I'm bad at project management

[Supper16]

I'm in a public sector-like role, pretty junior, and got critical feedback from my boss that my project management skills aren't good enough. It's not the first time I've had this feedback in jobs (although I didn't tell boss this).

I am not a complete basket case at work and in many ways I am capable and engaged but I lack the quality of being 'super organised', able to anticipate issues, and always being two steps ahead of suppliers and supporting teams. This conversation came about because I didn't get the ball rolling fast enough on a couple of things, and seperately some of my suppliers have also dropped a couple of balls which I should have been more on top of. My role is pretty much entirely project management 🤦‍♀️ - I manage a number of different activities; the other teams around me and suppliers do the actual work.

The role is challenging and my boss did accept this - I work 4 days a week, had bit of annual leave recently here and there, and with the bank holidays I have had several weeks when I'm only in 2 days a week, then 3 days, then 2 days again etc. We are almost entirely working from home, so I lack the ability to hang over my colleagues shoulders and learn by osmosis day in day out. The organisation was cut by a third in late 2020 with the same expectations of productivity so all teams are stretched. I often have to copy my managers in to get other people to respond to me (I hate the chasing aspect of my work). Sometimes my suppliers really are just a bit crap and slow!!

Nevertheless, I know there is some truth in what my boss has said. I work hard, but don't seem to work 'right'. They noted that I do better when I have less individual projects, but that I should be able to cope with the number I have. I do feel like I have a lot on, although not so much that I feel pressured to work significantly over my contracted hours - which would be difficult anyway because of my small children. The feedback is not at the level of being put on a performance plan but we are going to set some really short term goals for me.

I've never really been formally trained in project management - had a couple of one-day courses here and there but they exist in such a sterilised environment I've not found them helpful. The last one was years back. I'm open to trying some more though.

I could attempt a pivot to one of these more supporting roles - I suspect I am better at 'doing' rather than 'organising'. I can't take a salary drop yet as I am locked into high childcare fees, which will get better when my youngest gets their 30 free hours in 18 months time, so then I could manage a step down. But I did hope to one day progress a little, maybe to manager, but I feel like there is so little chance of that ever happening. I've made a lot of side-ways job moves for one reason or another. I am 35, for the record, and will have no more babies, so I have maaaaaaany working years ahead of me.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Words of advice? Just feel so disheartened.

@minipie I like marketing - but technically marketing is what I am in now and as we have discussed, it is actually project management. I've enjoyed marketing more in other organisations when I've been able to collect and choose the case studies, do the writing, build the emails. I'm actually quite good at public speaking and presenting and I'm really supportive of (the few other) junior members of the organisation and in the past have been a good, clear and patient trainer.

So I do have skills, just in between a cross-country move, two maternity leaves, a global pandemic and a cost of living crisis, I've needed a job and found myself here.

If you know anywhere that will take a chance on someone new, pays between £26-28k FTE, will allow me to work 4 days a week and pretty much entirely remote working then I am aaaaaaaall over it.

Some really good advice here already. My contribution (as someone who manages a team of project managers) is to be absolutely clear who is responsible for delivering what, by when. Then log it, share it with those people, and keep up to date with progress (can be as simple as a regular 15 minute meeting where you agree 0%, 25%, 50%, 75% or 00% complete). Give them a way to highlight if things are off-track, and make them suggest remedial action.

Find a way to flag work that is nearing deadline (you can even use Excel for this, if you're happy with conditional formatting) and check in with people. If they go over deadline, you have to chase them - I know you say that calls wouldn't be welcome in your organisation, but that is the PM's job.

I have many spreadsheets, charts etc that I use. Some are shared across teams, and some are for my use only. But the key is to know what should be happening, whether it's likely to happen, and to know when it has happened.

@Sprig1 in the past I would procrastinate because I was not sure, but yes have long since learnt that it is better to start something and get it perhaps not quite right, than do nothing at all.

Some great advice on here which I won’t repeat again, so to add to the advice have you thought about:

• getting a mentor or coach? I work for the public sector and there’s always schemes going on. I have a mentor who has helped me immensely
• joining a network of other project managers? Having peers to bounce ideas off can work wonders (or perhaps sharpen for a day)
• have a meeting with each of the people you’ll need to get work off. Find out how they best work and make a note of it. With one manager they only replied to my text messages. Another it was instant messenger. When on the call, agree a process

Is your organisation large? If so it may well have internal secondments available - it’s worth asking. Do they have a training team or a comms team? Sounds like those might suit well and you have relevant experience?

Are you quite new to this job?

@minipie there is a comms team, it's one of my closest working relationships. The relationship between the two teams is sometimes fractious (this is not my fault or related to me, on an individual level relationships are good).

It's not a huge org, does have occasional secondments and I am going to keep my ear to the ground.

Is it a new job: yes and no! I started at tbe beginning of 2020 having made a cross country move which had seen me out of work for 6 months prior (related to house purchase and childcare issues plus finding, securing and starting the new job). I got pregnant pretty much immediately on starting, for which I make no apologies. I worked 3 months, was furloughed 3 months, then worked 3 months before maternity leave. I was almost made redundant at the end of 2020 during the cuts, but a peer got a promotion and I slotted into the one role that was created out of our two roles. I started back in mid September 2021, so been back 7 months.

