 or 12 months. My job is not stressful, I'm having quite an easy pregnancy so far, and I've wanted this baby for ages.... BUT I do know that I may be desperate for adult company and another role after a while... Does anyone have any experience to share please?
Thanks!

I found I wanted to go back straight away! then started enjoying my dd at about 3 mths, when she got interesting....at 6 mths handed in my notice and started my own business, so I can be at home with dd!!! obvisously its down to individual preference, most of our antenatal friends, have gone back to work part-time around the year mark, when they feel they need a day or two's break from the kids! but don't want to be away all the time...I stopped work 5 weeks before hand, took 3 weeks hols owed in front of two maternity, which was plenty of time as I went 5 days overdue!

I think the important thing is that you really don't have to give firm dates at all and your workplace can't really pressurise you into it. Thay being said, it sounds like you have a lovely job and you'll want to be helpful to them and give them some idea.

My experience - decided to leave 6 weeks before bith first time, ended up with pre-eclampsia and delivered at 31 weeks so all the best plans go to waste. So the next time, aimed to leave about 8/9 weeks before, which I did. Anywhere between about 2 weeks to 8 weeks before would be 'normal' God, I hate that word....... As to when you go back - I went back about 6 months after each birth, but I would have taken 9 months if I could. If you are due in April, you'll probably be out until at least 2006. You might want to go back after Christmas as is a new year for everyone, so quite a good time to get back into it.... but the important thing to realise is that you don't have to committ to anything at this stage. Have fun and welcome to MN

Vic69,

I had my ds on June 04 and was due to go back to work in December but I decided to go back after 4 months.

The main reason for going back so early was so my dh could spend some quality time on his own with our ds and realise looking after a baby is not as easy as he thought. It has paid off as he now does some housework and dinner is ready for when i come home from work.

Left at 38 weeks (on the Friday - had ds on the Tuesday...), went back after 4 months - but I am breadwinner so needed the money....!

for me, once my girls were sitting up (ie 6 mths+) and before any major separation anxiety (close to 12 mths but earlier with dd2) ie came back to work 3 days a week when they were both 7.5 mths old. it's a very personal decision though..

I left work two weeks before due date, but had a very easy pregancy and small bump so no waddling to the bus stop. Ds was a week overdue, so ended up having three weeks, which I can honestly say were the strangest three weeks of my life. I really didn't enjoy the waiting, though I know lots of people really love that last opportunity you have to get time to yourself. As for going back, I went back full-time at 6 months. If I'd have had a choice I would have gone back part-time after 9 months to a year. Babies start to become really good fun at 6 months and I feel I've missed out. I think somebody else mentioned that you don't need to give firm dates about leaving or coming back.

I stopped two weeks before my due date and dd was 5 days overdue anyway so I felt I had lots of time to rest and relax. I watched lots of dvds and met my mum for lunch a couple of times and basically just chilled out. However by the time her due date came I was ready to get going, so was getting a bit fed up of waiting and by that time not being able to go much further than the end of the street on my own.
So if you are having an easy pregnancy I would not go for more than a couple of weeks.

Afterwards I think is really hard to say until after the birth. Everyone is different I think so its such a personal thing about what is best for you. I was due to go back at 6mnths but then the company folded. Very stressful time for me as I was all prepared etc. I have been doing some freelance work so dd has been going to a lovely nursery for 2 days a week recently and its been a lovely break for me and she gets to meet other children. She is now 14mths. I have to admit that I am glad how some of it has worked out because they do change so much after about 6mnths and are much more fun.

hope this helps

Thanks to everyone for all your thoughts. It was really helpful to read the comment that at 6 months babies tend to get more fun/interesting, so that clarified things for me.
In the end have decided to take 8 weeks off beforehand, to do swimming/yoga/buy things to put in the freezer etc, and then take 9 months after the birth. I've had quite a long time looking for work this year, and have done a mixture of full and part time jobs, so the idea of being at home all the time doesn't seem completely unfamiliar, which might help.