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Original poster

Not returning to work after maternity

33 replies

Jesssleigh · 22/03/2022 20:45

Has anyone not returned to work after there maternity is up I'm really struggling about wanting to return to work as my job as a care assistant doesn't suit family life, I worked out the days I could work for free child care and it doesn't include weekends but if I put my baby in day care I would have to work more hours to just to pay for it and that's not including other bills so will be ten times worse, I don't think my work will let me do the hours and days I could work I'm making my self ill thinking about on what to do will I be entitled to anything if I do hand my notice in and not return straight away

OP posts:
Donkeyinamanger · 22/03/2022 20:51

Surely it is worth speaking to your work first to see if there is any flexibility in the days you can work? Do you have a partner who can help with childcare when you are working?

Original poster
Jesssleigh · 22/03/2022 21:01

My work demands that everyine has to work every other weekend 7 in the morning till 10 at night and that you can't do any half days my partner works fri till Tuesday every week I could only work the days that he isn't at work for child care ill not be entitled to free child care till my baby is over the age of 1 I would be working to put them into childcare which I honestly don't see the point of

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Whatafielddayfortheheat · 22/03/2022 21:08

Unfortunately you're not alone in this conundrum, many many families find the same. Personally I became a SAHM, but bear in mind that if you go back, you will accrue benefits such as pension and workplace progression, and soon childcare will be less expensive (when they are entitled to some free).

Twizbe · 22/03/2022 21:16

This happens to lots of us.

First really sit down and work it out keeping in mind that childcare is a SHARED expense and not just yours.

Also look at what flexibility your partner can do. He's also entitled to request flexible working and he might be able to get hours the work with childcare.

Look at options like childminders as well. You also get some tax back on childcare which can make it cheaper.

If you decide not to return first check what your maternity policy states about returning any enhanced pay. You won't have to repay any statutory pay.

Then wait until the very last moment to resign as you earn holiday while on maternity leave. They will pay you this in a lump sum when you leave.

You can also look at other options with work such as bank staff. This can work if you just want to cover odd days when you've got childcare. This could work until you get cheaper childcare.

Original poster
Jesssleigh · 22/03/2022 21:20

My partners work has set hours and is unable to work flexible, we don't have any family to help out either I don't want to be put of work for long just a few months till we can manage the child care but there's not much information out there

OP posts:
Twizbe · 22/03/2022 21:28

@Jesssleigh

My partners work has set hours and is unable to work flexible, we don't have any family to help out either I don't want to be put of work for long just a few months till we can manage the child care but there's not much information out there
How many months? Again you get all your annual leave for the year. That should be at least 4 weeks which you can take as a lump at the end of your leave.

You and your partner are entitled to parental leave which you can also use to extend your leave for a couple of months (both taking some time)

Really look at your partner's work. So many men say that they can't work flexible but really they just don't want to ask.

ChairCareOh · 22/03/2022 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Original poster
Jesssleigh · 22/03/2022 21:34

I was looking around 4 to 5 months at the most, my partner has already emailed with his work place about working flexible shifts but because of his line of work in a factory they are unable to do this, he can change to part time but we cannot afford this

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Original poster
Jesssleigh · 22/03/2022 21:49

I understand its father responsibility aswell, but you don't know what everybody's situation is everyone is different, when your in job when it's going to actually cost you to work I'm a carer who goes round houses its actually going to cost me to work the way petrol prices are rising, the costs of running a house now the way prices of gas and electric have doubled the cost of having a child not everyone is in the same situation!

OP posts:
Butterfly44 · 22/03/2022 21:59

Main thing is to look at maternity policy. If you don't go back you could be required to pay back your employment maternity pay. Some go back do the 3 months work or so then quit if that's what they want.

Twizbe · 22/03/2022 22:14

If it's just 4-5 months look at unpaid leave options from your work rather than just quitting.

Like I said, you have a whole year's holiday to take plus both of you have the entitlement to parental leave.

Your partner could take 2 weeks annual leave as well.

