considering not returning to work after maternity leave ??

[sunnyoutside12345]

I am due to have my 2nd baby in the next month or so and myself and my husband are considering my not returning to work after maternity leave

I work in a school (part time) but I found it really difficult going back 1st time around. Luckily 1st time around we did not have to pay for childcare, but certain circumstances have chanced, which means we will most likely have to pay for child care a few days a week, even with me working part time. I do not want to go into to much detail as it is personal family issues

I had originally planned to go back after maternity next year (even though in my mind I had already thought I did not want to) but I was doing it for the money side of it

My husbands asked me if I would prefer to not return to work, as he does earn enough for us to get by. The amount I earn is pretty poor as I am only support staff, and if we were to pay for childcare we wouldn't be left with much from my wage so we both agree it is probably pointless

has anyone been in this situation?

I do enjoy working (sometimes) but that's mostly the social side of it, rather than the actual job, but I would be happy with a little part time/evening job a couple of hours a week just to get some extra cash

any advice of similar situations would be appreciated :)

thank you

I would always return to work as its not just take home pay, but pension contributions etc. Will you have to repay any enhanced maternity pay as well?

At the end of the day only you can decide what is right for your family

@Lazypuppy I have decided to only take statutory maternity pay this time around so I would not need to repay that.

Is your job school hours and term time?

Tbh a term time only, school hours, part time job is like gold dust to some people and would be really great for when your kids are just a little bit older as it would I imagine fit around them much easier than other jobs.

I’d keep it going part time even if the cost of childcare meant I didn’t really make any money.

Also if you plan on having anymore children then the maternity leave can be useful too!

Sounds like you have already made your decision if you are only taking SMP, otherwise if you do go back you would have lost all that extra money!

Agree with PP that term time/part time is gold dust for some parents once kids are a bit older so seems madness to give it up

@PinkPlantCase it is part time school hours, but very long days due to it being a high school. This is what I have found difficult since coming back with my 1st as well. I appreciate it would be ideal for when the children are older, but just not sure it's something I can carry on for not physically and mentally. Obviously I may feel completely different about this next year. The money for the hours I do is pretty poor in my opinion and i sometimes feel it is not worth my time. I may sound ungrateful and it isn't meant this way.

This is definitely my last child, so maternity pay for next time is not a concern.

How easy would it be to get back into your role once the youngest goes to school?
I know we are desperate for qualified TAs right now. If it's a role that is frequently advertised, and your qualifications will still be valid, I'd take the time off. If it's a role that isn't often available, I'd be inclined to see if you can keep going. The school pension is pretty good too, but on a PT support role might not add up to much.

@Lazypuppy it doesn't necessarily mean i've made my mind up, but my husband and I decide for me to take the statutory INCASE i decide i do not want to return. 1st time when I return I couldn't get the days I needed/wanted and ended up having to go back full time for a few months which was not ideal and this really impacted my mental health as well as impacted out whole family life to to child care etc. I had no choice but to go back due to taking the enhanced maternity pay. Therefore we are keeping options open.

Have you agreed with your husband to set up a private pension pot and pay into that monthly whilst you are out of work? I would make sure you set that up as a minimum. Part time work too would be useful as it would make things easier to return to work once the children are in school.

I would never leave my role, or give up an independent income. After my kids I went very P/T, then compressed hours and back up to FT when they were in Y6.

It still massively held me back but at least I still had a foot in the door and have finally got back to where I should be in terms of seniority and salary.

How can part time school hours be very long days? Could you get back into it if you wanted to? What about pension?

I'm not going back. My husband is going to pay into a pension for me and I'll have another 25 years to earn the 16 I need in NIC. I will be able to return to the workplace in a similar role when they are at school. I will be doing a bit of a side job half a day a week from home here and there if we need the cash. I have lots of stay at home parents to socialise with so won't miss work for a few years!

Pension and NI contributions - it’s not just about how much take home pay you get

i always think leaving work is a terrible idea (sorry)

what if your husband leave you or you decide to leave him - you are screwed.

what if he dies? (again sorry) but you have to think about these things

you will be completely reliant on someone else and you may find it very hard to get back into work.

@Flittingaboutagain

Thank you for your message. You seem to be the only kind person with a kind response, without feeling like you are judging me for evening considering not returning to work. I sometimes feel every time I post a thread on mumsnet I get people jumping in with all the negative, thinking that every mother/person should WANT to work just because of money.

