Wanting to return to work after being SAHM for 4 years

[WelshSinger3]

Hello, I would like some advice please.

I have been a SAHM for 4 years and now my daughter will be in full time school this september i have been urged to find work. I am studying part time for my degree but I want to go out there and earn a wage and not let my husband be the only breadwinner of the family.

The first problem is that my husband has been the sole provider and he works on certain days of the week that is sort of preventing me from getting a job. I was offered a temp job as an Exam Invigilator but my husband thinks i shouldn't go for it as it is only temporary and won't give me the experience i need plus now that he has an apprenticeship he doesn't know what days he will be working on his apprenticeship which leaves me in limbo. I want to say yes to the job as it gives me something to do even though it is temp work but my husband is skeptical about it. At the moment it feels from my point of view that my husband doesn't want me to work and just wants me to look after our daughter. He says he is not saying that but it sounds like it is. In this day and age where there should be no barrier to employment it feels like we're going backwards instead of forwards in regards to women working.

And the other problem is that we don't have reliable people who can care for our daughter while we work. My mum lives far away and doesn't drive while my SIL is nearby and doesn't work but will only do it for money and only if we take our daughter to her instead of her coming to pick her up.

I want to eventually work as a social worker for the children's department. Before I get that dream job i suppose my options are to work in a school or work from home. I don't like agency work as I have been messed around by agencies before.
I have tried Usborne as i like books but now I realise that i am not good at selling books. Just not sure what to do for the best. Any advice appreciated

Sympathy OP. Men are usually supportive of wives going back to work - as long as the wife can fit her work around her husband’s career, plus do all housework childcare school dropoffs pickups kid sick days etc.

You’re definitely not imagining the problem!

If you want to take the exam invigilator role, do it.

Figure out what you want to do and pursue it. Usborne isn't a career but you know that.

I say go for it too. You have sacrificed so many years being a SAHM, your husband should be supporting your choice to to take this job.

If you instinct is telling you to take this job, you should. Not every day you are offered a job that you like. Good luck 😊!

I'm a SAHM and I get it, I really do. However, in this instance, I think your husband may have a point. The exam invigilator job is only temporary and it isn't really related to your chosen career. You're already studying, which is a great start. If I was you I'd be looking at voluntary work or paid work in a more relevant field, perhaps as a teaching assistant etc.

take the invigilating role. It’s useful experience. You’ll have to follow specific procedures and it’s recent experience.

Yes take the job. It will show as recent experience on your CV. You will eventually need to arrange childcare - it's not limited to family members!

Apply for jobs you want not just stop gaps. I returned to work after a long period as a SAHM. However I gather there is a real shortage of exam invigilators at the minute so it could be lucrative.

Yes take the temporary job. It will give you experience and confidence for the next one. I'm in a similar position. I've been looking for a job that fits around the children, but my husbands rotating shift (includes the weekend) makes it too difficult. I'm now resigned to waiting 2 more years for the youngest to leave primary school.

How about family support worker jobs? They'll give you more experience relevant to your career. I'm also studying to become a Social Worker, my littlest is starting school next September and thats the job I'm hoping to get a couple of days a week. Does the school.have breakfast club? Childminder for after school? I've seen a few support worker roles for 2 or 3 days a week and hours between 8 and 4 30.

I would also take the job. You will need something recent to put on your CV in order to open other doors.

I would ask your SIL to look after the kids. I would pay her and I would drop the kids at her house in order for her to do it.

You need to accept that no one owes you free childcare. It may be that you end up working for very little once you've paid for this, but think of it as a long term investment in getting a better paid job.