Should I go full time

[KCpip]

So I’ve continued to work throughout the time my kids are young. They are 7 and 4 now and I’m working part-time hours. Pretty much a 50% week. When I’m not working this means I’m home with my youngest on the days she doesn’t have nursery and I can do a lot of the school pick ups as my hours are flexible as well as part time.

The issue I’m having is that despite keeping a job going it feels like my career has slipped away partly I suppose because I’m not working enough hours to be taking any big strides in my career. I’m not 100% sure but there seem to be opportunities at work just now but I know none of them will come my way while I’m working so few hours.

At the moment I feel a little like I’m trying to have it all but instead not really having much of anything. Should I bite the bullet and go full time? Financially we’re unlikely to be any better off as my increased hours would just cover childcare but it might give me an opportunity to progress in future.

Has anyone in this situation taken the leap? How did you find it?

Hello, I hope you are well. Personally, I would stay part time. Yes the money will increase but the time you spend with your children is invaluable. I went full time after my youngest was 2 years old and now I wish I’d stayed part time. Just so I can mange the house more and have some me time too.

I was part time after DC1 and similarly when she was around school age - moved to full time. Totally regretted it after 6 months. Full time work with DC is very challenging. After DC2 I went part time (3 days) and after 4 years moved to 4 days. I have no intention to move to full time ever (if I can help it).

Can you move to 4 days instead of 50%? You will get the career opportunities you want to pursue at 4 days/week. But if I were you I wouldn't move to full time. Not worth it.

Is there a term time only preschool your youngest could go to a few days a week? That wouldn't cost anything term time.

I work 33 hours over 5 days so we use ASC 2 days a week and I pick up the other 3. DH does most of the drop offs.

I've always thought the problem with FT is if you want a bit of flexibility like going in to school for 30 minutes or similar you don't have much scope to make that time up without it all being a bit stressful. For me to pick the kids up and then do another hour at home if I need to is not a big deal, it doesn't mean we eat at 8pm or anything like that.

I would go full time when your youngest starts school.
I totally understand what you mean careerwise.

Go full time, but wait til your youngest starts school. Your partner will HAVE to pitch in & share all child responsibilities 50/50 though. None off the “his job is more important than mine” crap because that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy pretty fast.

I went FT when DC was 2.

for me… I am glad I did it as my career has done well over the last 4 years since going back FT and I can afford a lifestyle I couldn’t have when PT
but what’s been great is me and dh are genuinely a team we both pull our weight equally in all areas and none of us feel run ragged so we get to enjoy family time at weekends

I only have 1 child who is now 6 and I do feel I’m ‘out of the trenches’ and if the next step in my career came up now I would be in a good position to go for it

it depends what you want personally there is no right or wrong answer. It’s worked out well for me personally working FT, career goes well and home life is great but everyone’s circumstances are different

I was back full time after my second maternity leave as I just really wanted to be. It's OK to want to work more.

I wouldn't do it yet, they'll be starting school in september and you'll want to be there a bit more. Wait til Jan 2023, 6 months are going to make little difference t your career, but a lot of difference to your sanity/kids.

Very similar situation here, same age DC and DC2 starts school in September. I currently work 3 days a week but have asked to go up to 4 days. Hoping it'll be the best of both worlds with one day off to give me that flexibility but feel like an extra day at work will increase my visibility and ability to take on some bigger projects

I've been really lucky in having work where I've moved back and forward with part time and full time, my career isn't stellar, but it's more than just a "job".

My only advice is to honestly listen to yourself and what you need, there is absolutely nothing wrong with banking some work time, building your skills and prospects (as well as your pension pot!). Have an honest conversation with your partner and come up with a strategy that works for your family together.

Childcare and flexibility are important considerations of course, but so are your aspirations.

Definitely consider 4 days rather than FT. Increasing hours is different to decreasing, so you don’t have to fit 5 days work into 4.

Depending on the role, you may be able to switch working days to fit business and child care needs. For example if your NWD is Wednesday but there is a training course or important meeting you could offer to switch NWD so you can attend. Similarly if there is something on at school on a Thursday you could swap and work the Wednesday.

It depends on the circumstances and how much support you have. Do you have childcare for the school drop offs and pick ups plus holidays and half terms? If you go FT will your husband/partner do the equal share of childcare and household stuff. Will they step up when kids are off ill? My DH works long hours and has no flexibility so I worked PT until DCs were at secondary school.

You can’t have it all, it’s a lie.
If I were you I’d wait until after next Xmas, when your little one is settled in school.

Also think about what you will do in school holidays for childcare as they do get a lot of them. I never understand when people say go full time when they're at school. I find childcare harder as they get older as most childcare is term time only.

