work friends..

[SoupInAmug]

Worked same place for 5 years, left to go to different part of organisation. Have friends through work we knew in touch. But have one friend was same grade as me and we worked together for 4 years. You’re my best friend here, they say just before I leave for new position, we’ll keep in contact, definitely see each again.
But 2 outings to the pub and 2 invites from me are you going? Yes I’m going they say THEN on the day they say I can’t be bothered I’m tired work was mad (they on same job as I was doing and yes it’s mad and busy but not completely mental).

we got on so well for all those years and know each other’s deep dark secrets but now it’s like Who are you again

I know they only keep people close, friends who are useful to them.. doctor, midwife, teachers, electrtian etc etc I’m definitely not of any use unless they want me to be their secretary!!!

I know I’m not useful to them.. they are definitely messaging less. I asked a question if they are leaving the job (as they were thinking of going) and they didn’t reply. But replied to another message

has anyone had a great friendship which has died because the other person wasn’t bothered with them anymore?

has anyone had a great friendship which has died because the other person wasn’t bothered with them anymore?

most of us I should think. I went on holiday with someone I had worked with until shortly before the holiday. The holiday went well but I had to pull the plug on the friendship as I kept getting stood up at short notice.

I notice you mention being a secretary. I once read some advice about sucking up to everyone senior and their secretary. I don’t know if that’s relevant. Anyway, it happens a lot.

I think it’s just one of those things, try it to internalise it to much, it’s probably not about you. Maybe she’s got other stuff going on and she’s stressed who knows. But yeah it happens a lot in workplaces.

• not to internalise I meant sorry

Work friendships work much like a holiday romance. They are great when you are in daily close contact but don't really survive outside of that.

Work friendships tend to fizzle out when you remove what you have in common, work

I've had some very good friends leave at my previous job and we've said we'll keep in touch and we did to start with then it becomes less and less and then nothing

Agree with previous posters, work friends do fizzle out. I had 3 close friends in my old job, one of them I went away with, was invited to their family events etc. When I left, it was the usual, keep in touch, will go out etc. But it doesn't happen. Sorry OP but I would just leave it now

I met my best friend of 30 years at work but they are the only one that stuck.
I've had others where the friendship just dwindles over time it's nothing personal just as other people say it's often just the close proximity that's the glue.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.”

This is very true, from a poem. Some people are only friends because you see them everyday.