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Original poster

Is this bullying? Walked out of work today

38 replies

Iamneverfull · 13/02/2022 15:15

I work in retail and a manager has made my work miserable I did something a few weeks ago. I was stacking a shelf a few weeks ago and because I was reaching up and down I suddenly felt really faint, I get this from time to time and can usually catch it before it gets bad by eating something sugary (still breastfeeding a lot, especially through the night). I went to my bag, literally shoved a twirl bite in my mouth and said morning to a colleague when the manager asked what I was doing so I told him. He gave me horrible looks and followed me all day and then kept asking my colleagues where I was and if I had gone home! It's quite a big shop floor and I was with customers at the time. Today I have gone into work and was doing some online training we are supposed to do on each shift and I was very clearly doing my training and he came to find me and started shouting at me, saying I'm never doing what I am supposed to be doing (we've not actually ever been told what we should be doing whilst the store is closed so we just tick off our list of jobs until customers come in). He said so you are doing what you were doing last time and so I explained again that I still breastfeed and occasionally feel faint but I can usually regulate it quickly but I was no longer than a minute, he was rolling his eyes and saying 'rubbish'. In the meantime there are 2 other colleagues in the same role..one strolled in an hour late and the other was sat on her phone in the cloakroom whereas I was actually doing work. I work really hard in my job, I always start early, stay late if they need me too and am really good with customers but he told me I wasn't and I'm not a good employee? This is probably what upset me the most as it's so untrue! It was really embarrassing as it was infront of other colleagues and I did cry unfortunately as much as I didn't want to! I'm so cross with myself for that. I was due to hand in my notice tomorrow but I'm not sure if I should complain? I did walk out as I can't be followed/watched and intimated all day. I'm not the first person he has done this to, he has made other colleagues cry and even customers. I could sense it brewing from before Christmas as he would dismiss me if I spoke or look me up and down but I just told myself I was being too sensitive. Sorry that was a long one!

OP posts:
SometimesIwalksideways · 13/02/2022 15:19

Are you in a trade union OP? If so contact your rep as this seems like bullying . If not , join a trade uníon.

SparklingLime · 13/02/2022 15:19

Definitely complain.

Original poster
Iamneverfull · 13/02/2022 15:51

No I'm not but thank you, I will ask about this tomorrow.

OP posts:
MayThePawsBeWithYou · 13/02/2022 15:56

What a bully, is it a retail chain, have you worked there a while and is there a head office, area manager and occupational health dept. You can speak to ACAS if youre not in a union yet.

Bonbon21 · 13/02/2022 15:57

If he has a problem with you or your work he should take you aside and DISCUSS it in a reasonable manner.
Totally out of order to shout.
Presumably HE has a line manager?
I would be having a word with HIM.
And THEN hand in your notice....

LucyOrli · 13/02/2022 16:25

If you’re being treated unfairly because of breastfeeding, that’s maternity discrimination and it’s illegal. Do you have witnesses? I would take this man to a tribunal (if you can stand the stress of it).

HeddaGarbled · 13/02/2022 16:29

As you are leaving anyway, this would seem like the perfect time to make an official complaint about him. His managers need to know what’s going on.

OkayCoral · 13/02/2022 16:33

Agree that his superiors need to know about this.

SparklingLime · 13/02/2022 16:37

Pregnant Then Screwed offer advice and have a helpline: pregnantthenscrewed.com/support-services/

girlmom21 · 13/02/2022 16:44

Are you handing in your notice because you have a new job?

If you are, give it to him and tell him he's a prick. Call HR and tell them everything and ask to be put on garden leave or transferred until you've served your notice

Original poster
Iamneverfull · 13/02/2022 17:17

Thank you so much for your replies, I really thought I was being too sensitive. I have written a list of dates, times a details. I'm taking them into work tomorrow and asking to make a formal complaint to HR and also asked if managers can all be aware of the government guidelines about breastfeeding as I have had mastitis twice as a result of not being able to pump at work and they always seem so embarrassed to discuss it. I'm going to contact pregnant then screwed tomorrow, thank you for that. I think I can stand the stress of a tribunal if it stops the bullying in the work place, it's rife at the moment.
I looked for a job after the first incident with him, I probably would have stayed otherwise. I'm going to include it in my resignation I think?

