After work drinks on a Friday

[Crocsandshocks]

If your organisation had started doing these how likely would you be to go? I can never manage to go as they clash with my kids evening activities and I don't have a ready babysitter. I am a lone parent. I hope it doesn't make me look unprofessional. My boss commented that I couod make other arrangements so that I could come. It's not that easy! Just wondering how likely you would be to go to this kind of thing and whether you think it looks unprofessional not to go

I'd make the effort if it were the leaving do of someone I've worked closely with, or got on well with for some years, but I wouldn't be interested in 'going for a drink after work' on a regular basis (and I don't even have childcare anymore)

My work are arranging drinks about once a fortnight now we're wfh to try and get everyone together. I go maybe once every other month. Can't be arsed.

Where do you draw the line though? What if you end up getting on really well with a colleague? Do you just have a maximum quota of friends and once that’s full you don’t entertain the idea of any more?

Every so often it's fine - we tend to go for drinks on the last day of term for example for an hour or so. But every week would be tedious, and for many people impractical cutting into family life too much.

I get along very well with my colleagues, I think they are good people, but that doesn't mean they are "friends", and I don't want to blur that boundary. My "quota" of friends does not include coworkers.

When much younger I would go out most Friday evenings for a drink (I don't drink but water /vodka looks the same) after work. No pressure, people were not interested in what you were drinking just your friendship and chat.

Now at my grand age I do not mix with work folk outside of work. I dislike away days, team building nonsense and would never entertain a residential trip. Sometimes I have no other commitments but I just feel no urge to attend.

I also think there exits a judgement on people and their behaviours on nights out which are taken back into the workplace. I have seen these judgements used harshly against colleagues during the working day!

When was younger, I would go out every Friday will colleagues, drinking .

Fast forward a few years, now aged 51, menopause has hit, I've a trapped nerve arm and grumpy teens to deal with. So, come the end of the day, I just want to get home!

Ours rotate monthly between Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I’ve never worked fridays even pre pandemic so that made it 2 evenings a quarter for me, which I didn’t mind at all - it’s 8 times a year, hardly a huge commitment.

When I was a 21 year old junior whippersnapper who couldn’t afford to turn down free booze no matter how shite it was I used to go every time religiously and it was always really good for bonding. Now I’m a dull 30 something with kids but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate its good for the junior team members so I do put in a time-limited appearance for those 8 nights a year if I can!

I'd only go if they were my friends from work and I enjoyed their company. I wouldn't eat into my weekend with people i'd never speak to again if I left the job.

I'd only compromise on this if I was working from home all week and it was a way to bond with the team. If i'm stuck with these people in an open plan office all week I don't want to spend part of my weekend with them too (unless I genuinely enjoy their company).

Dazzledrop

We probably do a work night out 4 or 5 times a year, sometimes a Thursday but generally a Friday so that people don’t have work the next day if they’d like to have a few drinks.

Amateurs😂
Always have the hangover on company time!!!

Crocsandshocks
My boss commented that I couod make other arrangements so that I could come.

Regular boozey after work hours drinking for work is work for most people. Your boss is an idiot, if s/he wants to do regular bonding do a lunch.

And some bosses need to get it in their heads that some of their staff are introverts and don't want to socialise in groups.

I would have thought with more focus on health and well-being and diversity and inclusion as pp have said there would be different options for people who either can’t socialise outside work hours or aren’t interested in the alcohol element.

True, and I think there should be non-booze daytime activities, but I work in an industry where a lot of people relocate for the job, often from abroad and often quite young with no family/kids. Having something to fill their evenings is important for their well-being, so they’re not sat indoors alone/in some crappy flatshare with random strangers every night, even if as a 30 something manager with her own friends/family nearby it’s not for me.

I'm trying to think of a way to get out of going to our annual event, every week would be a nightmare.

I really don't like work social events tbh - but I do feel that unless I show my face sometimes it would go against me. So I'll show up, have 1 drink (non alcoholic as I don't drink) make sure I have a quick convo with all the people I should talk to and then run - so I stay roughly 1/2 hour. It just use it as a professional, relationship building thing, means to an end. I'm careful to take the approach of "Oh sorry I can't come this week" rather than "I can never make it" and I encourage anything we do which isn't pub/evening based too. Annoying but necessary every once in a while. To me it's just getting a box ticked rather than enjoying it!

I really enjoy socialising with my colleagues. They’re fun, interesting people and we all have a lot in common. But even I think every week is too much! We’re more like even third or fourth Thursday.

I'd be tempted to speak to whoever arranged them and make some suggestions for more inclusive events. Everyone should be aware of making the place of work inclusive and accepting of diversity.

I would go once a month

No. If an employer doesn’t pay for my time, then they don’t get to decide what I do with it. Had thought all this expected socialising after work had gone away.

THIS!

I do this at work. Bear in mind that I've been with the company for nearly a decade so they all know me well and know my personality and standpoint on work gatherings. So they just accept it, though it doesn't stop them from trying to plead with me every time. It may not go down as well if you've just started a job.

I don't think it's unprofessional at all though. After work, you are on your time. I don't know why there is such a huge pressure to socialise with your colleagues outside of work. I get on with my colleagues but it doesn't mean I'm going to sacrifice my personal life for them. I don't see anything wrong with that.