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Original poster

Boss made an accusation

21 replies

badbosses · 18/02/2022 20:30

My boss has accused me of bad management out of nowhere and told me it would be discussed at a later date. She had no grounds for this at all.

How do I proceed? It's really shocked me!

I now feel as if she wants rid of me and this is her way to do it.

I don't want to share too much information on here!

OP posts:

Really18 · 18/02/2022 20:33

Are you a member of a union? I would call ACAS for advice on how to proceed.

Original poster

badbosses · 18/02/2022 20:34

It's a small company, no union.

OP posts:

DogsAndGin · 18/02/2022 20:41

She needs to tell you immediately if there is something wrong with your ability to manage or your performance. If it can wait til a later date, as she’s said, then it’s proof that your management is adequate as it doesn’t require immediate changes.

Also, the longer she leaves it, the more unreasonable it is for her to expect you, or any witnesses, to recall in any clear detail, the incident she’s referring to.

I wouldn’t worry about it - it’s an empty threat. But, it’s a warning to watch your back, and cross your Ts.

EBearhug · 18/02/2022 20:43

It's a small company, no union.

There's always a union, even if it's not recognised by the company. You can still join one, you just won't have a rep in-house.

AlexaShutUp · 18/02/2022 20:47

Ask her to detail her concerns in writing. Then you know what you're dealing with and can decide how to respond.

She might have a point (though it sounds like she has handled it dreadfully if you just been accused of bad management without any explanation). If her concerns might be valid, then you'll need to engage with her positively and work to address them. It's worth giving some honest reflection as to whether she does indeed have a point.

If they do not seem valid, then I would be seeking advice ASAP on how to defend your position. Keep a written record of everything and get her to put everything in writing too. If she refuses, send her a written summary of any meetings and ask her to confirm if your understanding is accurate.

Crazykatie · 18/02/2022 21:04

The comment was probably an off the cuff remark about something that did no go well, do you know what the comment referred to, if so could you have handled it differently.

For now carry on as normal, if it happens again you have to ask why.

Original poster

badbosses · 18/02/2022 21:08

Thanks everyone.

I asked her to detail her concerns and she said we would talk about it later!

I believe she is trying to blame me for a problem that has been created by her and her team. She is looking to blame someone and it seems she sees me as the target.

I'm pulling together my viewpoint ready for her. Should I be proactive and send it to her first? Should I tell my line manager? She is CTO.

OP posts:

Yearofthetygerburningbright · 18/02/2022 23:06

Join a union. Find the one that is right for you, see here:

www.tuc.org.uk/joinunion

Give it a fortnight or a month. If she hasn't raised it by then, approach her about it. Or don't, but either way, starting today, keep a record of what she says to you and anything remotely relevant that happens.

Unions can't help as much with ongoing issues. But this one hasn't really started properly (yet?) so you are probably okay if you get your ducks in a row ASAP.

Original poster

badbosses · 18/02/2022 23:42

Thanks for the link.

She's definitely going to bring it up again. It was sent by email after a string of other emails directed at me.

My worry is she could bad mouth me to shareholders/directors and I could be demoted etc. I would rather raise it and state my case and have witnesses rather than have her act out behind my back.

OP posts:

SeasonFinale · 19/02/2022 14:59

I would not raise it. Why draw attention to it if she decides not to. I would however pit together your response in case she does raise it. If she does make sure you draft response does actually address what is raised.

Original poster

badbosses · 19/02/2022 15:16

I guess I feel strongly about raising it as she has accused me of something that isn't true. I feel very nervous of over sharing on here so don't want to say too much. Surely making your employee worried on a Friday evening with false accusations against them is a shit move and totally unprofessional on her part.
I can't do my job now as I dont have the confidence in case she accuses me of anything else.

OP posts:

StiltonIsLife · 20/02/2022 15:43

Do you like working there ? If not, I'd look for another job.

tympanic · 21/02/2022 02:51

From what you’ve said, it sounds like she had a knee-jerk reaction and blurted it out without a case. She’s now got to try to build one to justify her reaction. Otherwise she would have sat down with you and addressed it by now. It’s hard to tell without details but she really should be choosing her words properly to support you to be a better manager if she really thinks there’s an issue, rather than just hurling an insult.

It is very unprofessional and a shit move. She’s guilty of what she accuses you of. Problem is, she’ll want to save face so she’ll be looking for any tiny issue with your work now to help back herself.

k1233 · 21/02/2022 03:26

Don't preempt her and email her. Wait for her to advise you of her issue. If she sets up a meeting, take your boss with you so you both hear what is being said. Also ask for the cause of her concern to be communicated in advance so that it can be discussed properly at the meeting.

If you have an inkling of the issue, by all means start getting your own notes together and prepare. But do not put anything in writing to her.

Bogeyes · 21/02/2022 03:29

Get everything in writing

Seafog · 21/02/2022 03:45

I'd wait and see what she actually says, and go from there.

daisychain01 · 21/02/2022 04:10

How long have you been employed there - do you have 2 years' permanent employment?

What's the difference between "my boss" and "my line manager"? Are they two different people - not clear from your updates.

daretodenim · 21/02/2022 04:58

Definitely wait. If you start defending yourself before you have all the info she's accusing you of, then you're on the back foot and look overly defensive.

Be cool, be calm on the exterior, even though inside it feels awful.

And if you know what the problem is re her team's work then you could start to gather any evidence you have that will help your defence after you've had the full attack.

But be very, very careful of your own work. She's going to use anything she can to get herself off the hook.

Ad yes, join a Union asap and also start looking for another job if possible - you don't want to work with her in a small workplace.

Willowowisp · 21/02/2022 05:28

When I had an awful experience, I kept everything in writing. Don't speak to her without following up with a note of the discussion which you send to her. Keep everything recorded. I had an awful time and it went on for a year but in the end, I won.

Ribenery · 21/02/2022 05:33

Have you got an HR department? I would speak to them on Monday and raise the fact that she did this and get your facts in with them upfront.

BuanoKubiamVej · 21/02/2022 05:49

If this person isn't your line manger then you nedd to talk to your line manager asap. If they are a competent professional they will be (a) on your side and (b) a buffer between you and the person who is trying to get you into trouble.

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