I never said that I wouldn't return to work once my child is a bit older but some people are so quick to jump in.

I would absolutely return to a similar role once both my children are at full time school / nursery.

The days can’t be that long at a school surely?

In your situation then l would be reluctant to, as others have mentioned what about the long-term financial side, dependency on your husband and how would you get back into the workplace?

I think it’s clear you have made your mind up and don’t wish to return. That’s fine, you need to do what works for you, you don’t need validation from strangers on the internet.

it wouldn’t be for me personally I’d no more consider giving up than your husband would. Not just from a financial independence perspective, equally shared household chores and childcare, but also a sanity one.

I also abhor the phrase “little job” you never hear a man saying I’d like to give up and get a “little job”

I fully understand why sone men are bang up for it though, so they don’t need to worry about childcare and doing the housework whilst they do their important jobs, but it’s odd how suddenly the price of childcare becomes the woman’s sole responsibility Ie what’s left from her wage after it’s paid, when it’s a shared responsibility and he should be paying proportionally.

everyone has to do what works for them, but as said, you don’t need validation from the internet, and shouldn’t get upset if other women wouldn’t consider it and respond as such.

Oh dear OP, lots of people have be kind they just haven’t agreed with you.

Your PP made me wonder if you would actually go back to work after, you say it’s a low wage job but are you qualified to do anything that will earn a higher wage? That’s not a dig at you, just something to think about.

If you want to go back to work when DC start school will you use wrap around care or will the pick ups be your responsibility? It sounds like your start and finish time was quite difficult when you went back to work before.

It sounds really sensible only taking SMP this time after having to go full time after the last one!

Its absolutely fine if you don’t want to go back to work, or if you never go back to work! It doesn’t matter to random people on the internet. We’re just pointing out things to consider.

Lots of women have found themselves in difficult positions because of being a SAHP.

Everyone is just being realistic and pointing out what.could go wrong with the plan

it’s not being unkind

My DC are 13 and 10. School holiday childcare has been one of my biggest sources of stress over the few years. I’d really take this into consideration before giving up a term time job. IME wrap around care at the start/end of the school day is much easier to get than holiday care - particularly as my DC, in common with others, really didn’t want to go to holiday clubs once they were about 9/10.

As someone who never gave up work and is now divorced I can’t tell you how glad I am that I kept my own income (and ExDH is one of the good guys!)

Yes it was tough for a few years, but so so worth it in terms of financial independence, pensions, sanity and career.

In your position I would probably give up work for a few years to enjoy your babies and take the pressure off! TA’s are like gold dust these days -we have advertised at our school a few times in the last year with very little applicants so I’m sure you’ll have no trouble getting back to work as soon as you feel ready to. I find the opinions of some on here baffling, lots seem to value career over their role as a mum but each to their own. Good luck in whatever you decide to do, you’re very lucky to have the choice xx

I have been a SAHM for over 14 years now and absolutely love it. Do what is best for your situation OP.

I find the opinions of some on here baffling, lots seem to value career over their role as a mum but each to their own.

oh hello the 1950s called, they wondered where you were. We can have jobs and careers you know, it doesn’t stop us being mums. And what rhe hell is “our role” is that at the kitchen sink?

Your role as a mum is whatever you want it to be. Some are career focused during their children’s early years and pay for childcare, some prefer to stay home and others do a bit of both. Whatever works for you and your family, no need to get shirty!

I didn’t go back to work after maternity leave, my childcare costs would of been a lot more than I was earning, so I just picked up a very part time job role around my husbands working hours, and my husband also started a very small business, that brought in a bit of pocket money.
I loved being at home, but we used to be short for money for treats and nice days out etc, with the cost of living going up we would of really struggled.
I have only just gone back to work full time since having my youngest who is 2 and a half now.
Luckily I was offered a position more senior to the role I was in before maternity leave at a different place, the pay is a lot better and isn’t completely wiped out by childcare.
I’m term time only which has helped with the work/ mum balance.

If you can manage without returning to work then go for it. Having time with your children will be worth a slightly smaller pension pot, especially if you would be working just to pay for childcare.

You're welcome OP. I hope you have a lovely time away from work if you decide to join me 🙂