Back at work and missing my baby...anyone else dealing with separation and how?

[RoRoMommy]

Hello all,

I've been back at work and miss my DS terribly! It just doesn't get easier, does it? How do you deal with missing your LOs, and has anything helped you feel more attached whilst away? I call a few times a day and my mum, who cares for him, lets him play with the phone while it's on speaker, which is funny as he puts me on hold pretty regularly; that is, when he's not throwing me on the floor!

Can I join in?

I have been on mat leave for 6 months and resuming work next Monday. My LO is just over 6 m now and I love him to bits (obviously). we found a lovely nursery, got all the work forms sorted then... i was rang tonight to say there are probs about my post
I am feeling really sad about leaving my DS at nursery full time and now there are issues about where I will be working and I was told NOT to turn up on Monday as they don't have a budget to pay me!!!
I am feeling really sad and missing DS already and now I also feel stressed as I don't know if/when/where I will be working at all
I am feeling torn between I need to work and I hate the idea to leave my DS with anyone else, no matter how nice his nursery is. Feeling even more confused now.

Hello too. I'm going back to work tomorrow (!) for three days a week and I'm dreading that. My LO was one on Tuesday.

Padds, I believe if you are bfing, your company has a legal responsibility to provide you with a quiet place to express or bf until the baby is 12 months. At least that's what my manager told me when I was sorting out return to work, unless it is just our company policy, but I don't think so. HTH.

Hi everyone
I'm going back to work a week on Monday. I can't believe how quickly my precious 6 months with dd has gone by. I'm also a lawyer (not in the City - but up in Scotland) and have negotiated that I will work 4 days but I know that I will also have to work from home after dd is in bed. One of the hardest things will be leaving at 5pm to collect dd from nursery - I know that there will be comments and I will be seen as not pulling my weight even though I will be making up my hours from home. I feel stressed just typing about it! And of course there is the dread of leaving dd with strangers - it just breaks my heart and if I think about it too much I just want to cry. Can we have a support thread for us all !

Carpediem - I think they legally have to give you a job on the same terms and conditions as the one you were on before you went on leave - I'm pretty sure that they're not allowed to tell you that they don't have the budget for you.

I have sympathy for you all - I went back 3 months ago (my DS is now 10 months) and it does get easier, I promise.

Although I'm now finding I've been totally shafted at work - and my firm is supposed to be hot on diversity [mad]

this is going at it from a completely different angle-although im a mum of 3 ive been fortunate enbough to be able to stay at home usually working part time or whatever .....anyway im a qualified nursery nurse when you leave your little ones at nursery (i realise this is the ideal and not always the truth)ideally you are leaving them with educated carers whose job is to nurture your babies you are 100% the mummy but the childcarer is the carer in your absence i know it gives you a ick in the guts but what you are doing by providing your child with quality day care is giving them the very best secondbest you can- i can honestly say that in all the babies and toddlers i had in my care in the nursery i nurtured each one the same i would my own indeed some of these are now 17 and still remember me ,its very hard but you have to get away from these desertion thoughts at a baby age so long as a baby is loved and cared for it doesnt matter by who he she will know your bond ,in victorian times the wealthy only saw their babies a few times per day -just because you wholeheartedly love someone you cannot be the only air they breathe by working you are providing a wealth of experience for your child and you mustnt beat yourself up about it believe me when i say being a sahm isnt all its cracked up to be.

dippydeedoo can you come and look after my dd

Carpe diem - if you are in the UK and have had 26 weeks ml or less you are legally entitled to your job back - but I believe you have to give 8 weeks written notice that you are returning (email is fine).
If over 26 weeks but up to a year they have to honour same type of job, salary etc, but if they can prove there is no suitable equivalent position they can get rid of you, which not many people know.
How long you have been off is key so calculate it to the day and assert your rights!

meep id love too but i have 3 monkeys of my own nowdays xxxx

dippydeedoo - thank you. It's so lovely to hear from a nursery carer perspective and particularly ''...you wholeheartedly love someone you cannot be the only air they breathe... by working you are providing a wealth of experience for your child and you mustnt beat yourself up about it...''

I return to work tomorrow, my DD (1yo) is currently settling in at a wonderful nursery and I am sitting here looking for emotional hooks as I wallow in the pain of letting her go! I think I need to cry hard today to make sure I don't do it tomorrow at work!

I think it comes and goes. I've been back at work for 7 months now and DD is in nursery. I have bad days and good days, bad weeks and good weeks and have just begun to accept that it will be like that. I will never to get to a point when I think 'oh its ok now'. For eg. today, DD was v. miserable this morning teething and I rang the nursery this am to check on her and she still is. They can cope and I can't really leave work and get her today and today I feel crap about being a working mum! It actually becomes quite boring having to re-justify yourself periodically. I have to work, I want to work, it's hard but I'm doing my best. I don't have family nearby to look after her and at the moment the nursery is the best choice I can make. Some days, I have a brilliant day at work, a fun lunch somewhere etc and pick up DD and she's had a brill day and it all feels like its working perfectly! I loved your post too dippydeedo!

I'm late to this thread, but am yet another lawyer at a US firm. There are obviously a lot of us about! I'm due to go back in the next few months, by July at the latest, and am really not looking forward to it. I don't mind being at work, but just can't imagine not having DD sitting on my hip and pulling my hair and blowing raspberries on my shoulder throughout the day!! I'm hoping to negotiate a 4 day week, but fear it'll end up as a normal 7 day week on 80% pay. Are you all back already? How's it going?