OP posts:
MayThePawsBeWithYou · 13/02/2022 17:20

Are you going to resign anyway or hold out for a grievance and constructive dismissal. How long have you worked there, would you stay if he was moved or sacked.

girlmom21 · 13/02/2022 17:29

@MayThePawsBeWithYou

Are you going to resign anyway or hold out for a grievance and constructive dismissal. How long have you worked there, would you stay if he was moved or sacked.
You can resign and then claim constructive dismissal can't you? That's the point, isn't it? That they made your position untenable?
Original poster
Iamneverfull · 13/02/2022 18:20

I have been offered a lovely position which I would like to take, it is a lovely place where I used to work where I was respected. I feel like he won't lose his job and wouldn't like to risk it! But I will use that line about my position being untenable, that's a good one! Thank you.

OP posts:
MayThePawsBeWithYou · 13/02/2022 18:28

Resign, take the new job then sue them for constructive dismissal if you can.ACAS can help you through this. I would also go off sick with work related stress.

SparklingLime · 13/02/2022 18:36

Good on you, OP. That is absolutely unacceptable, indefensible behaviour from him.

Original poster
Iamneverfull · 13/02/2022 18:54

I did think of going off with work related stress as I feel sick, embarrassed and drained! But I feel like as he isn't in tomorrow (he only covers our store on a Sunday) that they would think I'm being a bit dramatic?

OP posts:
MayThePawsBeWithYou · 13/02/2022 19:01

Your health is the priority, even if twatface isnt there your colleagues are lazy, one comes in late and the other is on the phone while you rush around and feel faint. I wouldn't feel at all guilty about taking sick leave, it sounds a horrid place to work.

YouCantTourniquetTheTaint · 13/02/2022 19:05

You are not being dramatic at all, he is an absolute gobshite, and you should put your complaint in. It is constructive dismissal and as you currently have a protected status as a breastfeeding mum, you are well within your rights to complain and take it further.

Explain everything, including the not being told what you should be doing at any given time, so you used initiative to do your training whilst the store was closed.

I've worked with someone like that, and I left because of it, she couldn't hack being the deputy manager after being team leader so took it out on me another team leader. It was an awful time, I didn't take it further and I now wish I had. After I left the store turned to shit and she was sacked. So a natural consequence was nice to hear.

Original poster
Iamneverfull · 13/02/2022 19:29

So sorry you went through the same, it is really awful when it happens to you. I'm so glad she got sacked, I hope it makes her think twice about doing it again! Thank you for the support and all the good points, I have added them to my notes. I'm sure I will dither about until the last minute about whether to go in or not!

OP posts:
MayThePawsBeWithYou · 13/02/2022 19:33

If you dont want to go off sick then at least you know you will soon be out and can plan your dismissal case.. How much notice do you have to give.

Original poster
Iamneverfull · 13/02/2022 23:04

Yes, I'm really looking forward to my new job! I am hoping only 2 weeks but I think I have to give 4 weeks sadly. I am going to ask them if they will let me go sooner in this circumstance.

OP posts:
ItWillBeDone · 13/02/2022 23:32

Congrats on the new role but I'm sorry about how you've been treated. I'd suggest you think hard about pursuing a constructive dismissal case though. I left a role after being treated horribly. I was ready to go for constructive dismissal and had legal cover through insurance. The solicitors advised that it's very difficult to win a case of constructive dismissal. And you have to prove losses. If you have a replacement job there's apparently less of a case again.

I went down the route of a grievance, which elongated the stress. In hindsight, I wish hadn't bothered. My resignation clearly set out why I was leaving, for me it would have been better to leave it there.

Yellow85 · 13/02/2022 23:41

Personally, I’d hand in my notice and request an exit interview with HR and your managers’ manager. Then lay it all out for them and go.

Regularsizedrudy · 13/02/2022 23:43

Your manager has behaved appallingly (and discriminatory re breastfeeding) and I would definitely complain to HR. However I would advise that there is an unbelievably high bar to prove constructive dismissal and it is an incredibly stressful process (this is of course totally unfair but is the reality). I would suggest in your resignation you asked to resign with immediate effect so no notice or ask to be put in garden leave.