I do 4 days spread over 5, and that's working really well for me. I'm lucky that my husband can do school drop off, and then I'm able to do pick up 3 times a week (I'm a teacher, so my hours can't all be kept to 9-2)

Ive agreed to full time from September and I'm already absolutely dreading it tbh.

Do your employers have good work life balance policies? Maybe you could ask to job share if opportunities arise for progression?

I’d recommend going to a 30 hour week and working around school when your youngest goes into year R. That arrangement worked really well for me at that age.

I do work full time, with two kids aged 8&6. It’s ok - a bit stressful, but I mostly work from home and can juggle ok. My big driver for being full time is that I’m studying alongside work (a degree apprenticeship) and need the extra time for that. Otherwise working around school hours is great.

If you're both full tims will your child cope with breakfast and afterschool club every single day? There is only a handful that do that at our local school . What about as they get older and want to do swimming lessons/scouts/sport etc. Friend's birthdays.

I wouldn't have managed full time. But my career has also suffered. It is so tough.

I went back to work part-time when my youngest was settled in reception. A promotional opportunity came up a couple of years later and it was full-time.

Honestly, op, I have never worked so hard in my life as when I was part-time. I didn't feel justified to subcontract enough and literally dropped the DC to school, flew to work, dashed home at 2.30, spent 25 minutes as a whirling dervish unloading the dishwasher/washing machine, raced to school and from 3.30 until 6 flew about around activities and teas and sat down at about 9pm.

I got the promotion, I got an au-pair, I had a lunch hour. The au-pair did the dishwasher, ironed, tidied the DC's bedrooms, did the after school stuff, received the supermarket delivery, and did the after school stuff between 3.30 and 6 and cooked the children's tea. The cleaner did an extra session. Going full time also meant I was sponsored to take professional qualifications. (That was the hard bit with by then 2 dc at schools in opposite directions).

Admittedly I didn't see any financial benefit until the next promotion but it felt exponential when dd went to secondary school and we didn't need the au-pair any more. A few years later I moved institutions (quasi public sector) and am now a director.

I'm nearly 62 now op and the two biggest benefits are my pension which despite having a 7 year break will be 3/4 of an occupational scheme and the fact that dd has said "mummy you were such a good role model and you working made us be more organised".

I couldn't have done it if I hadn't worked locally. Always no more than 20 minutes from the furthest school.

I'm planning to go full time when youngest is in secondary school - I went up to 30 hours over a year ago from 22.5 and that was a big enough jump. Once secondary there's less of an issue with school holidays and illness, (I've left my life home alone if poorly from this age) at primary I think there's still so much that you physically struggle to fit in if full time / little things like dentist appointments etc that if full time you'd have to take time off for

• my Kids not my life !

You will always have opinions from other other people either for or against working full time. Only you and your DP/DH know whtas best for you and your family. What's manageable and what can be outsourced (cleaner, childcare, ect) it's a tough one and I know exactly how your feeling. I am due DC2 in 4 weeks, DC1 is 6 years old and is school. We manage school holidays with a mix of holiday clubs, grandparents and between DH and I. I love my job and refuse to let my career suffer so intend to go back full time, I WFH and have alot of flexibility. When I went back after my first DC I went back 4 days but was in the office with a daily 2hr communte which was hard. We are looking for a childminder for the baby after my 12 month mat leave finishes. Good Luck with what ever you choose.

I've only recently gone FT and progressed my career but mine are a bit older - key stage 2.

I know the horrible feeling of getting behind in your career. What I will say is when you are ready to pick your career up it will still be there waiting. I look back now and am glad I took my foot off the pedal when they were small although it felt at times like everyone was progressing in their career but me.

You literally can't have it all.

I've always worked pretty much full time, but I did go back to being self-employed when DD was about 9 as I felt she needed me around more after school to do play dates, take her to activities, and deal with the fall out of friendship stuff that seems to kick off around then for girls. It is difficult patching together childcare around school, but there is a period in the younger years IME where they need someone to look after them but it doesn't need to be you. You may want to consider this in how long you've got to progress your career a bit and whether you might want this greater flexibility later, which may be easier if you're higher up (or may be harder depending on your role and the norms in your line of work!)

I did go back to work full time when mine were that age, and my wages did just cover child care.
DH and I shared the holidays and sick days.
DC now are grown, very independent and focused on what they want.

My career has progressed, and while I don’t earn as much as DH, as a nurse specialist I earn a good wage. DC have seen DH support me with every step in my career by being there and sharing pick ups and drop offs equally. ( I did do more of the early morning swim training but he did the Friday evening hockey games).
This worked for us..
As PP have said, they are only little for a short period, but your career progression is important as well. You need to do what suits you.