I work full time, long days, 12 hour shifts, sometimes night shifts, leaving my kids who are 7 and 1 at home with daddy and working between our shift patterns when we can. With the unsocial hour rate, and all the nights, I average pay of around £2000 but by the time deductions are taken off etc i take home about £1500/£1600. It takes me about 40 mins to travel to work each day, at the end of a night shift as well and I use about £60 petrol a week. I’ve really been struggling with my job as of late, mentally it’s a very gruelling job and I find it very hard to switch off after my shifts and all the abuse I get, being told I deserve to die and whatnot. I come home and still have my usual mummy duties to do. We claim UC as a couple as my partner doesn’t work as many hours. But he also doesn’t help as much as I do at home with the chores etc. My full UC award is about £1500 give or take (without deductions but currently we get about £300 per month uc)
I’m just sitting here thinking like why am I killing myself in this job, when I could be at home spending more time with the children, working on a business venture that I want to start, having much more time to work on myself physically and mentally as well, and let my partner take on more hours at work which he is more than happy to do? I do like my job but I really miss my kids when I do the nights, I don’t see the incentive pay wise to continue when I could be spending more time with them at home. The journeys are hell after night shifts I get stuck in traffic and I’m already so tired and I’m so petrified of getting into an accident and not being there for my babies.
And I would look for another job when my little baby turns 2, she’s only 1 and I just feel like I’ve taken so much on so soon after her birth. I just can’t make up my mind on the right thing to do for our family, I don’t want to be judged for wanting to not work I have worked since I was 16 but I’m just feeling so drained as well.
My working weeks are around 35-57.5 hours and I’m just so tired. What would you ladies do if you were me?