I realise I am probably going to come over as Victoria Meldrew writing this.
I have ADHD and I cannot cope at all with extraneous noise (I can cope with listening to music whilst I work but that’s a noise I’ve chosen for myself, which is different). I am extremely unproductive in noisy environments and I also struggle with a lot of chit-chat and workplace chatter when I am trying to work. (I go to coffee break from time to time, which is a different thing)
I work in a staff room with around 15 other people plus people coming in and out of the room, wanting to talk to colleagues and as Madness would have said, there’s always something happening and it’s usually quite loud. There are doors at either end and a kitchen area as part of it so there is always something going on. People call across the office to each other, and some colleagues are really quite loud. It’s talking about – Gogglebox, football, Helen Skelton’s marriage, Coronation Street and Emmerdale, potty training, TikTok and the Christian Union, all in one afternoon. As I write this, the person next to me is having a Zoom meeting. One particular member has a terribly loud voice and it feels like it drills into my brain.
I’m a sociable enough person, but I don’t go to work to socialise and make friends, though I am friendly with the people I work with, if that makes sense. I’ll talk about last night’s TV whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, but that’s all. My friends would describe me as sociable and gregarious, but whilst open and friendly, I am not that way at work. I have always had a clear demarcation line between work and friendships, possibly because I have seen a lot of office politics and the terrible effect of it, and I don’t want to be part of it in any way. Mainly, I think, because I need peace and quiet to work effectively, and I don’t get it at work. Last Friday, someone left and they had Prosecco and cake in the office when I was on a Zoom call which I struggled with because of the noise. There is nowhere else to do a Zoom meeting privately.
I’m also not really part of the team in this room, though I do need things from them from time to time. I was put here when I started four years ago because there was a free desk owing to maternity leave, and that person didn’t return so I’ve stayed here. The people I work most closely with because of my role are in different offices all over the building but we meet when we need to. I don’t need them next to me.
I don’t know how to approach this as I have never disclosed I have ADHD. I also don’t want to look as if I am putting down my fellow office mates, or being elitist. The work I do needs concentration, and I need peace and quiet, and I don’t get it. I finish up taking work home which again is a struggle, as I need two screens to carry out the admin part of my role. And, really, why should I?
I can do my job perfectly well but I need peace and quiet.
I feel I am being difficult, but there are days I sit and cry because of the way this seeps into my head and jangles. I need to decompress when the working day is over too – which wastes time.
Sorry it has been so long. I am having a difficult afternoon!