Accused of bullying

[PermanentTemporary]

Just wondered if anyone has experienced this and if you were able to change the way you behaved and get past it.

I've had several interactions with a colleague where she has felt disrespected and undermined. I accept i was in the wrong. In the moment, I had no intention of any such thing - but I am intimidated by her - perhaps envious? - she's very good and I can see that my lesser self is probably driving my actions. We haven't had a manager for a couple of months which isn't helping.

@PermanentTemporary we are all human, we all make mistakes. The key thing is you've recognised your communication style is in need of toning back or being less abrasive, whatever. That's the learning - many many people fail to be so self-aware, so it's a real positive that you have.

Whether or not you can repair the relationship with the "wronged" colleague will rely on whether they are able to accept an apology from you. There is no need to self-flagellate or anything so punishing, a sincere professional apology from you is quite enough, done in private and kept between the two of you. Then move forward from it and try not to dwell or beat yourself up over it. In time the feeling will fade.

Sounds like you need to do some work on your self-esteem so you don't feel threatened by other people.

Yes I believe you can change and get beyond it, however you need to reflect and ensure your behaviour changes. I was in a job share with someone who could be vile, our working relationship completely broke down and my colleague instigated a mediation meeting with management. Luckily I had been raising and documenting her bullying, which came as a complete shock to her in the meeting. She was mortified and I believe she has changed. Although we no longer work directly together, I no longer have any problems with her.

These are positive, thank you for replying.