To work or not to Work - That is the question?

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Has anyone else been in the position of not knowing whether to continue working and become a "stay at Home" mum ( hate that term!) or maintain your current arrangements?

I work for a stable employers with great benefits and money with hours that completely suit my childcare arrangements. I also have 2 children aged 2 and 4, who viciously compete for my attention.

Changes to my husbands employment mean that financially I don't have to work anymore (yey - I hear some of you shout!) This would mean I could all my time wih my children...

BUT....

The problem is that I am not particularly enjoying my current job so handing in my notice sounds like a fabulous idea - but I am not sure I could hack it being at home all the time. What do you do all day? Doesn't it get lonely? How does it challenge you etc.......Also, wouldn't I be mad to give up private health care, pension, money of my own and also the social life where I am not just someones mum!?!

Please let me know your thoughts as it is axctually making me quite unhappy - kind of sounds more real when you write it down!

Hi there,
I am mostly a SAHM, but must admit, I have come to a point where I have had enough of that.
You say, that you are not particularly happy where you are and that financially there isn't a need for you to work, so, why not hand your notice in and try the whole SAHM malarky and see how you feel about it, and if you don't like it, maybe some sort of study, Voluntary work or another little Job would be an option.

i have a crap job which i moan about but i'm still there cos i can't think about being home all the time

Hi

I have three children 6, 4 and nearly 2 and I have to work, because I need to be me, to be out of the house (although I am lucky and can work from home a lot too), be with other people, pursue ambitions, feel human, carry on doing the things I have always done. Over the last few years I have seen women make a whole range of decisions, I guess we all meet many types of mums who have made many different packages of lifestyle decisions, and I don't often meet fully 'happy' stay-at-homes. Stay-at-work mums on the other hand can have it all, but not all of the time, I mean you can do many things and have ambitions but not all at once. Its not just 'balance' but its acknowledging honestly what its really possible to achieve for you I think thats important.

I am sorry that you feel miserable. I too feel that my current job is not the right one, and that its easier to think what I don't want to do in a job rather than what I do. Jobs can also be boring and make you bored, but being at home all the time would be a huge challenge to me. I would not be able to be happy only at home.

I think some mums become 'professional' mothers and get really into activities etc and also some are developing skills they can also do or will do in the future as 'jobs'.
I do worry that many women give up work because they think it is the right thing to do, or their husbands or mothers/mothers-in-law put pressure and they don't really want to.

There's a lot of pretence out there, and a lot of depressed women in those play groups buggying round activities in exhausted states and a lot of kids by TVs whilst mums do housework (being at home makes work of course to).

But I am lucky to have very happy children well-settled in very good nursery care, and after school care, and that I have been able to cut down my professional job to part time hours. I have varied my contract every year and am fortunate. But you do have to play the systems that are there.

Real problem is finding any me time when you work. You think you can get it during working hours but thats tough.

I think more stay-at-work mums need to have the confidence to say they don't want to be with their kids all day every day. and say why - answers will be different for different mothers. the conversation at those play groups always seems to be the other way.

Have you actually applied for any other jobs? Thats a way of testing how you feel; doing the forms, going to the interview etc will highlight how you feel...It would be much harder to get back into a job from being at home.

But if you want to try being at home do it...but I don't think it can be as easy to get back into work again having stopped..

All the best