Otherwise you just suck up that cost for a few months given the longer term benefit of staying in work.

MaizeAmaze · 22/03/2022 22:14

Childcare at weekends is hard to find, and it sounds like you would need weekend childcare quite often.
It sounds like one or both of you might need to start looking for a new job if you both want or need yo work.
Did you just get SMP? In which case it's yours and doesnt need repaying. If it was topped up by work, you heed to check the maternity policy.
I'm not sure on the current rules regarding claiming benifits following maternity leave.

Original poster
Jesssleigh · 22/03/2022 22:23

Yes just received smp so won't have to pay anything back unpaid would not be a option, and my partner is already using his annual leave as I'm due to have sugery and recovery time is 4 weeks so he is using that to look after our baby
Child care costs are actually more on a weekend the would be the odd one days were I could work a sat or Sun but it would not be able to work a full day and my employer won't allow you to work half days on a weekend

OP posts:
blockbustervideo · 22/03/2022 22:35

Become a SAHM then. Is your partner supportive of this decision?

Original poster
Jesssleigh · 22/03/2022 22:42

We couldn't survive on just his wage that why I asked if I would be entitled to anything if u resigned and after being able to sort out child care then go back into work

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LegallyBlende · 22/03/2022 23:14

Can you do agency work?

ChicCroissant · 22/03/2022 23:32

OP, is it 6 or 7 weeks before you are due back at work by any chance? Because IME this is the prime time for a wobble about returning. There is something about that timeframe that makes the return to work suddenly seem real.

Is it possible to return to work and then look for a new post? Is there a reason why you haven't arranged childcare for your return as you seem to have known that your hours would be fixed every other weekend.

Original poster
Jesssleigh · 23/03/2022 07:20

They were very understanding that my hours would change to suit round my partners work but because I have no childcare on a weekends they don't accept this, I would be able to work the odd sat or Sunday but not they hours they have you working which is 7am till 10pm they won't do half shifts on a weekend the rest of the week is fine

OP posts:
Whatafielddayfortheheat · 23/03/2022 10:03

I missed your question about being entitled to anything, I see this is mainly what you are asking. This will depend on your husband's salary and whether you have any savings, and whether you rent or own your house. You can use a calculator such as entitledto.co.uk to find out

Fretfulmum · 23/03/2022 10:07

You also need to factor in NI and pension contributions for yourself if you are not working as many hours. It isn’t just about your current take home pay and childcare fees. The amount you would accrue in pension and compound interest can be vast if you cut down hours. Your DH would need to make these contributions for you should you reduce your hours

SmellyOldOwls · 23/03/2022 10:14

Check entitledto for a benefits calculation. If you're receiving child benefit that will cover basic NI contributions until your child is 18. I'm not sure if universal credit would sanction you for leaving your job because you'd be worse off paying for childcare but if I were you I would put in an application for universal credit now, see if you're entitled to anything at the end of the assessment period, and then discuss your return to work with them. I am guessing your partner isn't a high earner from what you've told us?

romdowa · 23/03/2022 10:19

Care homes are crying out for care staff. Surely you could find one that would allow you to work the days that your partner is off.

MyDcAreMarvel · 23/03/2022 10:23

@ChairCareOh It NEVER comes just out of the salary of the mother. It is a family cost. posters always spout this and it’s ridiculous. Yes childcare is a shared cost but if the mother working doesn’t or only just covers childcare then that job is not financially viable.
There is such a push for mothers to not be at home with their babies/young children it’s very sad.

HeyBlaby · 23/03/2022 10:29

Bank for the same company? I'd be very shocked if they won't accept that, I worked as a home carer whilst a student for three years on the bank and staffing has become more difficult since then.

Original poster
Jesssleigh · 23/03/2022 12:41

They don't do bank its not the problem of the hours during the week its because I cant work a weekend they expect every staff member to do ever other weekend sat and Sun 7am till 10pm they do not do half shifts I won't have child care on ant weekend and if I can would be the odd sat or Sun and not them hours

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