Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Employer denying work from home/flexible working

19 replies

Winkle2020 · 01/03/2022 03:28

AIBU I hope mums here can help me out. I wanted to reach out for some support going through a massive stress at the moment. I have two children under 4 and working full time as a lab manager at oxford. I have been always working from office in my previous companies, however after my DD was born my postpartum recovery was bad and I was no longer interested to go for job. I still had to accept a job which involves 4 hours of travelling up and down to pay our bills, my husband cannot manage the finance alone. The job initially has accepted for flexible working but then later this year they have made just my role as full time office based rather everyone else has been given atleast a day of wfh
I have raised my difficulty in managing the young children and commuting to office every day in several feedback sessions. They have agreed for a 8 to 4 working hours but still I work even after coming home as the work pressure is more. To reach office by 8 I will have to leave home by 5.30 in the morning.
Another bothering issue is that, they have made me handle all the heavy deliveries despite me raising concerns on lifting heavy items. They receive 100s of parcels for lab on some days and still none would help me unless I go ask. I feel like I am being dumped with over work just because I am not saying no.
I have been attending interviews for a while now to find a hybrid model of working but none worked out yet. I am very stressed. I miss my lovely children and I want to spend more time with them. I have no one to express this.

OP posts:
LollyLol · 01/03/2022 06:29

You must be absolutely exhausted!

Step 1, absolutely STOP doing additional work when you get home. Stop today. That is absolutely ridiculous unless you are getting paid a huge amount of money. If there is still work not done, you send an email at 3.30pm to your manager saying, "I'm leaving the office at 4pm, and here is a list of the work I cannot get done in the time available."

Step 2. Ask your manager to only have a 30min lunch break and agree that you can leave at 3.30pm.

Step 3. Send in a formal request for flexible working to your manager (see step 4 below). If it is rejected, send in an application to take a day of your annual leave as holiday every Friday, and tell your manager you cannot handle the commute and working in the office 5 days a week and you are looking for another job urgently. Use your Fridays off to get very serious about your job hunting.

Step 4. Four hours of commuting is crazy. Is it by train? If yes then can you put in your flexible working request to your manager that one hour of your journey time EACH WAY should count as working time and you will work on your laptop whilst travelling. That will save you 2 hours. So tell your manager you want to arrive at 10am, take your 30 min lunch, leave at 3.30pm. This means you can see the kids a little bit in the morning and you are home for dinner.

Step 6. If there are no other jobs and you need this one, can you relocate your family closer to Oxford? I appreciate that's not easy or cheap to do, but commuting 4 hours a day when you have little kids is impossible.

MaizeAmaze · 01/03/2022 06:48

Forget the flexi working bit, and find a job closer to home. If you gained 3 hour each day by not commuting more than 30 mins, you would be so much better off. And much less fuel usage too.

Having done a similar role before, I can see WFH not being the best mode for your responsibilities. Sorry.

Ylvamoon · 01/03/2022 06:55

Thats crazy, I'd look for a new job.

JamMakingWannaBe · 01/03/2022 14:28

There is a difference between flexible working and hybrid working. Can you even WFH if you are needed to sign for deliveries?

As PP, your current situation is unsustainable but your childcare and your commute are not your employers responsibility.

A four hour commute is madness. I'm not surprised you are exhausted!

What is it exactly you are asking your employer for?

Can your husband change his job? Can you move home? Can you move back to the company you were working for before you had children?

Something has to give.

JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue · 01/03/2022 17:03

You should send an email of formal grievance citing discrimination on the grounds of sex (due to your childcare issues and being treated differently to others who may not have children or be female)

You could also say discrimination due to disability (you have had post partum depression and this way of working is affecting your mental health).

If English is not your first language, you could also claim race discrimination if you feel you experience difficulty making your case and they are not helping you with this.

HermioneWeasley · 01/03/2022 19:50

Do you do the same job as those who have been told they can WFH one day a week?

It sounds like it would be difficult to do remotely if you’re required to manage packages etc.

You choose to live where you live - the length of your commute is not their concern. I quite understand that you want to be at home more with your kids, but that’s not a reason why they have to give you flex working if you can’t actually do your job at home.

Winkle2020 · 02/03/2022 06:05

Thank you everyone I feel like atleast there are people to listen to my worries. I knew that lab management needs physical presence on site, however since it's a research lab everyone else presence is expected as well more 5than me as they all do experiments and are in wetlab. They have all been given advice to stay at home when they dont have to do any wetlab. The operations team decided that they will ensure one of the team member will be there onsite to run the office. This means the team has 5 people at the moment and most of the time I see one or two people from their team on site. I requested a similar set up, I dont do any lab work and all my work is based on computer. They have hired a facilities person last week and he is going to help bringing all the parcels from reception to stores where he will store the temperature sensitive items in fridge or freezer and leave the rest of the items to be dealt by me. A lab technician is also joining next week who will handle all the items left in stores by the facilities person. I dont need to deal with deliveries once these two people are in action. She is local and not married yet. In all the feedback sessions where i have raised concerns on lifting heavy items and commuting daily, I have mentioned that until the facilities person and the lab tech joins I will make sure I will be onsite, once they join I can come three days a week and 2 days at home. This was a genuine ask. When all the other teams who has more need to be in the office and lab can have wfh option why it's only me who has to go everyday inspite of having two more people on site everyday. I feel like I am just being cornered. I have not let them down as I thought they genuinely wanted me onsite as the team has no one else, now that two more people are going to handle the deliveries I feel like denying my request is not fair. Sorry for a big rant, there is no other space I can speak and no one else who can listen to me. I am typing this going in a train crying missing my kids. Yesterday myself and my husband sat down and had a good conversation on what can be done. We have decided by the end of April I will give notice to job and look for something else nearby. It's a shame that the companies are willing to lose employees just like that. I am so thankful for all of you who has taken time to write for me, I am so touched. Let's keep talking