My boss also went on mat leave and started back a month after me, so there was some chopping and changing as she got to grips with everything again and her priorities were different to her mat cover. In the past 7 months I have been on and off different projects to cover recruitment gaps and to hot foot it onto 'strategic priorities' handed down on high from Exec Team.

So it has been a difficult few years.

I am potentially becoming quite outing but hopefully anyone who recognises me will see that I have started the thread with the best of intentions.

Oh goodness, so you’re fairly new to the place, been on and off with furlough and mat leave, changes of manager and tasks, and a small baby too. I would be inclined to say nobody is going to perform their best under those circumstances - especially in a role where it helps if you already know the people you are chasing. Give it time! If in 6 months it’s still feeling like something you’re struggling with then consider your options.

Hi OP. I know this is a few days old, but it you really struggle with project management, while being strong in other areas, have you considered the possibility that you may have a neurodiverse profile of some sort?

I am dyslexic and dyspraxic, and find project management a huge challenge (even though I excel in other areas of my job). I have a good line manager who understands this, and tries to keep my ratio of technical tasks to project management heavily weighted in favour of technical tasks.

I know other colleagues with ADHD who have similar problems with project management.

I would suggest reading some descriptions of dyslexia, dyspraxia and ADHD in adults, and in particular, the issue of being "twice exceptional", where a very high ability in some areas can mask an underlying neurodiverse condition. When this happens, it can mean your condition (if you have one) flies under the radar and didn't get picked up when you were a child.

I didn't get an assessment and diagnosis until my early 30s, because I mistakenly thought dyslexia meant extreme difficulties in being able to read and write. That's not always the case, for some it can have a rather minimal effect on your reading and writing, but its key impact is on your organisational skills due to issues with working memory.

Watching with interest as I fully relate. Also suggest PMO might be more up your street (focus more on process than people).

An APM or Prince2 qualification might help although both are deathly dull. I failed Prince2 and achieved a distinction with APM.

Very recently seconded into PM role with a handful of projects way outside my experience level. I much prefer PMO, managing risk and building templates, to chasing people.

I don’t think anyone likes the chasing element though and I have to keep telling myself I felt equally out of my depth with the qualification I passed with flying colours.

If it weren’t for being pulled up on it I’d wonder if you were just being hard on yourself. But then there’s also the cliche that PMs get none of the accolades when all goes well and all of the blame when things go wrong.

@Latecomer131

I've sometimes wondered about ADHD but find it difficult to believe I'm not just unorganised. In my day to day life you wouldn't suspect these issues, I come across perfectly capable, confident.

As a child I was high achieving and focused, and wasn't singled out for disorganisation or scatterbrained-ness. Some teachers said I was a bit lazy sometimes. I got a good degree. I am an excellent writer and have been praised for this in jobs before. I think a GP would laugh me out of the room to be honest.

It's just in my professional life, prioritisation, time management and project management have always held me back. (I do tend to be a last minute shopper for christmas and birthday gifts but with one-day-delivery usually get them in the nick of time!) My peers I worked with 10 years ago have sailed past me.

@mnamna thank you. PMO isn't really a role that exisits in my organisation or sector unfortunately. I don't want to imply I'm a church mouse or socially inept - I like people and I am friendly. Just a bit soft perhaps.

I also think I might find those courses incredibly dull! I don't have scope to do them outside of work, I have 2 preschool children and my free time is very limited.

Yes, the 'getting the blame when things go wrong' sounds very familiar.....

@Supper16
I just thought I was crap at organisation, sports involving a ball, keeping track of my possessions and directions.(These are all manifestations of my dyslexia and dyspraxia).

I have a 1st class degree, a distinction in my master's and a PhD.

For the longest time, I thought the issues mentioned above were just personality quirks. Many people with neurodiverse conditions can perform exceptionally well at in-depth thought focused tasks, but it's actually the workplace, where you are expected to undertake multitasking that can prove challenging.

It took a huge screw up at work to prompt me to finally get assessed, and I changed my career route as a result (to something that better plays to my strengths).

I have no idea what it is like trying to access an assessment on the NHS, but my guess is that waiting lists must be huge. I had a private assessment with an occupational psychologist which was circa £750 about 5 years ago. Best money I ever spent, as it's now a basis for requesting reasonable adjustments that help, such as dictation software and WFH.

I think many workplaces will now fund workplace assessments for employees who suspect a neurodiverse condition, so perhaps it's something to look into.

Haha I was speaking more from my perspective than making assumptions about yours 😉 People distract/annoy me LOL

I’m a project manager but at a senior level snd corporate. there is no way I’d ever take my annual leave spread out like that so I had several weeks only working two or three days a week, it would be impossible to stay on top of my job.

I could if I wanted, but I’d never do it, as my performance would be dire and my projects a mess, I’d loose all ability to provide oversight.

the fact you did tells me you have other priorities, you only really care now because you’re being pulled up on it and realise that your poor performance will impact your future progression. As it should.

if I was you I’d ask to move role or find another job. You don’t like it so you don’t care enough about what you are doing, this isn’t a criticism it’s simoly a fact. It’s ok not to like it.

You are never going to want to put the hard effort in to make it a success. For you it’s something thay needs doing to get to the next level. You are clearly leaving things undone and you will know it.

you are effectively on a pip they just haven’t formally said it because of the repercussions and requirements of doing so. When your manager needs to step in an micro manage you and set goals for you, then they don’t feel you can work independently and there is a signficant problem at hand. A formal pip is the next step and managing you out. The first warning shot has been fired.

so for me, I think you need to move and fast before this causes you lasting damage, becayse I don’t think you can turn it around, because turning it around will involve heavy focus, training and caring about it and the truth is, you don’t actually care about that work or the repercussions to your organisation of you not performing.

your talk about managing complex budgets is bonkers. Of course they aren’t going to let you near that if you fail at this.

be honest with yourself. You don’t like it and aren’t putting thr work in, the result is you are failing and are a poor performer. So it’s time to move. Find something you do like.

im sorry to state it clearly, but for your benefit, it’s better to cut and run than ultimately have your employment terminated.

Reviving this old thread

@Supper16 your post sounds just like me. I’m in a project management role, private sector. Fast paced industry. Hybrid work but mostly WFH.

I feel like I keep messing up and each project I work on has issues. Some which have had financial implications and some which has resulted in an unhappy client.

Like yourself I work 4 days since having children. I don’t know if it’s kids, the job, the company, or I’m simply not very good at it! i think my confidence has also taken a hit after two rounds of maternity leave and a job change. I’ve been in my current role for 14 months and constantly worried I’m going to lose my job!

if I was to be completely honest with myself, I think my organisation, communication and attention to detail is just not what it used to be pre kids and I can’t seem to get it back to where it was.

Looking for words of wisdom!

Hi @Icedcoffeeee

I've intermittently thought of this thread and kept meaning to come back to it. I'll tell you what happened to me.

I actually wrote it whilst signed off for 2 weeks with stress. I was deeply ashamed and despairing to be performing poorly, as work is a key part of my identity. Thank you for all the supportive replies; as many of you gleaned I am not suited to pure project management! I wasn't an unmitigated disaster. But I wasn't as good as I needed to be.

I read back my posts and wish I could give myself a hug. I wish I had been kinder to myself, and that others in my life had been a bit kinder to me too. I was struggling to move on from my experience of the pandemic, and I think I was quite traumatised. Now I have two years clear of the place I also think the organisation cut their staff to the bone whilst expecting the exact same output, and that their culture was generally poor.

I did a lot of soul searching, returned after my sick leave was up and immediately handed in my notice. I worked my 4 weeks as hard and as best as I could.

I got a job pretty swiftly afterwards, in what is technically the same sector but a dramatically different, much smaller organisation. I dropped down to 3 days a week, but am actually in the office twice a week, whereas that old job was fully remote. I find this the perfect balance between family life and working effectively with colleagues.

I do still project manage things like events, campaigns and projects, with some suppliers and colleagues, but on a much smaller scale. I am the PM, but also the 'doer', which I much prefer. I have significant autonomy, and much more hand in the comms side of things where I can utitilse my writing and design skills. I get the chance to share my knowledge and mentor others. I've written a 10 year strategy for my area and I've presented to the board. My feedback has been consistently excellent and I am valued. I've not come in throwing my weight around (indeed I was really very low when I started) and have had some fab learning experiences.

Taking this job was a substantial paycut, and initially life was really challenging financially because of it. Until my youngest got his 30 hours, I only covered the nursery fees. Thankfully I am not a lone parent and my partners earnings eeked us through, and of course I continued to contribute to a pension. In Jan this year, my boss and I looked at my JD and wrote out all the extra things I was doing, and I got a payrise. I'm now back to the salary I was on in my previous job (pro rata'd, of course). So it could be much worse, and I am now very happy with my job.

I dismissed PP's of suggestions of adhd at the time, but it's since become clear my youngest is autistic, so I occasionly wonder if I have some nurodivergence. I still occasionally find it hard to speak to some colleagues.

@Icedcoffeeee, I'm sorry I've not given you any project management tips! But I wanted to update with how I got through, in case anyone else is going through the same thing and finds this thread.

I don't know if you've changed since you had kids. I know I never would have thrived at a pure project management job, but if I had been without children, and full time, I perhaps could have stuck it for a bit longer and got by, who knows. There is no shame in changing your focus and your path post children, I know I am a different person to who I was before. It's inevitable that this crosses over into our professional lives.

Good luck x

Thanks for sharing your story OP. I’m sorry to hear what you were going through at that time. I‘ve been going through the same, and have had bouts of anxiety that has been crippling at times (which I never had pre kids). I was nearly signed off work but I held on carried through due to fear of judgement.

I’m glad to hear you have found something that works for you. It sounds like my dream job and would love a 3 day role. These are very hard to come by in my sector, it sound not too dissimilar to yours - events, campaigns etc.

I do fear what impact taking a step back would do to my career but I’m coming to reason that my mental well-being is more important.