Help me with my work anxiety - how do I calm down

[Allinmyhead101]

I work in a professional role in financial services but (unusually!) a very supportive organisation. I previously had a pretty senior role in another organisation (c. 100 people under me) but I couldn't cope with the stress or the working hours.

I took a much more junior role so I could just enjoy life and work shorter hours. It worked, but I hated my team so I was just coasting. Not happy at work, but happy in life. Three things have changed:

1. I've changed to a much busier role, which I love and everyone agrees I'm made for
2. I'm back in the office at least 2 days a week
3. I'm going to need to go for a promotion as things are becoming tight

All I've gotten in this role is praise and support, but my anxiety has rocketed. I went in yesterday and felt like I'd got my clothes wrong. I went to a meeting and felt like a couple of my interjections were wrong. I'm constantly freaking out about my hours when I leave for childcare. I've constantly got a narrative in my head that I should be better than I am, that so-and-so is so much better even though he's younger and more inexperienced, that I'll never be seen as credible.

And I know it's in my head. They're really grateful to have me and tell me this constantly. But I'm nearly in tears today and I just want to hide.

Any advice would be appreciated x

This sounds really hard, I’m watching as I’m sure someone will be along with better advice but I would say that it’s positive that you recognise that this is anxiety speaking.

Have you ever accessed any counselling for the anxiety? It can be helpful in reframing some of your thoughts

I think some people are finding it hard to interact in face to face work situations after lock down and I don't think anxiety is that uncommon. I've certainly felt the same.

I think once you've had your confidence knocked a couple of times it seems to come back and haunt you.

It sounds like you are doing great in terms of expectations. Your fears are actually unfounded (i.e. better colleague, wrong clothes, etc.) so you need to shut that down as it is very very unhelpful. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

Sounds like imposter syndrome. Lots of ideas to help on Google.

How old are you? Perimenopause can cause or increase anxiety.

Also coming on to say imposter syndrome.

You could try writing out your unhelpful thoughts and then using evidence to challenge them. Or just redirect your attention off unhelpful thoughts and back into doing your job, when necessary.

No one’s going to remember what your wore or said in a meeting in six months’ time.

Is it maybe the thought of promotion bringing this on?