How to get over a job?

[Summerloverr]

I recently left a job that became all consuming, wasn't healthy for me and left me with no work life balance.

I lived and breathed the job, I thought I loved it but really it became like an abusive partner I needed to get away from. Disfunctional, toxic management and a road to nowhere.

I have started a new job and I already feel things are much better, but I can't help but feel a bit of sorrow about my last job. Seeing the new person in my old role feels like seeing an ex with someone new!

How can I get over this weird feeling? It's just a job!

I can't offer any advice but I totally understand how you feel!
I've been out of my old job for a month now and at first it was an amazing feeling to be away from such a toxic environment.
But I'm hearing from my colleagues about how everyone in the team has stepped up, taken on more work, working hard - whereas, when I was there, everyone refused to do anything extra as they were so "maxed out" etc
Just feels upsetting that they've now all started becoming the team that I was desperate for them to be whilst I was working there.

I try to focus on the fact my new job pays so much better, much better benefits, better prospects etc.

I've recently moved teams and one of the reasons I was looking for another role was a team member who is incredibly difficult to work with. I've just discovered she's resigned and although I'm out of there now it feels really unfair that's she's going after she's made my life really hard for the last 18 months.

Yes I felt similar. I gave everything to my last job with very little recognition. I felt like I kept things going at a time when there was very few staff to do the work. Since I have left they have got more staff hired and work load is a lot less for people. I loved the job but it was unsustainable.

I totally get this. I think jobs are definitely like relationships and whenever I leave I always ball my eyes out - even when I know it’s the right move.

It’ll pass - you’ll start to reap the benefits of your new position and slowly you’ll be less and less bothered about your old place.

Just give it time.

Currently going through this. Treated very badly by my former employer to the extent I've got a legal claim pending against them for discrimination.

I've started a new job now but it's still on my mind a lot. I gave everything to them and they chewed me up and spat me out! I've come to learn that bad employers are more common than good.

New employer seems decent and friendly hopefully it's not just honeymoon.

Only time heals this things.

I've had this!! It's so weird isnt it, just that lingering feeling. Just give it time OP, you are likely suffering from burn out which can take a while to shift - it took me 2/3 months for the odd feeling to go away.

OP your situation really resonates. I agree re the abusive relationship analogy. I'm 2 months post-leaving and in a new role with more money and less responsibility, but can't relax into it yet.

In my case I was mauled so badly several people have suggested I get counselling. I'm sure they're right but my motivation has been too low to do anything about it. My self-confidence has taken a pounding, and I need to find a way to leave it behind. Since finding a private counsellor seems too daunting, I'm considering calling my new employer's Employee Assistance Programme. Maybe this would be helpful for you?

Very similar situation-left a toxic workplace run by incompetent, misogynistic management, liars and teflon covered pieces of shit.

Whilst my new job is loads better, I am treated with respect and like a human being sometimes I look back & think what if. Just need to move forward & not look back....