Resigning from job - Resons to give employer.

[JamSandwich0]

I am handing my notice in on Monday after securing another job.

I will naturally have to tell my boss my intentions. Which I am dreading!!
She has been very good to me, given me 2 pay rises in the last year, lots of responsibility, I can take any time off with the kids that I need etc.

However she is a horrendous bully to everyone else. Will tear people down in front of the whole organisation. Doesn't provide clear objectives changes her mind on the scope, gaslights, manipulates and gossips.

I know for a fact she takes resignations incredibly personally and I would like to stay on the right side of her, tbh I don't want the conflict. People have left before and told her exactly why and it's not been taken on board so I don't think it's worth burning my bridges over.
Of course she will ask why? How do I do it diplomatically? It is more money but she has very recently agreed a pay rise for me and I confirmed I was happy with the amount.

Do you have a go to, none offensive reason for resigning that I can use?

I absolutely appreciate that I am being soft as shit here but I have a lengthy notice period so it needs to approached carefully.

I would just say "it offers me new opportunities" and stick with that!

Just say that you ran across an opportunity that was too good to turn down. Be politely evasive if she prods and switch the subject back to how you're sooooo sad to be leaving because she's such a great boss.

You don't need to give a reason, my last boss was horrendous, I wrote my letter in such a way that I didn't give a reason.

Some suggestions:

• new opportunities
• more convenient location
• different hours
• agile working / ability to work from home
• better pay
• want to work in a different sector
• want to have a different job focus, eg does the new job focus on something different to what you do now
• moving from working with a different type of stakeholders, eg going to/from client focus to just internal stakeholders?

I think its perfectly fine to say that you just want a bit of a fresh start and the new role is exciting.

You really don’t have to give a reason,

Dear boss,

I have decided to tender my resignation with effect from x date.

I have enjoyed my time at company but I have decided to take on a new challenge, and would like to thank you for the opportunities you have offered.

Yours sincerely

JamSandwich

My letter was a bit like the one above, but without the second sentence

I would give her (verbally) a very pragmatic, impersonal reason eg it's a better commute, it's totally flexible working hours, it's got travel opportunities attached/no requirement to travel - whatever is different from your current role, and something that she could not accommodate for you.

If you are worried about her reaction I'd also over egg the "such a difficult decision, I will really miss working for you" side of things too. Bit calculating but needs must!

@Redshoeblueshoe

My letter was a bit like the one above, but without the second sentence

Mine too. Although I was so tempted to tell the fuckers what I thought of them

If just say leaving for a new opportunity.

Be prepared for her to turn on you, but it will only be for a short time as you will be leaving soon.

There is no value in trying to keep on the good side of someone like that.