OP posts:
Monty27 · 02/03/2022 06:33

You're being bullied. Too late to join a trade union no doubt.
I'd get signed off by my GP. You're not fit for work under your new terms and conditions which you never signed up to.

LollyLol · 02/03/2022 06:36

Well, it is really good that you have a husband who listens and is helping you to form an action plan. He must feel worried about you.

Have you sat down with your manager one-to-one and had that conversation about the situation? Is your manager in the office?

If you want to keep the job, I have a suggestion. Dry your tears, and jump into action! Ok your next train journey get your laptop out and make a table. On the left hand column, make a list of your job responsibilities once the two new staff are working on the deliveries. In the next column, approx how much time per week spent on each of those tasks. In the next column note down whether those tasks must be done on a specific day of the week or time. In the last column wrote down whether you can do the tasks from home.

Then create a diary appointment for a sit-down with your manager, attach your list as pre-read, and ask him to discuss with you. When you have the meeting don’t speak too much, don’t go on about how hard you are finding it personally and the exhaustion of the commute. Just ask the question exactly as you have on your thread, “I don’t understand why my job requires me to be in the office when my job can be done working from home same as everyone else.”

In fairness most places of work do want someone to manage the workplace, just to ensure everything is running smoothly, have an on-site first aider etc.

It is definitely worth telling your manager that the situation you find yourself in is not possible to sustain and regrettably without the wfh adjustments you will be obliged to find a new job.

Monty27 · 02/03/2022 06:36

I'd get off the train and go home. I know it's dramatic but money isn't everything.
Get an appointment with GP this morning.

SunnyKlara · 02/03/2022 06:39

I don't think you are being bullied.

I have some experience of laboratory work and research roles. Everyone I know now has their lab manager in full time and researchers come and go. Yes a large number if the daily tasks are computer based, but you have responsibility to oversee the lab facility and that bit can't be done at home.

Tbh it sounds like, along with the commute, the job is unsustainable for you. I'd start looking for something closer now.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/03/2022 06:42

Why even apply for a job with a 2.5hr each way commute?

ChoiceMummy · 02/03/2022 06:45

I'm afraid that I'm of the opinion that you chose to take a job with a 4 hour round-trip knowing you had young children.
It's not your employer's responsibility to assist you to see your children more, as harsh as that feels.
It does not seem unreasonable for any type of site manager to be required to actually be on site. That may not seem fair to you when comparing colleagues hybrid model, but they have very different job descriptions to yours I would imagine.
Hopefully, the moving heavy object issue is now resolved.
I would be honest with work in your next one to one that you're looking elsewhere due to this issue and see what they say. If they just say they understand and good luck then you really have your answer.
I cannot imagine though that you will get such a well paid job elsewhere that is as child friendly as you hope.

UghFletcher · 02/03/2022 06:53

A hybrid working model only works when your role doesn't require you to be in an office overseeing everything - which ultimately is the role of a lab manager.

OP I do see what you're trying to say but you took a role with a 2.5hr commute each way. That's not their problem. They don't have any responsibility for your childcare either.

Sounds like you're incompatible with the role. Leave this job and find something closer to home and

Loopytiles · 02/03/2022 06:54

The locations of your home and job aren’t compatible: would seek a job much closer to home, or move.

AchillesPoirot · 02/03/2022 06:59

I agree with @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz. Why did you apply for this job in the first place?

gogohm · 02/03/2022 07:27

My exh is a scientist, his lab manager was in throughout the pandemic, they need to be onsite all the time the lab to manage the facilities including specialist equipment people need to book. For annual leave there's a deputy lab manager (we'll sort of nominated person really) who covers those elements and outside of working hours everyone has to have pre booked.

It's not their fault you chose such a long commute either.

Quit and find something more suitable

Qwill · 02/03/2022 08:26

Yes I think it sounds like your needs are not compatible with the role, I don’t think the company is behaving inappropriately. What on Earth does your new colleague’s marital status have an effect on? Or where she chooses to live come to that!!

Aniita · 02/03/2022 10:22

@gogohm

My exh is a scientist, his lab manager was in throughout the pandemic, they need to be onsite all the time the lab to manage the facilities including specialist equipment people need to book. For annual leave there's a deputy lab manager (we'll sort of nominated person really) who covers those elements and outside of working hours everyone has to have pre booked.

It's not their fault you chose such a long commute either.

Quit and find something more suitable

Exactly this. I think there are insurance implications too, which state that a competent person needs to be onsite during lab opening hours. That person is most likely the lab manager
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread